In the Torah (Parasha Ki Teizei) it talks of a concept difficult to understand and some say was never put into practice. The Ben Sorer uMore is the wayward and rebellious son – if one’s son starts drinking wine, eating much meat, and stealing from his parents before the age of 13 – the parents may take him to Beit Din / the Jewish court of law – and they may execute him if he fulfills the requirements.

Which parent would ever send their son to be executed? Probably no one.

Rashi explains – this son is on the path to self destruction – We see the boy is going to start stealing and killing people to feed his decadent habits – . “we judge him according to his end – it is better for the son to die with merits than to die with demerits” Meaning that the parents are more concerned with the portion of heaven the boy will receive. If he dies being righteous – he will merit eternal life. If he dies as a killer – he may not. So they take the choice for him to inherit a portion in heaven.

So how does this help us? Many parents disregard the spirituality of the their children. They want their children to be doctors and lawyers – yet to be a good Jew – that is secondary. This concept of Ben sorer umoreh is teaching us that our job as parents is to be primarily concerned about the Torah spirituality of the child over academics, over wealth over status.

A lot of parents will want a child to be a doctor – and that is fine – if that is what the child wants – but their main concern should be that their child be a good Jew – following halacha – Jewish law and also have a good livelihood.