When G-d Created Man – He created man and woman as a single entity. He then separated the woman from the man – taking Adam’s Rib.

A couple that is destined together are really two parts of one being that are united.

Their Goal is to Achieve a Higher Purpose Together. A man’s wife helps him to perfect himself. (One Reason why she should encourage him to learn Torah)

The terminology the Torah uses is “He made her a Helpmate against him.”

Why? If a man is fit she helps him. If he acts improperly she is against him. (hopefully in a tactful way)

Man is Ish (Aleph, Yud, Shin) in Hebrew. Woman is Ishah (Aleph, Shin, Heh). If Hash-m (G-d – represented by the Yud and the Heh) reigns between them through acting properly by observance of the precepts of the Torah, then there will be peace. However, if we remove the letters of Hash-m – we have Esh and Esh (Fire).

Thus, Torah helps a family and marriage to be happy.

There are many Torah resources available to make marriage Work like :

Texts
TEN RULES FOR A SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE / An Exercise for increasing happiness and confidence – By Rabbi Zelig Pliskin

Sites
Aish Hatorah Marriage Section

Books
Marriage by Rabbi Zelig Pliskin
Hundreds of families rely on him to guide them through the rapids of life. A wise and sensitive guide to making any marriage even better! Rabbi Pliskin shares the common sense, practical approach that has worked wonders for hundreds of families. With his positive attitude and encouraging comments, he illustrates his advice with hundreds of real-life stories.

The River, The Kettle and the Bird. Which explains that there are three stages of marriage. One is when the relationship is like a business deal, another when it is like a joint venture and another when they are like one being.

Each stage requires work and investment.

The Garden of Peace – Men’s Edition
The benefits that a husband will attain both on a spiritual and a material level defy description, once a husband gets to the root of his marital problems and makes his wife first place in his life. The nagging and complaints will disappear, as well as the petty requests and the demands on his time. The husband will feel the benefit of Divine assistance and will succeed in whatever he does. Translated by Rabbi Lazer Brody.

Women’s Wisdom – The Garden of Peace – Women’s Edition
There are times when we ask ourselves, “Why aren’t we fulfilling our potential? Are we aware of our own tremendous power?” A person must know their phenomenal intrinsic value and capabilities. Through this understanding, they derive the strength to withstand all of her trials and challenges, and they becomes more effective in building the home, as King Solomon says, “A wise woman builds her home, and the fool, with her own hands destroys it” (Mishlei 14:1). Includes : marriage, successfully raising children, dealing with financial matters, and even food!

Another Book is:

The First Year of Marriage: Enhancing the Success of Your Marriage Right from the Start — And Even Before It Begins. R. Dr. Twersky gives practical self-help advice from the standpoint of the Torah. He is well respected in the Jewish Community.

Artscroll and Feldheim have many books on the subject

The Shmuz has audio on Jewish marriage and Jewish self-help topics
Here is a link to one of their audio lectures on Marriage:
Marriage: I Can’t Respect Him / Her

There are organizations in the Jewish Community to Promote peace

Like the Five Towns Marriage Initiative
Five Towns Marriage Initiative provides educational programs, workshops, and referrals to top marriage therapists. FTMI will help offset counseling costs when necessary and also runs an anonymous shalom bayis hotline for the entire community Sunday, Tuesday, and Thursday evenings, 10:00–11:00 p.m. For the hotline or for more information, call 516-430-5280 or e‑mail dsgarry@msn.com.

Some also promote peace and prevent domestic violence

Shalom Task Force – Promoting Healthy Marriages and Peaceful Family Relationships – http://www.shalomtaskforce.org/

Their Hotline Number is (888) 883 2323 or (718) 337 3700

If a woman needs help she should not hesitate to call these services – they can help her receive help, cope, deal with psychologically and overcome the trials of domestic abuse – be it psychological or physical. They are strictly confidential.

Deciding to Observe Torah not only increases happiness between the couple, but helps increase the happiness of the family. Children feel when there is tension between husband and wife.

They are happy when peace reigns. They are happy when the family lives a life of harmony and wholesome goodness together. Peace and Happiness is within reach with the proper effort.

Rabbi Aryeh Kaplan, obm, was a Genius Physicist that wrote articles inspiring Youth and Adults to Understand the ways of Judiasm. One of the Essays in One of His books, the Aryeh Kaplan Reader, treats the Subject of Extraterrestrial life.

Does Extraterrestrial Life Exist?

Other Books from R. Aryeh Kaplan

Aish HaTorah Conducts a Seminar in New York and Jerusalem Called the Discovery Seminar that shows that believing in Judaism is not a matter a faith – it is a matter of Fact.

Many people I know who have attended – were amazed by the material in this seminar. It opened their mind and life to new horizons. I highly recommend it to anyone who has a desire to know the proofs of the veracity of Judaism.

Here are a Sampling of Discovery Classes:

Distinguishing Knowledge from Faith
The Seven Wonders of Jewish History
Information Only the Author Could Have Known
Transmission: Is Today’s Torah the Same as the Original?
Codes: The Hidden Genius of the Torah
G-d’s Hand in History – Divine Providence
Predictions in the Torah and Prophets – Prophecy Fullfilled

Aish Discovery Seminar

bs”d

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Jerusalem Life

The Hebrew language is different. In other languages words that are usually arbitrary describe an object. In Hebrew, however, the language itself describes the essence of the object.

Man’s Best Friend
Hash-m gave Adam – the first man – the task of naming all the animals. Their names describe their essence. He called the dog – “Kelev” – which is an acronym for “Kulo Lev” – all heart. Recognizing this attribute, some call the dog “man’s best friend.”

Water
“Mayim” means water in Hebrew. Water in it’s natural state on earth has no definite form. It takes the form of the container. Thus the Hebrew word for water contains the word “what” (“mah” – what in Hebrew). Since it has no form – What is it?

Hebrew is also the “Mother of all languages.” Take the word Mayim – it is related to the English – for water also has the English word “what” in it. In old French water was called Aqua – which also contains the word for what in French – “Quoi?”

The Hebrew word for water is “mayim” it is spelled mem – yud – mem. There is a mem in the beginning. A yud in the middle. In the final mem at it and. So if you were to imagine that it is two same letters attached by one letter in the middle. This is similar to the chemical composition of water – H2O. There are two hydrogens attached to one oxygen atom.

Fruit
The word for fruits in Hebrew is “Perot” – the letter Peh in Hebrew is synonymous with the letter Pheh. Peh is a Pheh with a dot in it. Thus fruit comes from Perot. In French also fruit is fruit. There are many other examples in which words from other languages are based upon the Lashon HaKodesh – “the Holy Tongue”.

Sound waves and Letters
The letters of Hebrew create sound waves that look like the letters that are pronounced. There was a study done by Yakov Guggenheim – that used software to discover this phenomenon. See the wonders of the world – by R. Zamir Cohen or Read His Book – The Coming Revolution – Science Discovers the Truths of the Torah

Your Hebrew Name and Your Essence
The Hebrew name of a person also describes their essence. If a person is interested in finding out what their essence is and what their particular purpose is in life – one can examine their Hebrew name to see if there were famous Jewish Torah personalities that also had the same name and a similar goal. Also a person’s Hebrew name is also encoded in a verse of the Torah that may describe them. The Vilna Gaon mentioned that every Jewish person’s life is described in the Torah.

Codes in the Torah
An article in “The Journal of Statistical Science” spoke about this – that many contemporary rabbis names and dates of their birth or deaths are found encoded in the Torah. Several books have also been written on the subject.- like – Cracking the Bible Codes by Jeffrey Satinover. For more info on Bible codes click here

An example:

— The Name RaMBaM (Rabbi Moshe Ben Maimon or Maimonides – a tremendous Torah scholar) is encoded in the Torah. The first letter in four consecutive words starting at R’voth in Shemot 11:9 spell RaMBaM. Passage 11:9 in Shemot talks about Moses and wonders done in the land of Egypt. Moses Maimonides also lived in the land of Egypt and did wonders there also.

Also starting at Shemot 11:9 is encoded the name of one of Maimonides’ works, the MiShNaH TORaH. From the Mem in the name Moshe in Shemot 11:9 count 50 letters to find a Shin. Another fifty letters you find a Nun and another fifty, a Heh. So where is “TORaH”? Count 613 letters from the Mem in Moshe, you find a Taf. From that Taf keep counting every fifty letters, to find the rest of the word TORaH. There are also many other encodings including names (Adam, Kain, Abel, Aaron etc.), places (Israel, Babylon etc.), plants, as well as many other words. In many instances the encoded words are related to the subject ot the paragraphs that they are in. There are also other ways in which information is encrypted in the Torah.

Gematria – The Numerical Value of words
The value of a Hebrew word can be calculated using Gematria – A method of disclosing the hidden meanings of a Torah or text according to the numerical values of Hebrew letters or of substituting other letters of alphabet for them in accordance with a set system. (ie, aleph =1, yud = 10, Kuf = 100) The numerical sum of the letters in the Hebrew word HeRaYON (pregnancy) totals 271, which is the length of a normal pregnancy in days.

Other examples:

— The numerical value of YaYiN (wine) and SOD (secret) are both equal to 70. Hence the saying, “when wine enters, secrets are out.” (Talmud)

— Jacob in his dream saw a ladder which reached from earth to heaven (Genesis 28:12). The ladder is SINAI, for SULAM (ladder) and Sinai have the same numerical value, 130 (Midrash Genesis 68:12). Thus, the Law revealed at Sinai is the ladder which leads from heaven to earth.

— The Torah says that we should give one-tenth (TaASeR) to one-fifth of our earnings to tzedakah (charity). TaASeR is spelled Taf-Ayin-Sin-Resh valued at 400, 70, 300, 200 respectively. Take a tenth of each letter thus getting 40, 7, 30, 20 or mem-zayin-lamed-chaf (MaZaLCha – luck). Thus if you give a tenth to charity, you will have luck. – (The Gaon of Vilna)

Hebrew – The Power to Create
Hebrew has the power to create. Hebrew is the language that Hashem used to create the world. Like it says in Pirkei Avot (Ethics of the Fathers) – Chapter 5:1 “With 10 utterances was the world created; what does the Torah come to teach? And could it not have been created with the one saying? Rather, it was done to collect [payment] from the wicked that they destroy the world that was created with 10 sayings. And to give great reward to the righteous that they uphold the world that was created with 10 sayings.” We see from here that Hebrew words can also create.

There is a pleasure that some have overlooked lately – for it has taken a backseat to the entertainment industry. The pleasure of thinking.

Go to the Beit Hamidrash / House of Study in a Yeshiva to see partners debating fine points in the Talmud. They question their partner’s point of view, their initial understandings and even their own point of view to determine whether they make sense or not. They ask “is it logical?” The Talmud is the ultimate masterpiece of logic of all time.

Questioning is never inhibited because the entire goal is to get to the truth. Please don’t believe because of faith – believe because of fact, actual experience and logic – Judaism encourages questions.

When falsity exists people push questions under the rug. The truth is not afraid of questions.

At times, people would rather stick to their guns and accept things absurd because it interferes with their pleasures or their lifestyle.

This is not the way of Judaism. Judaism is open-minded in that it discusses all matters of life and delves into finding the truth of ethical, philosophical and legal issues.

All issues are evaluated thoroughly to assure that all the ends are tied.

The question we’re treating today is : Does Evolution Makes Sense?

It’s a very important question to ask because children in schools are are indoctrinated (… oh, sorry, that wouldn’t be politically correct …) I mean taught it daily – without protest or the bat of an eyelid. Respected Scientists and news media take it for granted, they quote – “a new incredible fish was discovered that is covered with eyes …” – a wonder of billions of years of randomness??!

Let’s look at it in a mock conversation that illustrates the point of view of evolution according to evolutionists:

The first two amoebas in the world were talking together.

They got into an argument.

Amoeba A – “I’m telling your mother”

Amoeba B – “I have no mother – I was formed through random molecules that just happened to form me and my perfect DNA Helixes. so what are you going to do now – you one celled creature

Amoeba A – “That’s interesting the same exact thing happened to me. What a coincidence?! You better apologize – because if not in a billion years i am going to become a lion and you will will see.

Ever think of the following…

If the first amoeba was formed through random molecules – it wouldn’t be alive. It would be a physical object like a chair without life.

The probability of a random creation of actual bacterial product is greater than 1:10^120 (1 with 120 zeros following it) (text 2001principle.net site) Would you bet a million dollars on a horse that had those odds of winning?

Statistics prove the probability of evolution decreases the more cells there are because the probability of 2 cells being created by randomness is much less. Multiply that by all the cells in the world from the beginning of time and you find evolution is impossible.

Perfect DNA strands that are similar in all life forms formed by random molecules?

Where did these molecules come from? Who created them?

Do Amoebas have a will to evolve?

Do inanimate cells have a will to form into different parts of the body?

Can something physical have a will? Or can a chair want something?

What is the physical difference in something that is living and dead?

Can uniformity and beauty in all nature come from randomness?

What about a perfect balance between the whole natural ecosystem?

What about all the other creatures in the world, their existence and development – through randomness?

Perfect interaction between male and female genders through randomness?

Creation of a male and the perfect counterpart – the female – with randomness?

Perfectly formed Babies through randomness?

The conception, incubation and birth process perfectly coordinated through randomness?

Body parts and systems (respiratory, circulatory, nervous, skeletal, etc.) perfectly formed through randomness?

Body parts and systems (respiratory, circulatory, nervous, skeletal, etc.) perfectly functioning through randomness?

Einstein knew this scientific problem. He said “G-d does not play dice with the universe.”

Darwin himself – said that his theory is difficult to accept because the complexity of a human eye cannot be explained by randomness.

So some scientist will say that aliens came from outer-space to plant seeds here. So where did the aliens cells come from? And their seeds? You have the same question.

Still make sense to you? Draw your own conclusion – you are intelligent.

The lost art of thinking.

The initiators of the quarrel against Moses were four. Korach, Ohn son of Pelet, Datan and Aviram.

At the time of the showdown, further on in the parasha / Torah reading (Korach), Ohn is not mentioned.

What happened to Ohn?

His wife reasoned him. She said :
“In any case you gain nothing from the quarrel. If Korach wins, you will be secondary to him. You are already secondary to Moses. So what do you gain?”

He agreed, but didn’t know how to back out.

“Let me take care of it,” she said. She made him fall asleep with wine.

When they came to pick up Ohn, she sat in front of her tent with her hair uncovered.

The men were dissuaded from entering the tent when they saw her thus. So they went to the showdown without him.

In the end all involved in the quarrel died. Her intelligence saved her husband.

A wife has great power to make her husband righteous.

Once two righteous people were married. They divorced. Both married an unrighteous person. In the end the righteous man became unrighteous. The unrighteous man became righteous. Wives have the power to help their husband reach their potential. It is one of their purposes to achieve in life. Smart women influence husbands for good according to Torah values.

It says in the Torah, that just like the Jews were redeemed from Egypt due to the righteous women of that time, in the time of the current exile we will be redeemed due to the righteous women of our time.

How? I don’t know.

But perhaps it is by the wives influencing their husbands to do Mitzvot and learn Torah.

A woman gets half of the reward her husband’s Mitzvot in the next world. Torah study is one of the greatest Mitzvot. Want a better house there? Send your husband to a Yeshiva or shul regularly to learn Torah instead of letting him kill time.

You have the power.

Life is easier observing Judaism.

Torah Observant Jews have higher levels of well-being than their counterparts of every other group in America, according to new data from the Gallup-Healthways Well-Being Index. Observant Jews Scored a 71.2 in the composite score of the Gallup-Healthways Well-Being Index.

Why?

1. Relationship with Hash-m

A Torah Observant Jew has an added dimension in his life. He is in regular communication with Hash-m, when praying, saying blessings, expressing hopes to help him get through the day. We always have Hash-m to turn to at any time or any place. Belief in G-d gives us more strength to overcome challenges of everyday life. Your prayers are answered.

2. All Our Acts are Purposeful and Elevated
Some may say, I want to do what I want when I want, I don’t need rules. But Each physical act done as a Mitzvah elevates the act to doing the will of the Creator and also gives us purpose in each act that we do. The act has an effect on our personal character traits. By doing and achieving our purpose, we believe in ourselves and become ourselves and live a more meaningful life.

3. Your Questions are Answered.
If you want to know what is expected of you just look in the Torah.
Want to know the why of anything? Look in the Torah.
One realizes that life has a purpose. His purpose is clear and he spends time achieving it – rather than being in doubt of what it is.

4. Know What is Right and What is Wrong
When the average person, has an ethical dilemma or any other question in life, they ask professors, family, friends, neighbors, or thinks tanks – till they get answers – not necessarily the same or correct.

The Torah, given 3,300 to the Jewish nation, by Hash-m, at mount Sinai – the only time in History that G-d appeared to an entire nation (no other people or faith can say this) gives you all the answers. What is right and what is wrong according to Hash-m not society.

Here is a dialog of a person and a Rabbi to illustrate the Problem of Relying on Society’s Values :

Rabbi: Once I taught a class of college students about ethics. I asked them a simple question. “Why in general is one allowed to kill animals but it is not right to kill humans?”

Daniel: That’s simple. Men are more intelligent.

Rabbi: So are you proposing that killing of unintelligent people is acceptable?

Daniel: No. Not at all… Killing is not good for the society at large.

Rabbi: So if it is “good” for the society – like to save money of health care costs – can you condone killing?

Daniel: No. So what is the answer?

Rabbi: It is an absolute truth that it is wrong to kill people – because G-d said it is wrong. Any reason that you can come up with besides that one – you can justify genocide. Because if society determines what is right and wrong they can justify murder, like the Nazis did. Society can change it’s mind about the law. G-d does not change His “mind” or the Law.

A person wants to do what is right. Their problem lies in 1) knowing what is right 2) knowing if his plan of action is proper for his particular situation and 3) doing it. A Torah observant Jew knows what is right from the Torah. He just has to grapple with 2) knowing if his plan of action is proper for his particular situation and 3) overcome the challenge of doing the right thing.

5. Easier to Cope and Feel Good About Yourself
Many precepts of Judaism make you feel good about yourself. On the path of the Torah, you know you are going in the right direction. Hash-m has faith in you. You can always do Teshuva (return). (see “You are Special” card in our Freebies section)

6. It Structures Your Life
Daily Structure
A Jew’s life is well structured. He or She wakes up in the morning says Modeh Ani (expressing Hash-m’s faith in us), washes hands, says the Shema, the morning prayer and eats a bread breakfast.

When eating we recite blessings on the food.
After our needs, we recite Asher Yatzar – Blessing of the wonderful creation of man.
Before retiring we recite the Shema Yisrael – expressing our belief in Hash-m.

Weekly Structure
At the end of the week we desist from creative activity on Shabbat, allowing us to rest, spend time with family and reflect on our purpose and goals in life.

Yearly Structure
Every year we are privy to various Holidays allowing us to spend time with family.

Our diet is managed by allowing us Kosher foods.
Our clothes are managed by Torah specifying appropriate clothes (Non-Shatnez (mix of wool and linen); Laws of Tzniut (Jewish Modesty for women)) Being Tzanua (Modest according to Jewish Law) allows a woman to be appreciated for her inner beauty.

(cards for Shema, Food Blessings, Asher Yatzar, Tzniut are available in freebies section)

7. Pleasure with Meaning – Judaism Makes Soul Happy
People have an Idea that if you have pleasure you will be happy. If you don’t you will not. The obvious question is – according to that is alcoholics should be the happiest people. Or all the rich should be the happiest. This is not the case.

Judaism does not encourage asceticism. On the contrary, it proposes reaching the spiritual heights through happiness and enjoying the world. There are some pleasures that please the soul and others that depress it. Those that please it are usually associated with doing kindness and Mitzvot and the opposite are those that depress it.

The Real you is your soul. Thus becoming happier is much easier. Just do pleasures that please the soul. Those are easily found in the Torah.

8. Judaism and Kids
One of the greatest pleasures in life is up bringing kids. One of the greatest pains in life is upbringing kids. The pain contributes to the pleasure – like an athlete who trains thoroughly experiences more pleasure for victory than one that did not. Like it says in Pirkei Avot “According to the Pain is the Reward.”

Some say that they refrain from having children because they do not want it to impinge on their pleasure. It is a Mitzvah to Have Children. The principle is that the greater pain the greater pleasure. The greater pain in raising the children – the greater pleasure.

Following Judaism, there are many opportunities and responsibilities for children. In the end they grow up happier and more satisfied in Life. (like shown in the well-being survey.)

We also see this pleasure in effect, with people who are careful to provide “kosher” activities to children. Their scope of activities is more limited but in the end they gain.

If a person turned off his TV for a month and then started watching it again, he would realize the excessive violence and impropriety. Those who have avoided it for the sake of their kids (and themselves) gained much satisfaction (nachat) by being occupied with constructive and self-building activities.

9. Happier Kids & Parenting
A proof to the fact that children are happier observing Judaism and going to Jewish Day schools, is that 98% of children that attended a Jewish day school – married Jewish.

I believe that there is no salesman alive that convinces 98% of his prospects to buy his products.

Some reasons why statistics say the Torah observant received the highest happiness and well-being score.

Believe in Yourself and Feel Good about Yourself.

Walking down the street in Manhattan, I was immersed in thoughts. Con Edison – the electric company – doing work, barricaded the sidewalk. There were two barriers on the sidewalk, with a gap between them wide enough to walk through. I did not pay attention, so I walked through them.

The Con Edison Worker yelled “You See the Barriers and You Walk Right Through Them!”

This is one of the properties of being part of the Jewish Nation. We see the barriers, but with proper effort and Tephilah / Prayer, we walk right through them.

Everyday, Hash-m sends us messages. We have to be able to pick up on them. Doing so we blossom.

We have tremendous potential to do good. We just have to believe in ourselves.

This is what is meant in the Torah (Parasha / Weekly Torah Reading Lech Lecha) when Hash-m says to Abraham to count the stars and then says such will be your descendants. One explanation is that just like you attempt to do the impossible and succeed, so will your descendants. Click here for a short audio on the subject

Be Proud and Succeed.

What do you do?
A Natural Reaction is to become angry and shout “”Be careful! I told you no ball playing in the house!!”

Let’s Reframe.

Your priority in life is your family.

You have a job to support your family, not the other way around.

You work to help them have what they need to develop into the best people they can.

Your spout of anger will train them to follow your example.

So getting angry went against your priorities.

You can overcome it. Believe in yourself.

Here are Jewish Self-help links on anger management:

Article
Anger the inner teacher

Book
Anger the inner teacher – From Artscroll

Anger the inner teacher – From Amazon

Story
There is a story about how great our ancestors were in controlling themselves in
an Audio by Rabbi Akiva Tatz called Levels of the Spirit – Sins of the Great. One story he mentions about Rabbi Moshe Feinstein can inspire us to follow his example.