I have an old Dell laptop. Fast for it’s day. But it’s day was about 5 years ago. Today the fast microchips are about 12 times faster than that in my laptop. It has scratches. It crashed – so I replaced it with a Linux Operating System called Fedora.
It is a bit beat up, but I still enjoy using it.
My car is the same – a bit beat up – but I still enjoy it.
Many a time one enjoys an object until the next model comes out. Then the novelty wears off.
So, people play the “keep up with the Jones” game. He has 2014 model, I must get the 2015 updated version. They continue until the end.
Even worse they do the same with their spouse – “time to get a newer model.”
So what? Just stay with that old phone till it breaks?
No. The Torah wants a person to enjoy their belongings and their lives. It doesn’t want a person to play the keep up with the Jones game. That is living for and giving control of your life in the hands of others.
The Torah says “Jealousy, Honor [seeking] and Desire – take a person out of the World” (Pirkei Avot) One possible explanation is because you make your happiness dependent upon others. You should be in control of your own happiness. The Torah says- you control if you are happy or not.
So how can one prolong enjoyment of their old jalopy or old laptop?
Use it for spirituality. Type Torah Texts. Send Get Well Soon Emails. Use Your creative Talents for Judaism. Renew yourself and Renew your tools.
But the same applies to renewing relationships. After a person is married, the humdrum of everyday life seeps in. Sometimes husband and wives and families live lives in their own cocoon – not sharing experiences or joy together. Each one in their own room with their own computer screen or TV. Who are those people who pass me in the hall? Oh yeah it is my family!
When one experiences spirituality – in combination with other activities – with family a greater bond is formed. When one spends time at the Shabbat table with the family – we bond. We share experiences, life, Torah, questions, songs, ideas, and of course delicious food.
Learning together with a son or a daughter allows you to hear what they have to say – what their opinions and views are – and helps them to blossom into greater individuals. Many books are available in English or practically any language you want – on Torah topics.
Apparently this is one reason why – Avot UBanim – is such a popular Program. Avot Ubanim is when father’s learn Torah together with their sons. The sons receive door prizes, refreshments and a chance to win in a raffle. Father’s and sons bond. It is more appealing that a watching football game because – in the game both father and sons are spectators. In Father and son learning there is a healthy interaction – and sharing of ideas – between father and son through the medium of learning Torah.
Or when a mother makes cookies or fresh Challah – bread – before Shabbat for the Shabbat Queen. It is a time to bond. Preparing for Shabbat is one opportunity to forge relationships.
Sharing spirituality is one way to renew relationships. The Torah outlook is that one should spend quality time daily with each member of the family.
This is what life is made of.