In parashat VaYetze (Bereshit / Genesis) Yaakov Avinu has a wedding. His father in law switches the bride. In the morning Yaakov, who inteded to marry Rachel – finds out that he actually married Leah – her twin sister. This trick causes Yaakov hatred against Leah. It might have been a small moment (As says the Ben Ish Chai) or it could have been as great prompting him to want to divorce Leah (Ramban). Hash-m (G-d) sees that Leah is hated and opens her womb to have children.

Hatred is not a cause and effect situation. Someone does something bad – that causes hatred. No. You choose to hate. [Thus all hatred because Jews were poor or rich or successful is just a pretext for hatred]

Apparently – Yaakov should have seen this switch to be from Hash-m and accepted it with love.

What can we learn. Our children or family’s act doesn’t cause our hatred. It helps us to choose to hate.

In the Sefer on Questions asked to Rabbi Haim Kanievsky – it mentions that if you don’t love a person 100% it means that you hate them the difference. Meaning – let’s say you love a person on 90 points and you could love them 100 points – you have 10 points of hatred against them.

What to do? How to stop the hatred cycle? We can stop associating acts to our level of love. Because they didn’t make dinner – I should hate them. No we can say there is a valid reason for the lack of dinner and not have an act cause hatred for our spouse, child or anyone else for that matter.

Obviously this does not mean we should condone evil or be lifeless without reaction. It just teaches us not to always associate acts with hatred of a person.

At the time of Covid – a couple was getting married. In the middle of the marriage – the police broke up the reception and detained the couple in the police station. The Kallah / Bride was crying in the police station.

Not long after a man came to the father of one of the spouses and admitted that it was he who denounced the wedding reception to the police. He asked for forgiveness. After much convincing the father forgave the man. But he said – that he also had to ask forgiveness from the married couple.

After much agonizing the hatan / groom forgave. The Kallah / bride refused. She said “I won’t forgive. What was supoosed to be one of the happiest days of my life – you turned it to one of the saddest! I will never forgive you!”

The family rabbi understood the Kallah’s anger at the man. Yet he knew it was praiseworthy to forgive. He spoke with the Kallah saying a story. Once a rabbi was observing a sleeping man. In his slumber a scorpion wanted to bite him – but a cat came an killed the scorpion. When he woke up he walked away and the ground where he slept collapsed. Astounded, the rabbi asked the man – what do you do to merit that miracles are performed for you? He replied – “Before I go to sleep I always forgive the people who slighted or wronged me.”

The girl heard and decided to forgive. Some time later – she & her husband were driving together and the car veered off a high embankment. The car tumbled down. The couple came out alive. The rabbis attributed their merit of surviving to their forgiving others.

We are upset by others. Some hold a grudge for years. The grudge didn’t help them at all. But they still hold on tightly. Let it go. Why do I hate?

Yoseph Hatzadik (Joseph) was sold into slavery by his brothers. When their father died – they expressed that Yaakov (their father) wanted Yoseph to forgive them. Yosef didn’t give a verbal forgiveness. Because of this him and his brothers came back as reincarnations and were punished for their deeds against Yoseph. Yoseph also was reincarnated because he did not forgive.

Someone I know was apparently swindled. She said she would never forgive him. Someone explained to her if she would not forgive – she and him would be reincarnated and he would have to return to her the money taken in another reincarnation. She said she would rather forgive. She prefered to forgive than to re-live.

It’s also forbidden to bear a grudge. It says “Lo Tisneh et achicha bilvavecha” Do not hate your brother in your heart.

Some include in their wedding invitations a card asking for forgiveness for any wrong they did.

In the Torah (Parasha Ki Teizei) it talks of a concept difficult to understand and some say was never put into practice. The Ben Sorer uMore is the wayward and rebellious son – if one’s son starts drinking wine, eating much meat, and stealing from his parents before the age of 13 – the parents may take him to Beit Din / the Jewish court of law – and they may execute him if he fulfills the requirements.

Which parent would ever send their son to be executed? Probably no one.

Rashi explains – this son is on the path to self destruction – We see the boy is going to start stealing and killing people to feed his decadent habits – . “we judge him according to his end – it is better for the son to die with merits than to die with demerits” Meaning that the parents are more concerned with the portion of heaven the boy will receive. If he dies being righteous – he will merit eternal life. If he dies as a killer – he may not. So they take the choice for him to inherit a portion in heaven.

So how does this help us? Many parents disregard the spirituality of the their children. They want their children to be doctors and lawyers – yet to be a good Jew – that is secondary. This concept of Ben sorer umoreh is teaching us that our job as parents is to be primarily concerned about the Torah spirituality of the child over academics, over wealth over status.

A lot of parents will want a child to be a doctor – and that is fine – if that is what the child wants – but their main concern should be that their child be a good Jew – following halacha – Jewish law and also have a good livelihood.

To Organize or Not

The dilemma: to work in a disorderly place and be less productive or take some time to organize and be more productive. It is easy to just work. I want to work. But I have to stop at times to organize.

How to Organize

One way to organize an office. Take everything out. Get a dropbox – a cardboard box to throw into anything you need.
Have a trash close by. Make 3 piles. Trash. Put away. Keep.
After the sort – take out the trash. Then make the recycle items and
trash items piles. Put them in respective bins.

Now remove things from dropbox. Categorize everything.

Put them into manageable – stackable boxes. You have two kinds of
boxes 1. things used. 2. Things to store for long term. Things used on a daily
basis – put them in accessible place in office. Things rarely used put into
long term storage. If you don’t use it – consider putting it in a remote
location.

A Second way to organize an office. Take everything out. Consider everything
as things to throw away. Take back anything that you find necessary. 
Get a dropbox – a cardboard box to throw into anything you need.
Have a trash close by. Make 3 piles. Trash. Put away. Keep.
After the sort – take out the trash. Then make the recycle items and
trash items piles. Put them in respective bins.

Label each storage box. For Label printers I found one program that is useful
called glabels. You can do merge with a .csv file. So you can create numbers
followed by a comma and the name of the box, load it to glabels and print them all at once.

Be stringent to not let loose things cloud your dest. It happens that things
that need to put away get stored on my desk until I store them away. Store
them away right away.

Before You leave the office – make sure 1. your desk is clear. 2. You put away
10 things. Little by little the ofice becomes clear.

Put things in the most accessible position. For instance if you have reams of
paper put them in lying the direction that is most easy to open – ie, with the
seam upwords. Put things with the information easily accessible – like eggs
with the date pointing outward or paper reams with the paper type label
pointing outward. Notice which way the arrow on the ream is pointing – the
point of the arrow points to side that the printer prints on. ie, if it prints
on the top of the ream & your printer prints on the top place the paper in the
way that arrow points upward.


Productivity tips 
Today as opposed to yesteryear – we have so many functions in software – it is
easier to get distracted. What I did was to install an old DOS word processor.
I use pc-write. then I copy text into windows. you might need a DOS emulator
like DOSBOX. You have to set up the program. I use PC-WRITE. You can even make
a shorthand file – words.sho – that you create to write short letter
combinations to type out the entire word. Like I associated leters e-d-u- to
spell “Education”.

At Seuda Shelishit (the third meal of Shabbat) we discussed the concept of wills. According to civil law – if a person dies intestate – without a will – apparently the remaining assets are given to the remaining family members.

Clarifying Who Receives What

It is good to make a will. It clarifies what should be given to whom. It prevents bad blood between family members. One should be aware of the differences of a Jewish will – according to Halacha (Jewish Law) or a Halachic will and a civil will.

What Parties Receive what in a Halachic Intestate Case

According to halacha – the wife gets her ketuva (marriage document) amount and the the sons inherit the rest. The daughters – since they are expected to marry and be taken care of by their husband – will not receive a portion. The first born male recieves a double portion. Three boys & one million dollars. Boy 1 gets $500k and 2 & 3 get $250k.

How to give Money to Others : Do it Before the last Moment

So what is there to do if you want a Halachic will and want to give to your other children – like your daughters – you write in your halachic will 1 hour before he dies he is giving a gift to Devorah of $1 million. Thus he is giving before he dies and thus it is a gift while he is alive. Obviously you must consult your local Orthodox rabbi to make sure the will is correct according to halacha.

Giving For Torah Causes

You can do the same for a Jewish Torah organization – he writes one hour before one dies he gives $1 Million for Torah Education to this particular institution with EIN number. Consult a lawyer what are the civil legal repercussions of writing such a will. You want the Will to be legal and authoritative according to the court of Jewish Law and secular courts. Usually a court cannot deny a gifting letter. In Jewish law – two witnesses signing on the document is more authoritative than a simple signature. Apparently it should be also in a court of law – as anyone can claim that the document was a forgery.

The Beit Din vs the Secular Courts

A Jew should not take another Jew to a secular court for a dispute. One should go to a Torah court – where the Rabbis rule according to Torah law. If one party refuses to attend – the Jewish court gives an Ishur – a permission slip to go to the secular courts for adjudication. As in arbitration the decision of a Jewish court can be binding in civil law as an arbitration agreement. This is one aspect to be concerned about if there is any disputes between Jewish parties.

The Importance of Giving for Torah Education

Giving for Torah education is really a must. People leave billions of dollars to universities. Their coffers are overloaded with funds – while some Torah institutions struggle to pay their rebbeim. Giving to Torah education is giving for Jewish continuity – for a Torah education is the most potent of all ways to assure Jewish continuity. Some give 5% or more of their assets to Torah institutions. It is not radical — as some secular moguls say they will give the majority of their wealth to secular causes.

This is what I got from AI.

Drafting a will to leave 5% of your estate for Torah education is a straightforward process, but it requires careful legal drafting to ensure your wishes are carried out correctly. For individuals adhering to Jewish law (\(Halacha\)), creating a separate document known as a Halachic Will is also essential to address specific Jewish inheritance rules. 

Disclaimer:

This is for informational purposes and is not legal advice. You must consult with an estate planning attorney and a qualified rabbi to ensure your will is valid and your wishes are honored according to both civil and Jewish law. 

How to make the bequest in a standard will 

A will must be created and executed according to your local laws. An estate attorney can help you with this. The following is sample language for a bequest. Specify the bequest: Clearly state that you are leaving a specific percentage of your estate to charity. Using a percentage is often recommended over a fixed dollar amount, as it automatically adjusts for changes in the total value of your estate.Identify the beneficiary:

Be very specific about which organization should receive the donation.

For a bequest directed toward “Torah education,” you should name a specific yeshiva, synagogue, or Jewish communal fund.Provide an Employer Identification Number (EIN): To avoid confusion, provide the organization’s EIN, which can be found in the IRS database.

This is particularly important if there are multiple charities with similar names.

Allow for discretionary use:

If you want the gift to be used for the most pressing need, include wording that gives the organization some flexibility in how it uses the funds. 

Sample language for a civil will “Five percent (5%) of the residuary estate is given, devised, and bequeathed to [Full, Official Name of Organization], a [State of Incorporation] nonprofit corporation, with its principal place of business at [Street Address], and its Federal Tax Identification Number [EIN]. This gift is for the unrestricted charitable use and purpose of Torah education.”

 Integrating Jewish law with a Halachic Will Those who wish for their bequests to be executed according to Jewish law should draft a Halachic Will (sometimes called a Shtar Halfek).

According to Jewish law (\(Halacha\)), a secular will may be invalid, particularly regarding the distribution of assets to heirs. The Halachic Will works with your civil will to ensure that your charitable wishes and the distribution of assets among your heirs align with Jewish law. Consult a rabbi and an estate attorney:

Coordinate these documents with professionals who understand both civil and Jewish law. Do not draft a Halachic Will without rabbinic guidance.Include specific Halachic clauses: The Halachic Will must contain specific legal language and provisions that address potential conflicts with civil law and ensure your requests are carried out.

Explain the charitable purpose:

The Halachic Will can further clarify your intent for the 5% bequest toward Torah education.

Address inheritance discrepancies:

It will also address the differences between civil law, which often divides an estate equally among all children, and Jewish law, which has a different inheritance order (e.g., sons may inherit before daughters). 

Key considerations Legal validity:

A properly drafted will is crucial for preventing family disputes and ensuring your intentions are carried out. Working with an attorney ensures your will meets all local legal requirements.

Informing your family:

To reduce the risk of a contested will, inform your family members of your charitable intentions.Notifying the charity: Informing the receiving organization about your planned gift can be beneficial. This allows the organization to thank you and prepare for the future gift. This is typically optional.

A child learns from observation. Observe kind parents – become kind kids. Observe stress – become stressful. Observe Positive environment – become positive.

In Parasha Matos – Benei Gad and Benei Reuven / the tribes of Gad and Reuven – ask Moshe for land outside Eretz Yisrael. They say we want to build pens for our livestock and cities for our children. Moshe corrects them – he says – he will give them the land – so they will build cities for their children and pens for their livestock.

He puts the children’s interest before the livestock. We learn that our children’s interests prime over our career ambitions. One reason why a Jewish person should not consider putting their children in a Public School. Orthodox Torah Day schools – teach children proper Torah values, how to honor parents – how to be a mench (good man) or a good lady. Public schools teach information – not values.

Hash-m will not ask a person – Why didn’t your child get a 100 on his or her math test. He will ask how come your child was not respectful to others. Public schools don’t teach respect.

Once a man was asked to take counsel with a Rabbi – A. Henoch Leibowitz about a marital issue. The woman said her husband was spending too much time doing his Job in Jewish Outreach and neglecting the Family. After hearing both sides the Rabbi concluded that he must spend more time with the family. I think it ended up that he neglected the family and divorced.

Is your children’s Torah education your priority? Do you want to Open the Doors to them reaching their potential – spiritually, emotionally, educationally and allow them to be the best person they can be?

Organizations Like Nechomas Yisrael help parents of public school kids get their children into Torah schools. This is their number 717-893-1343.

A person thinks – when I have enough pleasures or possessions I will be happy. Is that the right formula? Apparently not. We see the wealthy with yachts, cars and travel – they seem happy – but scratch a little deeper and you will find many are not.

There must be a formula. Hash-m – just like a human parent – wants his children to be happy.

The Secret Formula

The formula above is partially correct. We have to add something to this equation – the soul. People think only of the body. But we are composed of a body and a soul. Just like the body has pleasures – the soul also has pleasures it seeks. In reality, we are more a soul than a body. Our essence is our soul.

So if our bodily pleasures and attitudes are in sync with our soul pleasures – we will be happy. If they are not in sync with our soul pleasures it will make the soul sad – and thus following bodily pleasures (that are against the soul’s pleasures) may have the reverse effect on happiness and the emotional state of a person than not doing so.

So what is the real equation for happiness – following pleasures and attitudes that give the soul pleasure will make you happy. People who hate are not happy. People who steal are not happy. People who do good deeds that correspond to what Hash-m wrote in the Torah – give a person happiness. This includes mitzvahs, such as lighting Shabbat candles, keeping kosher, saying food blessings, reciting morning blessings, the Shema Yisrael, praying to Hashem, performing good deeds, learning Torah, helping others, and advancing the cause of authentic Torah Judaism.

That is the secret – that our deeds and attitudes have to correspond to what it says in the Torah for us to be happy. I say this not from just Torah sources (which was given to Moshe by G-d before millions of witnesses on Mount Sinai) but from experience. I have followed both types of pleasures – those that are in sync with the soul’s pleasures and unfortunately those that are not. I learned from the school of knocks.

So want to know if your attitude is in sync with Torah – go ask your local Orthodox rabbi. Jews follow the 613 commandments – as stated in the Shulchan Aruch (code of Jewish law by rabbi Yosef Caro) and non-Jews follow the Seven Noahide laws from the Torah. Start learning about them and you are taking a step in the right direction to becoming a happier person.

Parashat Behar speaks about Shemitah – the commandment for a Jew to leave their land fallow every seventh year. G-d promises that if one does so – he will have a harvest in the sixth year that will be great enough for to cover the sixth, seventh and eighth year. This is the proof that G-d wrote the Torah – no human could promise that a person who intends to let their field rest in the seventh year will receive extra produce in the sixth year.

There is a concept in Torah that defies human logic. Human logic says the more a person works – the more revenue a person gets. In Torah by a Jewish person resting weekly on Shabbat – a person receives blessing for the rest of the week – receiving more money by not working.

This is similar to the Shemitah – a farmer lays his field to rest – allows him to have a better harvest.

In the Gemara of Ketuvot 66b – it talks about Raban Gamliel that saw a woman that was searching for food among garbage piles. This young woman was the daughter of the formerly wealthy Nakdimon ben Gurion. He asked her what happened to her father’s wealth. The gemara says the salt (preservative) for wealth is lacking – meaning by your lack of money by giving to a reputable Torah charity organization, assures your wealth. Nakdimon did not give a sufficient percentage of his wealth to the needy and Torah causes – which caused his wealth to lack salt – preservation.

בס’ד

שבת שלום 💐
Shabbat Shalom Dear Friends
Parashat Acharei Mot – Kedoshim
The scale goat – Laws of Forbidden relations
PRIZES FOR CHILDREN WHO ATTEND
🥏🏈🎁🏆🎯🔮🏓🎲🎽

MJO Memo
There will not be any man with you when you enter the ohel Moed – the tent of meeting… vayikra – leviticus 16:17.” Hashem told Aharon that no man shall accompany him when he does the holy Avoda – Labor when in the ohel moed.
When we serve Hashem we can pretend we are the only one in the world to not be influenced by “what will other people say?” that’s one reason why we close our eyes when we recite the Shema. This helps us to become ourselves.
*A person gave charity TO A POOR person twice in a short period. His wife asked why he didn’t give the sum once. He said the first time I gave because i felt badly for him. the second time i gave because i wanted to do the Mitzvah of giving to poor – leshem Shamayim – only for the sake of Heaven/the Mitzvah. *

MJO MEM-O

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MJO Shaar HaShamayim Synagogue & Ohr Binyamin

Friday
🕯Candle-lighting 7:42 pm
🍷Havdala: 8:48 pm

Friday
6:45 pm Shir hashirim
7:00 PM Minha Followed by Arvit (all summer)

Shabbat Morning
8:30 am Shahrit
Kiddush 🍷🥖 🍲 🥚 🍇🍉🍰


Beit Midrash is open all day – come in and learn!

SATURDAY evening .
230: pm – father and son learning
– group Torah learning
3:00 pm children storytelling time
7:15 pm minha followed by seudah shelishit

Story of the week

Sunday
WOMEN ZOOM MEETING message us for zoom info. Shiur by Mrs Rivka Hadad MHC – Elevate – Sunday May 11 – 10 am EST * Zoom – Elevating ourselves during Sefira using the Torah & some psychology – Email rivkahadad18@gmail.com for the link

MEN – TORAH LEARNING 10:30

Sunday Morning Shaping Lives Hebrew School program for children. Enroll today, tell friends.
every Sunday 10:15 am – 11:45 am.
Let your children learn to read, write and speak Hebrew and learn Judaism.

Shabbat Kollel – come in and learn the subject you want in Torah anytime Shabbat day. We’ll provide a personal learning partner!

Eitz Haim Kollel Shabbat – all day and Sunday – Thursday mornings at MJO 11:00 am to 2:00 pm

Lag Baomer Celebration
Lag BaOmer Hilloula Celebration
Thursday Evening, May 15, 25 * lyar 18, 5785 at 7:00 pm
Celebrate the life of Rabbi Shimon Bar Yo’hai with a festive Dinner with Moroccan Music & Traditional Selling of Candles to receive blessing from Hash-m in the merit if our Great Tzadikim & Rabbis! Buying Candles is a Segula for Blessing
רבי שמעון בר יוחאי זיע”א
Couvert: $40 / RSVP: 718-962-4877
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*🤴🏻Talk to rabbi about “Every Jewish children deserves a Torah education” campaign. He will give you names of organizations to contact to help you place kids in Torah day school

IMPORTANT MESSAGE
Thanks to all who voted for Am Yisrael Chai in the WZO elections to help us get funding for MJO / SHAAR HASHAMAYIM.
We will start calling again for it in 5 years bs’d.

Matatia Chetrit

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