What are the benefits of living an “Orthodox” Jewish lifestyle?

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Someone asked a question on another site. I was tempted to answer it. The question:

What are the benefits of living an “Ultra-Orthodox” lifestyle?

Here is the way I would answer.

G-d created man with a soul and a body. The soul is the essence of the person. When the soul is happy the person is happy. Torah is what gives happiness to the soul. The Torah in essence guides you through its laws to be your true self.

When you are your true self – you are truly happy. No trying to imitate the stars. No trying to catch up with the Jones.

[Orthodox] Judaism gives a person a fulfilling life that satisfies the soul of a person. Thus a person is in touch with himself and ultimately finds true happiness. A Gallup poll presented a survey recently that showed that those that follow Torah are happiest out of all other groups in America. They live a fulfilling life, a family life a life with a close knit community. Torah is the only – divine document in which millions of people heard G-d speaking at mount Sinai. Torah is not religion. Torah is Life.

There are four questions  that a person can ask to find the veracity of Torah and find out what G-d wants from you. Jews & Gentiles can observe Torah. Gentiles Observe the 7 Noahide Laws.  Jews Observe the 10 commandments & Shulchan Aruch. Those who follow Torah have a life that G-d / Hash-m is center of their lives and thus they live a life of meaning and purpose.

As to the difficulty of finding a Job for lack of marketable skills – G-d helps in that domain as well.

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Note:

Personally, I do not regard by the man-made terminologies of “Orthodox, Reform, Conservative..” . When a baby is born he or she is not “Orthodox” or “Conservative.”  They are considered Jewish if their mother is Jewish. Judaism is also clearly defined by the Torah – by looking what it says in the Shulchan Aruch by Rav Yosef Caro. It defines very clearly, what is expected of each Jew. As for what is expected of every Gentile see the Rambam – Mishne Torah (Hilchot Melachim, ch 9-10). As an aside – In chapter 11 it also explains the requirements for a person to be the Messiah.

Renewing Yourself Monthly

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In Parasha haHodesh (Shemot /Exodus 12:1-20) that we read this week – we find “This shall be head of month…”. Hodesh is month in Hebrew.  It can also be read Hadash – NEW.

Every month we have a chance to Renew ourselves and  our commitment to Hashem and mitzvot.  Each month [& day] G.d gives us a new opportunity for self improvement. Thus some do Yom Kippur Katan / Mini-Yom Kippur Erev Rosh Hodesh / Beginning of Hebrew Month.

You are Here to Serve Me – What is Right & Wrong?

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When a Child is born, he or she is so cute and cuddly.

You get a new addiction. Addiction to the baby.

The baby cannot do much for himself.

He cannot get food. Cannot move from one place to another. Relies on you to burp him and change diapers.

Basically, your role as a parent is to serve the baby.

Some think they received a new toy, but really they should ask who is really the “master” and who is there to serve?

It is an existential question “Are we the master of our tools or are our tools our master?” A good example is a cell phone. But that’s not the subject.

To truly realize what our role is – we the a look at the Torah.

The Torah gives a commandment for children to Honor their parents.

Our obligation to honor our parents – which means basically to do their will (obviously as long as it does not contradict the laws of the Torah) – teaches us the tremendous gratitude due to our parents.

As much as it teaches us our obligations towards our parents, it also teaches us our great gratitude due to Hash-m. Hash-m / G-d brought us into the world, gives us life, gives us ear to breath, water, clothes, a job, money, a house, a car, everything.

So what does a person do – “I want my child to get the best secular education.” Good. Very Good. But what about morality. What about Torah values?

“I want to let them choose.” The problem is is that children learn most of their values by the time they are three. If you are watching sports – and your neighbor is having a Shabbat Meal with the family – Your child will learn the value of sports. His child will learn the value of Shabbat, family and respect of G-d – doing the Shabbat is one of the 10 commandments for Jews (Gentiles do not observe the Sabbath – according to the 7 Noahide laws.) If you talk politics all day long – your child will learn to be a politician. If you teach them to be kind to all people they will learn to be tolerant. If you teach them to accept the VALUES of all all people – they will learn to be degenerate. Some people’s values are to be cannibles or to do human sacrifices or to do terrorist acts.

People should respect people. But their values should be clear – of what is acceptable and what is not. What is right and wrong? Only G-d Knows.

That’s why He gave us a Torah to teach us proper values. The Torah is the only divinely given law that millions of people witnessed its giving. When the Jews received the Torah at Mount Sinai.

The first one to serve is G-d / Hash-m. Then Yourself. Or others. Do this and you will be happy.

The Hidden Killer Within – Jealousy

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Jealous people. What do they want from me?

Jealousy and many emotional problems – start from one source. Low self-esteem. I want to have what another has – because I want a life like the other people.

OK. But it doesn’t mean you have to put the others down. Or make the other’s life miserable. Uplift yourself. Try to feel good about yourself. Don’t bring others down. Bring yourself up.

Jealousy rots the bones.

A Jealous person’s life is not life. It says it straight in Pirkei Avot:

Jealousy, [pursuit of] desires and honor – remove a person from the world.

Apparently a person who lives with any of the three – will end up living their lives based upon others. Their happiness is in the hands of others. It is a dependent happiness. It is not an independent happiness. Others control their life.

But there is another death that occurs with Jealousy. A person, instead of trying to be the best they can be – in terms of improving their character traits and relations between people and G-d – they get caught in the one-upsman game. I have this. You only have that? Creating quarrels but not doing good to the world or themselves. They use their life to seek approval – but don’t accomplish their potential – what greater death is there than that of Killing their potential or creativity or Torah development for silly quarrels?

Be happy with what you have. Be happy with yourself. Improve Yourself. Don’t put down others. Make yourself better. And be happy with who you are.

One reason why people are unhappy – is because a person is composed of a soul and a body. A body has no desires. It is a physical object that is being given life by a soul provided by Hash-m.

The soul is comprised of several souls. There is a soul that is more geared towards – materialism. And other souls that are more spiritual in nature.

If a person feels depressed, it might be a sign that they need to uplift their soul – with more spiritual pursuits. Like to do kindness and follow Torah.

The best place to start is to learn the Noahide laws for a Gentile or to learn the Shulchan Aruch / Code of Jewish law for Jews.

Lifting up your soul – will lift up your morale and you will not seek approval from others – but rather seek approval from Hash-m / G-d.

D’var Torah on Ki Tisa

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In parasha Ki Tisa (in Shemot / Exodus) it says

When you count the heads of the children of Israel  .. and you shall give an atonement for your souls & there will not be a plague…”  We do not count Jews by a having a headcount. Each gives Half a shekel and they are counted,  in order not to have a plague.  When one counts,  one limits the Berakha.

Another explanation is: The word for count is Tisa, which also means to uplift. When a person uplifts himself and other people by him growing & helping others to grow in Mitzvot, Torah study and giving tzedaka,  he prevents plagues and other bad things from happening in the first place.

The Chofetz Chaim was asked to donate a fixed price for each bed in new a hospital.  He said he would give a large number. They asked how could he afford that.  He replied by me studying Torah,  there will not need that amount of beds – for people will not become ill. 

Venatenu – in Hebrew for “and you shall give” can be read the same way frontwards and backwards.  A person who gives to a proper Torah charity will receive the money back – usually many times more.*

Using Happiness to Eclipse Problems

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A person has much to be thankful for. Regardless of what situation a person is in – and I am not judging those in pain – one can find at least one thing for which to be thankful – that they are alive. We create the reality that we are living by our attitude.

You have a “Poor Me” attitude – you will be sad. You have a “Thank G-d” attitude, you will be happy.

But some things annoy us in life. We all pass difficulties. I recently received a ticket. Yes, upsetting. But deep down I knew G-d had a reason. A reason for my best interest. So I felt a bit consoled.

Here is story I heard recently from the book “Living Emunah 2” – By Rabbi David Ashear. (p 168-170)

Once a person took upon himself a stringency to be careful not to sit next to a person of the opposite gender in a plane – to avoid temptation and bad thoughts. He got on to the airport early – to assure that the ticketing agent would book him next to a man. On the plane he realized that his seat was next to a woman.

He asked the stewardess if he could change his seat. She didn’t want to bother – so she told him “I am sorry that is impossible. If you do not stay in your seat, you will have to leave the plane and your baggages will not be removed from this plane and you will have to purchase another ticket.”

He responded calmly – “Ok. I guess I’ll get off the plane.” A bystander got up and said – “This person will not leave the plane! If he gets off I will get off! And I will take my baggages with me. I will make you go through all the baggages to get my baggages off the plane! You will be delayed until you find them!” The stewardess backed down from her “Don’t bother me” attitude. It took her a couple minutes to arrange seating that would accommodate the man.

After the flight the Jewish man went over to the other man. “I want to thank you for standing up for me. I Appreciate your effort.” The man responded “No problem. Really, I didn’t do it for you. I did it for me.”

He told him the following story –

 

“I have a friend. He was driving a Jewish passenger in his relatively new Taxi cab – he was an observant Jew. The car stalled and he wasn’t able to restart it. He assured the passenger that he’d be able to get him to the airport on time. He started tinkering with engine – He thought it was a minor problem. Finally when he realized time was short, he flagged down another cab for the passenger and they both got into the cab to London Heathrow Airport. They rushed to the gate. My friend pleaded with the gate attendants to let him on. They declined “Sorry – too late.”

He booked another flight and the cabbie went back to his cab. Surprisingly the taxi started immediately upon ignition. A few hours later they heard the news that the flight he was to take – exploded and all the passengers were killed. This was Pan Am flight 103, which was blown up over Lockerbie, England by a terrorist attack.

“From that story I realized that your G-d protects His people.” The man said. “So when I saw you boarding this flight I felt good, knowing everything would be Okay. But when I saw you were getting off, I got very scared and decided if you are leaving, I’m leaving too.”

A parent sometimes scolds a child. Sometimes he may even hit him. But the child understands that it is for the good – and although the scolding may hurt he understands that it is for his best interest.

When one’s child walks into the room – he can think “ok. what does he want now.” or “wow how great is G-d for giving me a child.” When he walks into his house he can think “I hope dinner is ready.” or “Wow. What a blessing G-d has given me such a house.” When he walks to the subway he can think “It’s so cold out” or “Wow. G-d is kind for giving me the ability to walk.”

If we were to look at all the blessings we have at the time we are annoyed or upset, we would let it slide. Our happiness would eclipse our sadness. Our happiness would eclipse our difficulties – especially knowing that G-d is a good G-d that will do the best for you.

Keep Smiling! You’re Alive!

God Will Open Doors for You

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It was a windy day. I was walking down the alley to enter a building. The Door swung open, I walked right in. The Door closed. No – it wasn’t an automatic door – the wind blew it open.

I attended a fund raising seminar given by Rabbi and Executive Director of Aish HaTorah, New York – Rabbi Yitzi Greenman. Once he was in the office of a wealthy individual. The man said to him – “Okay Rabbi what do you want? How much Ten-Thousand? a Hundred Thousand?” The rabbi responded – “I don’t want your money.” The rich man was surprised. “You came here to raise money. So what do you really want?” The rabbi responded “I want you. If I have you, you will give me the money that I need for my organization.”

Many people in the world have problems. Others seem to be blessed by God. Even though they do not have a large combined salary – make ends meet. Their children are successful and respectful. Their prayers are answered. They lead a happy life.

What’s the difference between these types of people?

The simple answer is found in parasha / Torah Reading of Teruma. It says there (Shemot / Exodus 25:2) – “And you shall take for Me a portion…” God tells Moses to ask the Jewish people who give a donation for the Tabernacle – where the Divine Presence rested. Instead of saying “Give Me a portion” it Says “Take for Me.” In the Hebrew it can be read as “Take Me.” And end of the verse it states “Take My Portion.” Apparently one who “acquires” Hash-m / G-d, G-d Will do the bidding of that person.

It says in Ethics of the Fathers / Pirkei Avot chapter 2:4 regarding – Doing the Will of Hash·m:

He (Rabban Gamliel) used to say, make His [G·d’s / Hash·m’s] will as your will in order that He will make your will as His will. Nullify your will before His will in order that He will nullify the will of others because of your will.

How does one “acquire” Hash-m / G-d? It states the answer further on in the parasha – “You shall make Me a sanctuary and I will dwell among you.” (Shemot / Exodus 25:8) If one makes his house or himself into a “sanctuary” – a place of purity, a place where Torah is the foundation, a place where the family observes Shabbat together – one will be able to “acquire” G-d. If one acquires G-d, G-d opens up his unlimited bank account of blessing to that person.

What are the foundations of the Torah? For Jews – it is observing the code of Jewish law / Shulchan Aruch. For Gentiles it is observing the Seven Noahide laws from the Torah.

It is also acquired by following Daat Torah / Torah philosophy. One has an important question, one asks the opinion a great Torah sage. Doing so he or she attaches him or her self to the Torah and thus to God.

If one has a question of which school should one place their children – a Public School or a Torah Day School; whether a potential mate would make a good marriage partner; which community is good for a Jewish family to live – consulting a great Torah scholar is in Order. They will lead you to the right direction – and to ultimately a happy life.

Pray for truth
Once an African American Lady had an appointment with my friend – an Optometrist. She exclaimed happily that she was following the Seven Noahide laws from the Torah. He asked her what made her take that decision? She replied – her former “god” did not answer her prayers. When she prayed to Hash-m / G-d of the Jewish People, He would answer. That’s when she decided to follow the Seven Noahide laws from the Torah.

Wisdom of a Torah Sage – The Key to a Happy Marriage
Once a couple came to Rabbi Aryeh Levine – The Tzadik of Jerusalem. They explained they were having difficulties in their marriage and they wanted to divorce according to Jewish law. He told them to come back in three months and then he would be able to issue a Get / Jewish Divorce Document. Before they left, he asked them their names. The husband responded – his name is Avraham and her name, Hanna. Rabbi Levine said to the husband – do Me a favor – for the next three months instead of a calling your wife Hanna, call her “Hanna’le” (An endearing term – equivalent to Hanna, my Dear.) Three months passed and the couple never came back.

Apparently – the wife received the appreciation she sought and the man – could not get angry if he had to call his wife Hanna’le (Hanna, my dear).

The wisdom of a Torah sage – saved a marriage with one small piece of advice.

When Friends Forget Friends or Buddies Become Bitter

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Remember the good old days. You used to go out with your friend regularly. You had good times and bad together.

They are still a friend on social media. You bump into them sometimes. “Wow. It’s so good to see you! We have to stay in touch. Let’s get together sometimes!”

But you call them at the office the secretary says: “Let me check if they’re here. I think I saw him in the office…” Pause. “Oh, I’m sorry he’s in a meeting right now. Would you like to leave a message?”

No returned phone calls. No response to texts.

“I hope he’s still alive” – You think.

Calling his cell phone it goes immediately to answering service.

Yes, you grew apart over the years. He went his way and you went your way.

Perhaps you became more Torah observant.

What do you do?

I believe a true friend is a friend forever. They are there for you when you are in need and not in need.

A good friend will answer your phone calls regardless if they are busy. They will return your phone calls. Answering phone calls of people you know – I feel is common courtesy. Even more so friends.

Making Peace
If you left things off on bad terms – make peace. If you left on good terms & if the relationship is worthwhile – so try to patch things up. Speak with a third friend to be an intermediary. Visit them when they have a good occasion or a Shiva / 7 days of mourning. Send them Shanna Tova Cards and Jewish Holiday Cards.

Don’t give up. Because they are not friendly – doesn’t mean you should do the same.

Life Goes On
In any case – life goes on.

Your main concern in life should be your own family and taking care of their material, emotional and spiritual needs. Help them to Grow in Torah in Mitzvot.

Gain pleasure from their growth.

Should you become bitter yourself because they don’t answer you? Sorry – Not worth the mental anguish. Make new friends – those that care for you materially, emotionally and spiritually. People that will help you grow in Torah.

And your old friends – pray to Hash-m for their best. At least when you were younger you had a good time with them – and that’s a reason to be still thankful to them – regardless of how they act now.

Look at the good. Be thankful to Hash-m for what you have. Be thankful for your current friends, for your family and your Jewish community. If old friends answer you good. If not – you become a better person by not becoming bitter.

Don’t become bitter – based upon the actions or reactions of people.

Change Rejection – to a Positive Outcome
I needed change for the meter the other day. I asked people on the street for change for a dollar. Most people said “Sorry. I have no change.”

Just like that “rejection” of giving change is not a reason to become upset or evaluate myself negatively – perhaps they really didn’t have change – an old friend who refuses to communicate with you is not a reason to become upset or evaluate yourself negatively – perhaps they don’t realize the value of being in contact with you. Usually it is their loss.

Perhaps one day they will need you and you will respond kindly, without resentment. Without a grudge. They will realize the folly of their giving you the cold shoulder.

Love Your Fellow Jew
The Torah says to love your fellow Jew. Like it says “Ve’ahavta Le’reacha Kamocha” – Love your fellow as yourself (Vayikra / Leviticus 19:18).

Live according to Torah ideals – in which your actions are guided by what Hash-m / G-d thinks of you rather than what others think of you.

G-d wants you to love His children. Your love ultimately makes you a better person.

The Two Things You Need to Know Before Buying a Car

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I’m in the market for a car. My last one was smashed up. Gam Zu le Tova. Even this is for the best.

I once wanted to find a car that runs on water. But I didn’t find any dealers.

So the next best thing I thought, was to get one that runs on ethanol. The gas is much cheaper. But some say that the lower price is a compensation for lower gas mileage.

But then I thought of another issue that is much more important than gas mileage.

You’re probably asking – “a Car?”

“What does that have to do with Judaism?”

Obviously you don’t want to be ostentatious. A modest car will do.

But the Torah says “Guard Very Much Your Souls.” (Devarim / Deut. 4:15)

Meaning be careful to be prudent to stay safe.

Stand far from rails in the subway. Don’t drive too fast. If tired driving take a break. Don’t talk or text on cell while driving…

The list goes on. Teach it to your children. (We offer a Free Health & Safety Coloring Book)

Many people spend time in cars – thus it make sense to make sure it is safe.

Safety aspects to consider are – airbags, side and front collision strength, etc.

Two websites that will let you know about the safety ratings of a vehicle is –

National Highway Traffic Safety Administration

Insurance Institute for Highway Safety, Highway Loss Data Institute

Remember to purchase safe carseats before taking children.

The Second thing is to consider is what kind of kindness will you primarily be doing – to decide what kind of car you need. If it is to bring your kids to school – a mini-van or SUV might be in order. If it is to drive your mother around – consider a car that is easy to enter and exit. If you need to drive a handicapped person – find one that can accommodate a wheelchair.

Other Helpful websites when buying a car include:
J.D. Power – Car Ratings
Consumer Reports – they offer car-info with a paid subscription
Edmonds
Kelley Blue Book
Cars.com

Evaluate Your Safety

Ask Yourself are you a safe driver. Do People feel assured when driving with you?

Signs it is time to Drive More safely
or do they rush to get out of the car when you stop. Are they constantly telling you to slow down? Do dark haired people come out with white hair after a ride with you? Do your emotions control your speed? Do you text or hold phone while driving? Do you surf web? Do you program GPS in middle of route? Better to talk to GPS than to type. Do you enforce seat belts for people riding in car?

We pray not to get into accidents. We even have a special Jewish Traveler’s Prayer to arrive at our destination safely.

Prudence starts with the type of car. A SUV is usually safer than a compact car. Each time a person drives it is prudent to assure passengers always wear seat belts – even in back seats. Children should always be buckled before driving.

Better [to get there] late than never.

Drive Safely.

Bringing Up Children with Self Worth – Rehabilitating a Jewish Thief

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In parasha / Torah Reading Mishpatim we learn

“When you acquire a Hebrew servant, six years he shall work and in the Seventh Year he shall go free…”

This is one of the first Commandments that the Jews receive after leaving Egypt.

It talks about a servant that was sold because he stole and couldn’t pay back the money of the object he stole.

The master is to treat him like a member of the family. If he has one pillow he gives it to the servant. If he has one bed he gives the bed to the servant. This is the way that we rehabilitate a Jewish Thief into society. We build up his self worth so that he recognizes his great value and will not stoop to stealing in the future.

The same is true with children. We teach them to self worth so that they will not fall prey to a low self-esteem and to crime or other vices.