King Solomon, Sholom HaMelech, the wisest of all men stated in Mishle / Proverbs – “Greater is a good name than good oil. It is better the day of death than the day one is born.” He also wrote “better to go to the house of a mourner than a banquet.”

No, King Solomon was not trying to be a downer. He was looking at life in the face and was asking what does G-d want from me and what am I personally supposed to achieve in life.

Why is it better to go to a mourner’s house than to a banquet? Death sometimes wakes a person up to the fact they only have a limited time to accomplish good in this world. After one dies, there are no more Mitzvot, just reward (and punishment).

This is the story of the Vilna Gaon, the tremendous Genius. On his deathbed he started crying. His students aked him, Rebbe why are you crying? Holding his tzitzit strings on his talit katan (Small Talit, that a Jewish man wears daily to remind him of the Mitzvot), He answered “In this world for a couple rubles one can do a mitzva, in the next world there are no more mitzvot. That is where one receives reward.”

At times it makes sense to think out what a person would like to hear at their own eulogy or think of the end of their life and what they could have accomplished had they been more productive.

All the years of TV – did it serve something to better the world?
All the years of Video games – made you a better person?
All the times you spent time with your children – you gained satisfaction and came out better?
All the time that you helped someone else – do you regret.

The Torah provides you with a reality check – the ethical works / mussar, like the Mesilat Yesharim – path of the Just, Pirkei Avot, Ethics of the Fathers, help you wake up to what G-d expects of you.

Many people, on their deathbed regret the time they wasted. They regret the time they followed after false ideas because before death one comes face to face with reality.

Some wake up to the fact they were following after false gods. Some wake up to the fact of how many people they hurt. Some repent by feeling badly they did not follow the Torah’s ideals – which is more valient than not doing teshuva at all. Some go to death, holding on to their false ideals because they don’t want to admit that they wasted their life – going after vanities.

This is what Solomon meant “Wake up now, so you won’t have a rude awakening later – when it is too late.”

Better to wake up now when a person can do something rather than later when one is old or it is too late.

I speak to all, including myself.

So why is the day of death better than the day of birth?

When a person is born, they have many tempations and dangers that they face. When they die they have defined themselves – who they really are. A popular story to illustrate this is – A wise man at a port saw two ships – one departing and one arriving. Those on the departing ship were cheering and laughing and those arriving back were sad. The man said – it is more appropriate that those departing be sad – for they know not what lies ahead of them – the dangers, the travails, and the barriers. Those that are arriving back should be happy – for they arrived back safely.

So why is a good name better than good oil? Certain high quality oils sink. But a good name always remains on top.

Those that used the Torah as a true guide for their lives – are happier when they reach the final destination – for they hopefully accomplished what they had to in life.