The Power of Compliments

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In Parasha Matot – G-d Tells Moshe / Moses to take vengeance on the Midianites. Moshe sends Pinhas. Why did Moshe not do it himself? Moshe had gratitude towards Midian. He took refuge there when he ran away from Egypt.

Many a time we have an opportunity to express gratitude.

A man once came home – he found his wife happy. He asked – why are you smiling. She said – their son came home and he did very well on the Mishna test. He told her it was he meatballs that she prepared yesterday that gave him strength to study and remember the material.

That compliment made her happy. He thought if that’s the power of a compliment – he will try to give more compliments. The man went back to his Kollel / Torah study group – and he gave the Rosh Kollel a compliment. “Thank you for the 13 yeas I have been here. You provide the Gemaras / Talmud books, the Shtenders / Learning stands,  and the coffee.

Some time later – he met the Rosh Kollel in the market. He said to him – I want to thank you. I was thinking of closing the Kollel due to lack of funding – and because of Your compliment I thought – “You know – I really did good to the community by opening the Kollel. Many people learned Torah. Perhaps I will try to continue it. In a several days I was motivated – & I raised the funds and I raised the yearly budget.”

The Power of a compliments

Use Sweet Words

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A sweet talker – in common vernacular – is someone with an assured and ingratiating manner. they are called a charmer or a flatterer. A person who professes beliefs and opinions that he or she does not hold in order to conceal his or her real feelings or motives

The Three Weeks – Between the Difficulties

The Three Weeks between the 17th of Tammuz and the 9th of Av is a difficult period for the Jews and the world. This is the period when the Babylonians & the Romans attacked and destroyed the First and Second Beit Hamikdash / Holy Temple in Jerusalem – respectively.

Origin of Difficult Period

This period of difficulty was initiated in the Hebrew Year 2448 when the Spies – in the Dessert at the time of Moshe Rabbeinu / Moses Our Teacher –  return from 40 days in Israel with evil reports of the Land of Israel. Jewish people cry in despair, give up hope of entering the Land of Israel. G-d says to them since you cried in vain I will give you a reason to cry.

Build Your Faith in Hash-m & Yourself to Overcome Suffering

It started with a lack of faith in Hash-m / G-d and a lack of faith in themselves. To truely fix a problem, we go to the source – we solve the causes – not the symptoms. The problem to fix “Faith in Ourselves and Faith in Hash-m”

The Sweet Soul

My cousin – a sweet young soul – passed away at the tender age of 28 – right before this 3 week period of difficulty. He talked sweet – but was not a sweet talker. He was sincere, shy and kind. He was careful about his words – he used words that would not hurt, vex, sadden or offend people.

Rabbi [Yehuda HaNasi / Judah the Prince] made a feast for his students, and brought before them tender tongues and tough tongues. They began to choose for themselves the tender tongues and left alone the tough tongues. He said to them, “Know what you are doing! Just as you are choosing the tender [tongues] and leaving alone the tough ones, so shall your own tongues be with one another. Therefor Moshe warned Israel, ‘and when you sell goods… [you shall not wrong one another]’
Vayikra Rabbah 33

Emmanuel – my cousin – “could not say no.” he was so sensitive to people’s feelings he didn’t want to make them feel badly by insinuating rejection of a request.

Lift People Up

We can learn from Emmanuel Issachar to lift up people. Any person you meet – Don’t spare kind words. Don’t spare your smile. Lift them up. Lift yourself up & you can better lift others up. Lift up others with you.

 

Goodness of a Good Tongue & Vice Versa

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“And Hash-m said to Moshe… ‘When you sell goods to your people [you shall not wrong one another]’ (Leviticus 25:1-14).” Another verse: “Life and death and in the hand of the tongue”… Rabbi Shimon ben Gamliel said to Tavi his servant, “go purchase for me the best food from the market.” He went and bought for him a tongue. He said to him “go purchase for me the worse food from the market.” He went out and bought him a tongue. He said to him, “What is this? When I say to you to the best food, you buy me a tongue, and when I say to you the worst food, you [also] buy me tongue!” [Tavi] said to him, this is the best and this is the worst! When it is good, there is none better than it, and when it is bad, there is no worse than it.”

  • Vayikra Rabbah 33

Speak nicely to your family & friends.

Mazal Tov! Does Judaism Believe in Astrology or The Real Months of the Zodiac

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Strive for Truth

I Overheard the Rabbi in synagogue teaching “Michtav MeEliyahu.” In English it is Called “Strive for Truth.” A Sefer / book by Rabbi Eliyahu Dessler. He was talking about the influence of the Jewish Months.

The Time Spiral

Time in Judaism is not a straight line – it is a spiral. Imagine a spiral. in the middle is the beginning of time. Each complete single spiral represents the Jewish year. Draw a circle around the spiral. Make 12 slices – as you would in a pizza (instead of 8 slices – 12 slices). Each slice has a particular influence in the world. Each slice is a Jewish Month. Each Slice represents a particular influence on the world. As the spiral goes outwards we grow.

The True Astrology

He asked “Why do the Zodiac signs – start in almost the middle of secular calendar months? He  mentioned that really Astrology / the Zodiac signs correspond to Jewish months – which are months based upon the moon – a lunar calendar adjusted to the Solar Calendar.

Jewish Months & their Influence

Mazal is the astrological influence.  Adar (Pisces – the sign of fish) – the month of Purim – has good Mazal for the Jews. Haman thought he could persecute the Jews in that month – because he thought Jews would be occupied eating – because fish eat other fish. Nissan – the Jewish Month when the Jews were freed from Egypt – has an influence of freedom in it. The Purity of the Young Girl – Virgo – is the Month of Elul – when the Jews do teshuva (repent) for their transgressions. It  is the Month before Tishrei. Tishrei – the month of Rosh HaShana – is when the people of the world are judged. Thus the sign for Tishrei is the Balance scale because it represents judgement. The Flood of Noah occurred in Cheshvan – the sign of scorpion – because scorpions are water resistant creatures. (Rokeach Bereshit 7:6-13)

There is an excellent set of Sefarim / Jewish Books called – “The Midrash Says” – which explains the stories of the Torah. Their Passover “Little Midrash Says Haggada” (p.97) – has a list of the Mazalot. It explains that when the sun is found in a particular area of the sky where a pattern of stars is found – that has an influence over events. Hash-m causes the monthly Mazal to influence events in the world. The Egyptians picked up on this and worshiped that constellation. Hash-m told the Jews to sacrifice the lambs – as a test of their faith – in the month when the lamb constellation was strong – Nissan – to show to the world that it is only Hash-m / G-d who has power over the Mazal. Nissan is the Month of Passover.

Jews are above the Mazalot. Meaning with prayer and actions they can change what may be destined for them.

Chart of Jewish Zodiac

Hebrew

Name

 Transliteration English

Name

 Description Hebrew Month Hebrew Month Stars in the Constellation Dates of Sun’s Presence

טָלֶה

 Taleh Aries “ram/sheep”

נִיסָן

 Nissan March 21 – April 20

שׁוֹר

 Shor Taurus “bull/cow”

אִיְּיַר

 Iyar April 21 – May 21

תְּאוֹמִים

 T’omim Gemini “twins”

סִיוָן

 Sivan May 22 –

June 23

סַרְטָן

 Sartan Cancer “crab”

תַּמּוּז

 Tamuz June 23 – July 22

אַרְיֵה

 Aryeh Leo “lion”

אָב

 Av July 23 –

August 23

בְּתוּלָה

 Virgo “virgin”

אֶלוּל

 Elul August 24 -September 22

מֹאזְנַיִם

 Moaznayim Libra “scale”

תִּשְׁרֵי

 Tishrei September 23 –

October 23

עַקְרָב

 Akrav Scorpio “scorpion”

חֶשְׁוָן–

 Cheshvan October 24 – November 22

קֶשֶׁת

 Keshet Sagittarius “bow”

כִּסְלֵו

 Kislev November 23 – December 21

גְּדִי

 G’di Capricorn “horned goat”

טֵבֵת

 Tevet December 22 – January 19

דְּלִי

 D’li Aquarius “water bucket”

שְׁבָט

 Shevat January 20 – February 18

דָּגִים

 Dagim Pisces “fish”

אַדָּר

 Adar February 19 – March 20

 

If a person wants to look into their Astrology information – it is better to go to a person who follows Torah – who is knowledgeable in the matter. Some horoscopes are just made up by newspaper writers and people who are not versed in true Astrology. A person should also seek what is the Jewish law before consulting astrology, fortune tellers, hand readers, etc. – because fortune telling, soothsaying, magic, witchcraft, etc is forbidden by Torah for Jews & Non-Jews – according to the 7 Noahide laws of the Torah for all people of the world.

Lift Yourself & Others Up

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Ok. I ended the title with a preposition – “UP”. In grammar you’re allowed – but it is less formal. It sounds a little better than “Lift Up Yourself”. OK.

In any case – there is a mitzvah in the Torah for two towns that finds a dead body in between them – to measure the distance between their town and the body and the one that is closer makes a declararion “Our hands did not spill this blood and our eyes did not see” (Devarim / Deut 21:7)

It is the elder Jewish sages of the town that make the declaration. How can we think that the elders are going to kill an innocent person? The Bekhor Shor says : We did not see him to give him food for his journey and to accompany him after he left.

Accompany others with good words

Accompaniment is an important part of saying goodbye. When a guest comes to our house we provide three things – Ochel, Sheina, Levaya. Avraham Avinu had an Eshel – a tent. He used to do all three – give food, provide lodging and accompany the people when they left. When one goes on a trip we accompany them a bit and leave with positive words of Torah.

When a person passed to the next world we also accompany the departed to the grave.

In all accompaniment / Levaya – We are basically saying we are here for you. We give them Hizuk – strength to continue the journey. We say a kind word, we say a prayer to Hash-m, we give them a hug. They feel they have a friend. They feel loved.

This is why the elders make that declaration “We did not spill this blood.” We assume the person on the road met bandits or other danger (that was common at that time) and they did not have the emotional fortitude to put up a fight and thus succumbed to their wounds. If the elders saw the person and accompanied them – perhaps the person would still be alive today.

Thus – for us – we can learn – lift up people.Any person you meet – Don’t spare kind words. Don’t spare your smile. Lift them up. Lift yourself up & you can better lift others up. Lift up others with you.

(I didn’t end with a preposition. 🙂 )

G-d Said? Do it Because of Gratitude.

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You lost lotto. The Jackpot. $500 Million. Ok – maybe next time.

But you find out your friend won. He says “I Love you – my friend. Take my winning ticket.”

Is He For Real?

You don’t believe it. You think “it is a joke. Either the numbers are wrong. The ticket is fake. it’s an old ticket”

You check the date. Seems Right. You look at ticket. It has the markings of a real ticket. You check the numbers. Numbers are correct. You bring it in to the Lottery office. “Congratulations. You won the jackpot!” After asking for some papers – they make you fill out some forms asking whether you want to be paid one lump sum after taxes or every year a certain amount.

You don’t believe it. When you receive the first check for tens of millions of dollars, you faint. You pinch yourself. You wake up. You still have the check in your hand. You go to the bank and deposit it. The manager calls you and starts treating you with much respect. He asks you to start a Private Banking account. You check the account and the money is there.

A Small Favor

Now your friend – who gave you the ticket – asks you “can you take a drive with me once a week in the new Rolls Royce you bought with the money you won?” What do you answer?

Doing it For Gratitude

Anyone with a bit of gratitude will say “surely.”

G-d / Hash-m gave us life, children, money, parents, friends, food – worth much than half-a- billion dollars. He asks a small thing to Jews “Observe the Shabbat. Keep Kosher. Observe Family purity.” Put aside the obligation thing. Out of pure gratitude – we should be motivated to listen. He asks a small thing to non-Jews “Observe the 7 Noahide laws from the Torah.” Put aside the obligation thing. Out of pure gratitude – we should be motivated to listen.

How grateful are we really?

 

What is the Reason for Turmoil in the World?

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Corona. 4000 Rockets sent against Israel by terrorists. 45 People Perish in Meron. A Building Falls in Surfside, Florida. Iran attacks the US. Fears of Impending Floods. What is happening here?

Why the Turmoil in the World?

The world is going through turmoil. What is the reason?

There is a word for reaching the truth by experience – by trying a way of life and rejecting falsity. I thought it was catharsis – but apparently that means releasing pent up stress.

In a sense a person follows a path in life – then either they discover it is good or not good. The stress they had by following a particular way of life is removed when they find another “truth” – until they find the real truth.

The Search for Truth

The path of Avraham Avinu / Abraham our Forefather was to investigate the ways in life. He investigated until he could find truth or rejected it if it was lacking truth. He rejected all idolatry, until he found G-d / Hash-m. Yitzro / Jethro did the same. Yitro followed all forms of Idolatry, Religions and cults until he came to the conclusion to the truth of the Torah. He then converted to Judaism. (Judaism does not require a person to become Jewish to receive a place in heaven – a gentile just follows the 7 Noahide laws from the Torah – for the sake of the Torah). Many of the “Ism”s came and went or came thinking it could solve the world’s problems – yet they did not – like communism, anarchism, fascism, Marxism, totalitarianism, liberalism, socialism, etc.

One day there will be no more war – when people find the truth. It takes effort and willingness to give up one comforts to find truth. Would you switch your smart phone for a flip phone if it meant pursuing truth?

G-d’s Messages

G-d / Hash-m is sending messages to the world. We think it as a bunch of random events – but really they are a wake up call for us to return to Our Father in Heaven and finally seek His help – seek His guidance – seek to do the good in His eyes – not only in ours.

Messiah on the Doorstep

We are in the period of the Messianic times.

Two ways to bring Truth to the World

The sad truth is logically – there are two ways to bring truth to the world. One by allowing people to find truth. In the over 5700 years of the world existence – the entire world never achieved that status. One nation did – the Jews  – when they received the Torah at mount Sinai where millions of witnesses heard G-d speak.

The Second way is to eliminate people who follow not the truth. There are grim prophesies that say in “World War 3” – if people don’t search for truth – One Third of the world population will remain. One Fifth of All Jews will remain.

Opportunities to Open Our Eyes

Thus G-d is giving us opportunities to open our eyes and return to his ways – Jews by following their Torah Commandments and Gentiles – by following their 7 Noahide laws from the Torah.

Ask a competent Orthodox Rabbi to explain you your questions on the world. He’ll probably be able to answer. The problem is – many people are attached to their lifestyles and want a semi-truth. A truth allows them not to change. It’s possible – but really should put all their lifestyle on the line if it means pursuing truth – that was the way of Avraham Avinu / Abraham our forefather – that’s the way of Yitro / Jethro.

News to Jews

To observant Jews, News is not just an outlet to learn what is happening in the world – it is a message from G-d / Hash-m to repent / Do Teshuva, improve and to return to Hash-m’s ways.

G-d is One

We say it in the last line of Aleinu Leshabeach / It is incumbent upon us – the Concluding prayer Jews say 3 times a Day. And on that Day Hash-m’s will be One [meaning all people will recognize Him as the True G-d] and His Name will be One [He will be the G-d that everyone will call to]. (Zecharia 14:9)  Zecharia also has some prophesies of our current time period.

Search for Truth

A simple message – a challenging task – search for truth.

Miracle at Surfside Tower

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We pray to G-d / Hash-m for all the people in the collapse of the Surfside, Florida Tower to be recovered safely and alive.

At almost midnight – the night of the collapse – a woman in the Surfside Tower heard strange noises. She called the super. He said there is nothing to be concerned about. She wasn’t comfortable. She told her husband and family to evacuate the building. They all left with the car. They turned the corner and heard the building collapse.

They were saved.

G-d was watching out for them. They must have had a zechut – a merit. Perhaps that day they gave Tzedaka / charity to a Torah cause.

Tzedaka Tatzil MeMavet – Charity saves from death.

The Connection to Spirituality – You are Never Alone

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Electricity gives a house power. Spirituality gives a person power.

In a home nearby – they are connecting an electric line. An electric line connects to the power station. Spirituality connects a person to the source of Life – Hash-m / G-d.

Through being connected to Hash-m through thought, speech and acts – we gain life power. We gain hope. We gain Happiness.

A person is composed of body & soul. Feed the body with food & drink. Feed the soul with Torah & Mitzvot. They give the soul power. When the soul is satisfied – you live on another plane.

You don’t sweat he small things. You are connected to the source of life – Hash-m. You live on another plane – because you change a two dimensional existence – living for you & others – to a three dimensional plane – living for G-d.

Being connected you are never alone. G-d is always watching for your best interest. You always have One to talk to – even alone.

What is True Love? – the Torah View

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The Foundation of the Torah

Once a Gentile came to Shammai – He said “Convert me to Judaism, if you can teach me the entire Torah while standing on one foot.” Shammai – thinking he was mocking him – drove him away with his measuring stick. The gentile came to Hillel. He said “Convert me to Judaism, if you can teach me the entire Torah while standing on one foot.” Hillel said “what is hateful to you – don’t do to others – this is the entire Torah. The rest is all details based upon that foundation.” The gentile decided to convert to Judaism.

You Shall Love Your Fellow as Yourself

Rabbi Akiva said – The foundation of the Torah is veahavta lereacha kamokha – “You shall love your fellow like Yourself.”

Reasons Why a Person May Divorce His Wife According to Torah

When discussing Divorce in the Talmud – Rabbi Akiva said a valid reason for divorce is “One can divorce his wife even if she burns his meal.”

His opinion seems contradictory. If one should love his fellow like himself – why should he divorce his wife on such a trivial matter?

The Foundation of Love

Rabbi Akiva reveals a foundation of the Torah that guides a person to live a life of Truth. Rabbi Akiva says that his love for his wife (and his fellow) should be true love. Love based upon the appreciation of the person – not based upon – what do I gain from the person. If burning a meal is enough for someone to get upset and want to divorce his wife because of it – then it is not true love – and if he wants he may divorce his wife.

Fish Love

Once a person said “I Love Fish.” His fellow replied “If you loved fish – you wouldn’t catch it, skin it, cook it and eat it. You just love yourself.” A question to ask is our love based upon a matter or based upon the other. This is what it says in Pirkei Avot / Ethics of the Fathers – (Chapter 5:16)

What is Love?

16. All love that is dependent upon a matter – when the matter is nullified the love is nullified. And when it is not dependent upon a matter – it will never be nullified. What is the love that depends upon a matter that is the love Amnon & Tamar. And that that is not dependent on a matter, that is the love of David & Jonathan. [At times the love of someone is really love of self-gratification – like one who says: “I love fish.” If he really loved it he wouldn’t kill it. This is love that is dependent on a matter].

What is True Love

Real love is an appreciation of the person. Many today marry on because they think consciously or unconsciously “what’s in it for me?” If you ask a person – why do you want to marry this person? They will reply “Because I love him or her.” Scratch a little deeper ask “Why do you love this person?” They will say “They make me happy.” That love is based upon what they do for you – not your appreciation of them.

What’s More Important a Good Meal or Respect for Your Spouse, Child or loved one?

When trivial matters annoy you about a person, it means that that trivial matter has in a sense more importance than the respect of the person. If you express anger at your spouse because they burned the meal, it may mean that your eating a good meal is more important to you than the honor, respect or feelings of your spouse.

Let it Go

The wise person, the loving person will say “Let it go.” “It’s OK” “everything doesn’t have to be perfect.” While I was saying this Dvar Torah / Word of Torah at the breakfast Table – someone accidentally spilled my cup of Orange Juice on the Table and in my plate. My immediate thought was to have a reaction – but I realized I was saying a Dvar Torah to forgive others and be accepting of others faults and imperfect acts. So I said calmly “Let’s get some Towels and clean this up.”

You Overlook Your Own Faults – Overlook the Faults of Others

Torah wants a person to have real love for others – as one loves themself. A person overlooks his faults – he should overlook faults of others.

If you want to correct someone – correct them, at the proper time, with the proper voice, in the proper place with love -for them – not anger – because of the slight to you.

King Balak was afraid of the Jews after they killed two giants Sihon & Og. Balak took – the gentile Prophet Bilaam to curse them. Bilaam had one blind eye. An alusion that we too should sometimes close our eyes to the failings of others. If we see their failings – we should ask what can we do to help them – rather than jumping on them for every small detail. Give people room to grow. Give people leeway to make a mistake. Usually mistakes are not done on purpose.

Lack of Self-Serenity Causes Dissatisfaction with Others

Their first two letters of For both Balak and Bilaam are Bet, Lamed. Together they Spell – bilbul – Confusion. The Inability to think or reason in a focused, clear manner. Lack of peace of mind or Confusion causes a person to be unsatisfied. If you have a calm state of mind – it’s easier to control your immediate reactions. If you learn mussar works you are better prepared to deal with stress. Believe it is good and it will be good. Believe Hash-m sends only good – and you’ll see the situation in a positive light.

One Rabbi said that the Hebrew Letters of Balak represent veahavta lereacha kamokh / Love Your Fellow as Yourself. A student said “I don’t understand Balak is spelled with a Bet, Lamed and Kuf – the first letters of the words veahavta lereacha kamokh – are Vav, Lamed, Kaf.” The Rebbe replied – If you love another you will overlook the small mistakes, slights and faults.