The Martial Arts – the ancient art of self-defense.

I am not well versed in martial arts.

I do know of various types – karate, tai-kwando, judo, Torah Dojo. Each one has their own philosophy defending oneself. Many use momentum of the enemy for defense or defeat.

Everyone has an enemy. This enemy seeks to destroy a person in this world and the next. He is well versed in the tactics of war, seduction and attack.

It is not a person. It is the enemy that is inside each and every one of us. Some call it – desire, lust, greed, hatred. The Torah calls it the evil inclination (Yetzer HaRah).

To counter balance it one also has a conscience. The Torah calls it – the good inclination (Yetzer HaTov).

As these two forces are constantly present in an individual – to balance their actions – at all times, most of the time a person has free choice to choose whether to do good or commit a transgression.

The Spirit of Folly

The Torah states that a person will only sin when a spirit of folly enters into him or her.

Meaning that a person will sin only when they are not thinking rationally.

An example. A man who is happily married with children. Little by little he develops emotional dependence towards his secretary. Developing the relationship with her causes strife in his house and in the end – divorce. Initially, desire doesn’t seem so bad. In the long term – it broke a happy household.

Or a person with a temper. He is the boss. His employee does something improper. Instead of speaking with them in a respectful manner – he blurts out his anger. He let off his steam, and maybe even got his point across to correct the situation – but he also caused his employee to be less motivated. The same applies to one’s family, one’s spouse, a friend, or one’s children.

Transgressing the Torah, one does bad to themselves many times more than to anyone else.

Transgression Prevention

So what is a person to do to prevent themselves from transgressing?

According to Torah each person has free choice at every moment.

Even when one is very angry he has the power to control himself – to make a rational decision.

To understand how to fight against the enemy – the evil inclination – we must understand its ways.

It uses many tactics to cause a person to transgress.

One of the tactics is found in Judo.

In Judo one uses the momentum and the force of someone coming towards you to your advantage – for instance to flip them.

The Evil Inclination does the same thing. When a person is in the momentum of being angry – it makes a suggestion – “hit your child”, “slap that person”, “use foul language.” Now you – have a choice – should I follow the suggestion of the evil inclination or not. You are in control at that moment.

Ways that the evil inclination causes a person to sin.

1. Chipping away at the person, little by little.

For instance it doesn’t tell a person to eat non-Kosher directly. It says “Why don’t you go to MacDonalds to relieve yourself.” – which is permitted. Then the next time at the time of one’s thirst, when passing by – “How about a coke?” Then the next time it says “Why not a coke?” And at the counter it suggests “Those fries look very delicious – why not get a small pack?” Afterwards “It say how about a fillet of fish.” Until it suggests to the person to eat a cheese-burger – which is not kosher.

2. When the person is in a state of pandemonium – it suggests a transgression. Like when the Jews thought Moses died – the Jews became emotional vulnerable. At that moment, the evil inclination suggested a the Jews to do the sin of the Golden Calf.

Tactics against the Evil Inclination

1. Remember you are in control. Know that you are in control has a calming effect. Use it in all situations. Don’t say “He made me so angry, that’s why I yelled,” – You are in control.

2. Make a fence – For instance – there are complete set of laws regarding how one is to conduct themselves with the opposite gender to prevent one from becoming emotionally attached or physically attracted. They are called the laws of Yichud / seclusion. It includes not being alone with a member of the opposite gender in a closed room, apartment or office. One can make boundaries between them and employees of the opposite gender to only call them by their family name – Like “Mr. Cohen” instead of their first name. One can avoid buying sodas at non-kosher restaurants, etc.

3. Play out situations in your mind. Sometimes a person gets angry or emotional when certain buttons are pushed.One should mentally play out a situation and imagine in a time of cool, what would be the most appropriate reaction.

4. Learn books of Mussar (Ethics) – that explain the dangers and pitfalls of bad reactions and the tremendous reward of acting with nobility.

5. Ask for help from others – whether it be advice or to help calm you at certain points.

6. Use delaying Tactics – I won’t get angry now, I will count to twenty and then I will state my point. I will not eat the food now , I will eat it in one hour.

7. Nip it in the bud – at times we recognize the suggestions of the evil inclination. They are suggestions placed in the mind – that go against morality or may even seem innocent. Once one recognizes it, one should disregard it and flee. Perhaps doing the opposite of the suggestion. A poor person asks you for a quarter. The evil inclination says “He is probably going to use it for alcohol. Don’t give it to him!” Recognizing that this is the evil inclination – you can counter by giving him the quarter with a big smile or giving him a dollar.

8. Know what Hash-m wants from you – and act accordingly. Sometimes one must take a step back and ask themselves – “How does Hash-m want me to act with this person.” This helps a person understand the proper perspective of how to act with others.

9. Love your fellow as yourself – place yourself in your fellow’s shoes. If you were in such a situation, how would you want to be treated? Speak softly and kindly – but state your point. Anything that can be said with anger can be said softly and be better accepted.

10. Pray – to Hash-m to help you overcome your trials and become a person that you want to be.

G-d gave us a beautiful world. He gave it to us to enjoy.

It is a Mitzvah to enjoy the pleasures G-d gave us – the delicious fruit, the awesome nature, relationships with people and more.

Unfortunately many people are hurt or offended by others and instead of getting over it, they dwell on the past, live with quarrel and chips on the shoulders. This puts a damper on the enjoyment one is to have.

In Pirkei Avot (4:21) it states about Removing Oneself from the World:

Rabbi Eliezer Hakefar says jealousy and desire and honor remove a person from the world.

Why is this?

One answer is : Because he does not live his own life and enjoy it – he lives his life based upon others and his satisfaction is dependent upon them.

The person who has jealousy is living his life based upon the what other people have. The possessions of others are controlling his life.

The Person who has desire is living life based upon the desire of others. Others are also controlling their life.

Honor seeking also puts control of one’s life in other people’s hands. One lives because of the honor that others provide.

So the person that pursues the above puts the control of their life in the hands of others.

People walk around with chips on the shoulder – this person did this to me. This person didn’t help me when I needed it. This person took away my job.

There are many ways to cope and get over the above.

1. Remember any thing that happens is from G-d. He only does good.
That that the person did it means that he was just a messenger. See the good in the situation.

For instance – let’s say you want to get a certain promotion at your company and you did not get it.
Before you are evaluated to receive it you should say to yourself:
If I get the promotion it is good – I will have more potential to help the company.
If I don’t get the promotion it is good – I will have more time to spend with my family.

In this way one will have a win-win situation.

If they get the thing they wanted – good.
If they don’t they will also be satisfied.

Usually one thinks – if I get A good. If they don’t they feed badly.
Using the win-win situation one will be happy in either case.

2. Try to reduce Jealousy, Honor Seeking and Desire.
This will eliminate also many disappointments in life.

3. Judge People favorably
Perhaps the boss did not give you a raise not because he felt you did not deserve it but because the company was having financial difficulty at that point. Or they did not recognize your true worth.

4. Focus your efforts on progressing not on dwelling on the past.
Many people get into the consumation game – they are consumed with a particular problem and they dwell on it. This makes them unproductive and greatly limits their potential. Instead one should look ot how they can realize their potential rather than putting others down.

5. Count your blessings.
One usually has much to be thankful for. Focus on the good you have rather than what you lack. Like it says in Pirkei Avot (4:1) about Being Wise, Rich and Honored
1. Ben Zoma says …Who is the rich person – one who is content with his lot as it says “If your hand arrives that you can eat – happy are you and it is good for you” (Tehillim 128:2) “happy” — in this world; “and it will be good for you” — in the next world.

6. See the Good in Others
One way is to 1. take a sheet of paper. 2. Write the name of the person that you have animosity towards. 3. list all their good qualities and good things they did for you. This will help you to see the person in more of an accurate light.

7. Feel for the Other Person
Perhaps the other person is living difficult times – that is why they acted in a way contrary to your expectations.

8. Live your life to please Hash-m Rather than to please others.
When one does the will of G-d, concern for what others think or do becomes more irrelevant. Your focus is to please G-d not to please others.

9. Be Noble
Usually it is the greater individual that forgives and forgets about the bad of others.

10. Know that G-d is happy when you live Peacefully with others
This will allow you to overlook slights against you.

11. Be Resilient
Kids Fight. Two minutes later they are playing again together. Learn from them.

These are some simple guidelines from the Torah that can vastly improve one’s outlook and enjoyment in life.

There is a discussion regarding doing the Mitzvot. Are the Mitzvot for the purpose of themselves – doing them are the purpose. Or are the purpose of doing the Mitzvot – to become a better person?

What is the difference?

Let’s take a person who is doing all the Mitzvot and learning Torah, but he or she is has a bad temper, embarrasses people, disrespects others and or has no mercy for their fellow. According to the first manner of looking at Mitzvot – that person is doing pretty well. According to the second view of Mitzvot – this person missed the boat.

So many people will say – OK so at least according to the second view I don’t have to perform the Mitzvot – I am already a good person and that is what really matters.

Although that might sound proper, let’s look at it on paper.

According to Torah – a person must achieve 3 things in life.

1) To observe the 613 commandments of the Torah for Jews or the 7 Noahide laws for Gentiles – which includes belief in the 13 principles of the Rambam

2) To become a good person as defined by the Torah

3) To achieve one’s purpose in life

Being a good person is just one aspect of life.

After one passes to the next world they will be shown 2 films – one of what their life was and one of what their would have been if they would have properly followed the Torah.

Regarding point 1 –
If the King asks you to take care of a particular task like making sure the palace is well kempt and the garden is taken care of – should one abstain?

Regarding 2 –
Sometimes a person thinks they are good, but they are not as good as they can be according to Torah. If a person can provide kindness to 100 people a day and he is only does to 5 people a day – sure that person is good but not as good as one can be.

Regarding 3 –
For a person to find and achieve one’s purpose in life – it is necessary to observe and learn Torah. Many times a rich person thinks that their accumulation of wealth is a proof of their achievement of purpose. But it is not the wealth in itself that will enable them to achieve it – it is the use of the wealth to provide kindness to the world – to help Torah scholars, to build Yeshivot, to help Jewish children receive a Torah education and so on…

In any case it – following the Torah provides one with meaning and purpose – which is many times lacking in people who disregard them completely.

Some books that help a person find purpose and help them in their quest of self-improvement – here are some Classic Jewish Self-Improvement Works:
Pirkei Avot – Ethics of the Fathers
Mesilat Yesharim – The Path of the Righteous – By Rabbi Haim Moshe Luzatto
Ahavat Chesed – Love of Kindness – the Chofetz Chaim

Proper Torah Outlook –
Mishne Torah / HaYad Hachazaka – Sefer HaMadah by the Rambam / Maimonides

I was at a wedding. I sat next to a nice man. He gave me a card.

It is based upon the teachings of the sefer – Orchot Tzadikim (I believe) The Path of the Righteous.

Here is what it says

7 Qualities Hash-m has to ensure our trust in Him:

1. Hash-m loves me.

2. Hash-m is with me wherever I am and is ready to help me.

3. Hash-m is stronger and smarter than anyone else in the universe and can devise ways of solving problems that seem impossible to solve.

4. Hash-m knows what is best for me, even better than I know.

5. Just as He has helped me various times in the past, He will now help me again.

6. No one can do anything to help me or harm me, besides Hash-m, who has full control over everything.

7. The master of the universe wants, and seeks to do chessed (kindness) more than the finest goodhearted and wonderful people in the universe

Once I spent a Yom Kippur in a Yeshiva in Israel. At the time of Ne’ilah (the Closing of Yom Kippur Service), the Talmidim (students) of the Yeshiva were so exhilarated they started dancing.

I didn’t understand why.

Someone explained that Yom Kippur is the day of the Atonement. It is a day that G-d looks at the record of a person and if the person feels badly – about the transgressions of the past and the Mitzvahs overlooked, he will have a clean slate. All of the transgressions of the past year against Him are forgiven.

I understood. The Talmidim realized that they can now start life clean and pure after this holy day of atonement.

The fasting of Yom Kippur is not only so that one can concentrate on repentance – but it enables us for one day to resemble an angel. Angels don’t eat. We don’t eat. Angels are light. We wear white. Angels are close to Hash-m. We are also close. Angels don’t have an “evil” inclination. On Kippur, we have no “evil” inclination.

The last several Yom Kippurs, I thought about that and it helped make the fast easier and Kippur more of a pleasure.

Some feel lighter afterwards because the fast helped them lose weight. I feel a little lighter because the burden of the transgression has been lifted off my back.

An opportunity to start anew.

Armand Koskas was seen on Sept 11 at about 10:30 am at 94th and Madison in Manhattan. He has Alzheimer and Answers to Armand or Mr. Koskas.

Please Pray that Armand Koskas / Shlomo be Rachel is in good health.

Thank G-d he was found.

We also thank the following for their efforts:

Manhattan Sephardic Congregation

NYC Police Department

Shomrim

and all the others who helped or just even had a thought to wish he was found safely.

Thank You for your prayers and good wishes.

Shomrim is an organization that helps assure Safety in Brooklyn and the NYC area – for more info call – 718-330-2536

I found a folded piece of letter-sized paper…

Here is what it says:

How to Pray

Our Holy Rebbe taught
Pray
As if you were in the middle
of the sea,
Stormy Waves towering above you
angrily.
Pray
As if you were
Hanging there
By the merest hair.

Because
Dear friend,
You are.

—
🙂
Emoticon – mine.
I believe it was said by Rabbi Nachman from Breslev

Here is a link of Rabbi Nachman’s Teachings

A Good refresher course before Yom Kippur.

Gmar Hatima Tova.

We at Ohr Binyamin and Jerusalem life wish all our readers a sweet and healthy year. A year full of purpose, good tidings, and Torah and Mitzvot.

Rosh HaShana is to take an inventory of who we are and how we can better ourselves and better the world.

Yom Kippur is a chance to connect with the Creator by voiding ourselves from physical needs – to emulate the angels. We thus can concentrate on bettering our relationship with the One who said ‘Let there be Light’.

Here are some good resolutions:
1. Be More open-minded or active about receiving a Torah education
2. Do a Good Deed every day.
3. Learn about a new mitzvah daily.
4. Read stories about Judaism.
5. Start attending a Torah lecture at an Orthodox synagogue
6. Learn or refresh your Hebrew
7. Take five minutes a day to learn Torah.

Happiness.

Accessible to the Common Man?

Judaism says: Of course.

To find happiness we have to ask ourselves : What makes a person happy? and how come many are not?

Pleasure that establishes a closer relationship with Hash-m (G-d)
There is some truth to the following statement,

Pleasure brings happiness.

But it must be qualified:

1. Pleasures that bring a person to a richer relationship with Hash-m brings happiness. Those that distance a person from Hash-m do the opposite.

Many people have all the money they need. They have access to all the pleasures in the world, but still feel a lack in their lives. Apparently it is the lack of spirituality in their lives.

One reason people go on vacation to distant places is unconsciously they search for spirituality.

Having a positive spiritual relation with Hash-m will uplift a person – in the short-term and long-term. A person finds happiness when he or she is spiritually connected to the source of all good – Hash-m.

There are many proofs to this.

I have a friend in Florida – a retired salesperson. Just like many, he went to enjoy the rest of his days. Today he lives his life doing Bikur Holiom – Visiting the Infirm. He tells them Jokes, offers his help and uplifts their spirits. Although he is doing much for them, they are also doing good for him. For when he does acts of kindness he receives purposeful living.

Ask yourself – What makes me happy?

Note the commonalities between all of those activities. Taking care of the children – this is doing act of kindness. Having guests over – kindness. Helping others – kindness. Apparently everything that makes a person happy – there is a Mitzvah involvement. Some people think that it is the activity that makes the person happy. In a sense it’s true – the reason being is because the activity involves doing a mitzvah.

What are the things that bring a person closer to Hash-m?

Four things help a Jewish person to become closer to Hash-m – observing the 613 commandments, learning Torah, doing kindness and achieving one’s purpose in life.

Gentiles have a similar four but their list entails following the 7 Noahide Commanments for all humanity, learning Torah applicable to them, doing kindness and achieving purpose in life.

2. Be happy with what you have. Don’t compare. You have what you need.

In Pirkei Avot (4:1) it says “Who is Wealthy? – One who is content with his lot.”

One reason why people are not happy because they reflect upon what if, only if or what they don’t have.

What If?
What if – this happens or that happens?

Don’t Worry. Be Happy
To that the Torah says – Don’t worry.

Don’t worry about the past, because it has already passed.
Don’t worry about the Future – because you never know what will happen.
Don’t worry about the present because it passes in the blink of an eye.

A person’s imagination drives them to illusions that in the end cause them sadness. Think positive.

What I don’t have
A person will overlook all the blessings they have and look at what they lack. They look at what others have and what they don’t have. Really it should be the opposite – they should look at what others don’t have and what they do have.

Seeing What others don’t have – you can feel you better about what you have and you can do kindness to them to help them with what they lack.

Appreciating what you do have – allows you a life appreciating your blessings. A good exercise is to take a piece of paper. List all the good things you have in life. Post it in front of you. All these things are things to be happy for. All these things one can be grateful to provider of them all – Hash-m.

Hash-m gives you what you need. If you don’t have it, it means you likely don’t need it now. Would you be jealous of an Air Force Pilot that has a F-16 jet? No. Because you don’t need it.

Only If
“If I only had a million dollars, I would be happy.” “If I had this car, I would be happy.” These are statements that one makes in their mind that has negative repercussions. One is always looking to the future for happiness. But even if they get what they want, it will not necessarily lead to their happiness.

Be Happy Now. Let go of all those dependencies.

3. Don’t make your happiness dependent on some one or something else – i.e., once I will have this I will be happy

A person sometimes looks to others for attention, honor, help or other things. When they don’t receive it they become upset.

The Torah teaches that one should not become emotional because of someone else does not act they way or do what you expect them to. If you are calm you control the situation. If you are not the situation controls you. Be in Control.

4. Educate yourself and get in touch with your true self by learning Torah

Learning Torah allows you to enjoy more of a satisfying relationship with G-d and others.

Jews have many aspects of Torah they can learn. It is recommended for beginners to learn the Humash / 5 Books of Moses or Tanach – Torah, Neviim (prophets) and Ketuvim (Writings). (Recommended : The Artscroll Humash / 5 Books of Moses)

Establish a daily learning time. Even 5 minutes a day. (The links section has sites that will hook you up with a learning partner)

Gentiles can learn about their 7 Noahide Commandments.

5. G-d is Good

G-d is Good. He does the best for you. Knowing this, one can overcome many obstacles. When he or she does encounter an obstacle – it could mean you have to make more of an effort or that it is not in your best interest to receive that which you are vying for.

6. Prayer is available.

When you pray to Hash-m, things you thought were impossible become possible. Of course, you should also make the proper effort.

7. Achieving Your Purpose.

Sometimes a person does what they can in terms of Mitzvah Observance – but still feel may a lack.

Why?

The Torah says that a person is brought to the world to achieve a particular purpose. To Find One’s purpose one must investigate their strengths and use them to do what they can to help the world by doing something that is congruent with Torah.

8. Know You are Special

In the history of the world, there never was or will be someone exactly like you. You have special abilities, talents and strengths that make you special. Focus on improving yourself and developing your own talents. Don’t think about bringing others down – bring yourself up.

Sometimes one feels down for the past. One can always start over. (Click here for Article) Regardless a person should recognize they are created in the “image” of G-d. Just that makes you special

Knowing your special attributes can help you contribute much for the good of the the world. Using them, you achieve your purpose.

—

A Free Card is a available on the Subject. The “You are Special Card.”