Avraham Avinu – our Forefather was known for kindness. When one is kind – they actively seek opportunities to do kindness. The closer the person is to you, the greater the kindness. It is more important to do kindness with child than with friend, more important to do kindness with wife/husband than than a stranger.
Sarah – the wife of Avraham – lived 127 years. In the Weekly Parasha of Chayai Sarah – Avraham comes to eulogize her and cry for her. In the Troah pasuk / verse that states this – the word for cry in Hebrew – Bokheh (or Livkotah) – is spelled with one small letter – the Khaf. In the Baal Haturim explains that Avraham did not cry so much for Sarah. One explanation is because she was an old woman.
Another possible explanation of why Avraham didn’t cry so much at her passing – is because Avraham took full advantage of her presence when she was alive. He gained from her wisdom, he did kindness with her. He connected, appreciated and empathized with her. He spent quality time with her to the fullest extent.
So when she passed way he didn’t have so many regrets that he did not do what he could have to help her – he helped her to the maximum. He did didn’t regret having not spent enough time with her – he did as much as he could to connect.
Many a time – why do people cry at times of departure from another person – is because we regret. We regret – we could have gained so much more. Avraham gained as much as he could have from Sarah, so his crying was limited.
What can we learn? Let’s put our priorities straight and spend more time with family connecting – and less on distractions and social media. Judaism helps a person to connect to family and others on a deeper level daily. On Shabbat – we spend quality family time together. We interact with them at Synagogue. Daily we have opportunities to learn Torah Together.
Torah is a deep way to connect with others. The connection is more than a mere conversation – it is a connection of souls. When we connect with Torah it is a much deeper connection. Concern, Empathy, Hashkafa / Jewish Outlook and Hizuk / encouragement conversations help connection. Politics, news and vain conversations don’t really help one to connect as well as Torah.
Why was the letter Khaf small? Why not the Vet or the Hei? I presume possibly that Avraham always kept his relationship fresh. Khaf – has the numerical value of 20. It is possible that he regarded her always the same as when she was 20.