Why Judaism Treats Women Differently than Men?

I was walking down the street looking for a man to complete the minyan (quorum of 10 Jewish men) needed to recite certain parts of prayer – like Kaddish / the Mourners prayer for the elevation of a soul that departed. I see a man – he’s Jewish. I ask him reluctantly – “Hi sir – can you help us to complete a minyan? Our synagogue is just down the street.” I might have added – someone needs to say Kaddish.

Gathering a Minyan

The woman next to him – apparently his wife – gives an upset look. She says something “You Orthodox Jews differentiate between men and woman!” She was right – but I didn’t have a chance to explain why the Torah differentiates between men and woman – they both walked away with some kind of righteous indignation.

Learning Judaism

I encounter many people like that. They have righteous indignation that I try to offer them a card to help them find meaning & spirituality – by making a connection with Hash-m. Or they outright reject it – apparently they have a fear of becoming closer to G-d. Perhaps I should give them a copy of “The Bible for the Clueless but Curious – Finally, A Guide to Jewish Wisdom for Real People Nachum Braverman. I was perusing it just today. He’s also a co-author of The Death of Cupid. The author has an informal but eloquent – and meaningful righting
I mean writing. Wow I think – it’s the first time I used this strikeout function. OK.

Why People are Reluctant to Follow Judaism

So I understand people – they are reluctant to believe or have a close connection with G-d. Why? Some because they feel it will cramp their lifestyle if they believe. If they believe in G-d – Jews will no longer be able to get a Big Mac. (Hamburger & Cheese is a No no.) Gentiles will no longer be able to eat live animals. (Sorry to mention repugnant things – but some people still do this.) Big loss? I don’t know. I did it. I gave up the peperoni pizza. Nowadays – you have a kosher alternative to almost anything. The Rambam / Maimonides brings 24 reasons – which cause people to avoid Teshuva – Repentance.

The Difference Between Judaism & Other Religions

Some don’t want to believe because they are turned off by religions – that killed millions and keep killing in the name of their religions –  and they stereotype from other religions to Judaism. I hear that – so investigate the difference. The Bible for the Clueless is a good starting point.

Weighing the Losses & the Gains of Judaism.

I was in both worlds – the secular & the observant world – and I find that the benefits greatly out weigh the sacrifices. No more shopping on Shabbat – but a much better relationship with the family. No more eating Big Macs – but a much more spiritually satisfying diet – a Kosher one. They say that non-Kosher food clouds the heart of a Jew. Thus a Jew who eats non-Kosher has a harder time understanding mitzvot than a Kosher eater.

Did I get off tangent? Sorry.

Thanks for Not Making me a Woman

All Jews – men & women – say Morning Blessings daily to thank G-d / Hash-m for all the Good He supplies daily. Like the ability to see, the ability to walk, the gift of clothing, etc. The man’s blessings of the Daily Morning blessings are slightly different than a woman’s. A Woman says “Blessed are You Hash-m … that You made me according to Your Will.” Men say “Blessed are You Hash-m … that You did not make me a Woman.”

Q & A on Woman’s Blessing

You should have 2 questions – one on the woman’s blessing and one on the man’s. The one on the woman’s blessing – “Does that mean that G-d didn’t make the man according to His Will?” One Answer: G-d made a woman more complete than a man – a man has to strive to perfect himself – a woman is closer to where G-d want’s a person to be initially. Apparently, she can grow and she can fall. We all have freedom of choice.

Q & A on Man’s Blessing

The question on the man’s blessing: “Why term it that I am thankful to not be a woman? Since a woman – is closer to the connection with G-d – she has less mitzvot. Mitzvot are  to help a person reach spirituality, spiritual perfection and a closeness to G-d. A man needs a Talit, Tephillin, Lulav, and other external items to become closer to Hash-m. Thus a man has more Mitzvot to become closer to G-d. Thus the man thanks G-d that he did not make him have less Mitzvot – like a woman.

G-d didn’t first create man & woman and say – this would be an appropriate law for them. G-d first created the Torah – then based upon the Torah – he found it appropriate to make a creature called a Man and one called a Woman.

The Error of Society – Not Appreciating Differences in People

I heard in some societies & public schools – they are erasing the gender differences. They say no more boys line or girls line – there is the A line or the B line. It is prohibited in the schools to say “Boy” or “Girl”.

To do what society is doing today – to force a man and a woman to ignore their differences will in the end create confusion and psychological problems. If I can’t appreciate my strengths and weaknesses – so I become like a marshmallow – devoid of form, and purpose and uniqueness. A rabbi said “If one tries to be like someone else – he is not that person and he is not himself – he becomes a non-entity.”

The Torah on the other-hand appreciates the difference between men & and women. It tells a man how he is to talk with his wife – with kindness. It teaches how a man should appreciate his wife – with words & gifts. It teaches how a woman should speak with her husband – with respect – like all people.

Each gender is given their particular laws that suit their psychological and role in the family. These laws bring out their strengths and minimize their weaknesses.

Say No to the Marshmallow Movement

Say No to being a Marshmallow!

 

 

Three Things to Do for a More Settled Mindset – Advice from the Yanuka

When a Jew is in the womb of his mother – an angel is present teaching him the entire Torah. Before the baby exits – the angel strikes the person below the nose – creating an indentation and causing the baby to forget. Once the angel did not hit a certain child. The child was able to tell secrets of the the Torah. The parents brought the child to a great rabbi – He put the child in a dark room. In the morning the child forgot what he learned. They Called the child the Yanuka.

Today a great young rabbi in Israel – Rabbi Shlomo Yehuda – through his effort and toil in Torah – received an appellation of “the Yanuka” / הגאון הינוקא – due to his great Torah knowledge.

Asked about how one can have a more settled mindset – he replied:

One is to pray to Hash-m for a more settled mindset.

The second he said to read daily the Third chapter of Habakkuk.

The Third is that his or her mind should settled in terms of their “world to come.” When a person is settled about their “world to come” – doing the right in the eyes of man & G-d – it will help them to have a more settled mindset.

 

The Gift is in What You Make, Not What You Take

A person wants a legacy. Here is my “Legacy Quote”

“The Gift is in What You Make, Not What You Take”

Why are people still in search of happiness? Apparently – many think when they Have a particular thing – they will be happy. I will be happy when I win Lotto, when I have a new car, When I have a new house, when I get married.

Choose Happiness

But Torah says – you choose your happiness. You choose to be happy. You make your happiness. Meaning Happiness is in our own control – not a certain state based upon our situation.

When we do good – we feel good.

Why – because we have an elevated soul. The soul has little interest in food or material pleasures in themselves. It is interested in the benefit derived from using the material to do good. Thus – two people can do the same act – one will become happy and the other not. One by using their new car to drive their parents home will have the satisfaction of doing a Mitzvah or good deed. The one who uses their car to commit a bank hoist – will not elevate their soul. He will probably sadden it and will experience sadness.

Make the Situation

You choose what you want to do with your time. You can be productive & build the world or not.

Make Yourself

You choose to get angry or not. You choose to smile or not. You choose to become a better person.

Make Good Deeds

You can make the world a better place. You can choose to save lives, to protect lives, to help others – according to Torah – or not.

Bout with Sadness

I had a bout with sadness when I was young. I tried to get over it by glossing over it. By occupying myself with the media and the like. Although I was distracted – I remained with the sadness. I was doing activities that did not elevate my soul. I thus remained in my sad state – even though I was doing the activities that people do to be happy.

The reason that I didn’t get out of it readily – I believe – was that I was involved in some activities that gladden the soul and others that sadden it. Slowly, I got involved in activities congruent with Torah, I purified myself and little by little the sadness went away.

The Proof of Happiness being Congruent with Doing Good

Why do people like a happy ending. The Good person wins over the wicked. Good triumphs over evil. Like I said – innate in us is a soul that wants good, wants to do good, wants people to do good, and is inspired by people who do good.

Get involved in activities that are congruent with Torah values & one who’s soul suffers will eventually rejoice.

Purity Counts – the Benefits of Cleansing the Mind

We associate the color white with purity. In the Torah / 5 Books of Moses – the brother of Rivka and father of Rachel & Leah has a beautiful name – Lavan. Lavan means white in Hebrew. Although he had a beautiful name – he was wicked.

Wickedness of Lavan

We say it in the Passover Haggada – “Arami Oved Avi” – “An Aramean (Lavan) destroyed my father (Yaakov / Jacob).” Since Lavan tried to kill Yaakov – he is considered as if he actually did it. Thus we say “An Aramean destroyed my father.”  and not “An Aramean tried to kill my father.” For certain – if they attempt to do an evil act — it is considered as if they actually did it.

Misleading Purity

At times the world of marketing – leads us to believe that certain things are pure and certain things are right. It may be so – it may not.

What is Purity?

There is a difference between Holiness and Purity. Holiness is one who is careful to follow the laws of the Torah with precision. He is loved my man and Hash-m / G-d. A Holy person can be impure. A pure person – can be unholy.

Defining Purity

There are various kinds of purity – purity of the heart and purity of the body are two.

Purity of Heart

Purity of the heart – means a person is careful to guard their heart of hatred. They guard their eyes from seeing the prohibited – improper images – like those of idolatry, the face of wicked people, immodest people and images. They guard their mouths from speaking evil – they speak no evil about others – even if it is true (see laws of Lashon HaRa), they do not flatter, they have clean language. From their mouth emanates truth and kindness. They guard their ears from hearing bad about others. They keep their hearts far from grudges, animosity and controversy. They keep their mind pure as well.

Purity of the Body

A person’s body can become impure several ways. A person who touches an unclean animal – like a lizard, rodent or insect can become impure. A person who touches a dead body or who is in a building with a dead body or in a cemetery also contracts impurity. A menstruating woman or a man that has a seminal issue also contracts impurity. A person’s hands become impure when they sleep – thus we do netilat yadayim / washing of the hands in the morning.

To achieve purity of the heart one reads, learns and applies sefarim / Jewish books on Mussar / Jewish Ethics.

To achieve purity of the body one may immerse in a natural body of water, like a river, ocean, or mikve.

At times a person feels cloudy of mind. They feel depression. They may feel anger. Certain things that bring upon themselves impurity cause depression, anger and being unsettled.

The solution? Purify yourself.

 

 

The Benefits of an Old Used Car

I asked my mechanic today if he needs an assistant. I had so many car troubles – I know many car parts, troubles, and their solutions. He laughed.

He told me it is more worth my time to learn & teach Torah. He told me a story that once – I believe Moshe Reichman – a Multi-Billionaire – asked – the Gadol HaDor – great Rabbi of the Generation – could he retire and just sit and learn Torah. Rav Shach said – He supported so many Yeshiva Students – with his wealth – that he should remain in business and keep his Torah learning schedule.

A Greater Place in Heaven

I then told him a story – Once Moshe Reichman asked Rav Schach – “Who will have a greater place in Heaven – Himself – because he supported so many Torah learning Institutions and Yeshivot or Rav Shach who was the Torah leader of the Generation?”

Rav Shach replied – “I don’t know who will have a better portion of Olam HaBa / in Heaven – but I know I have a better portion in Olam HaZeh / this world.” Moshe Reichman was a billionaire. Rav Shach lived very simply. He meant that living & Learning Torah was greater than the life of a billionaire.

The Benefits of an Old Used Car

I said to my mechanic – It is good to have an old used car. Why? Because the troubles that you have are an atonement for sins. Instead of physical harm – the atonement goes on the car. So spending $1000 for a new Intake Manifold isn’t so bad – after all.

Rabbi Harvey Gornish, an Orthodox Rabbi, brought a story in response to a question – “How did King Solomon / Shlomo Hamelech learn the language of the animals?”

In I Kings 3:5–14 Solomon begs G-d for the wisdom of a LEV SHOMAYA or understanding heart, and a Midrash informs us that when he woke up from what he thought was a dream (3:15), he found that he could understand the chirping of the birds.

There is a remarkable follow up to this Midrash. One day a friend of Solomon, obsessed with learning the secrets of the birds, implored the king to teach him this secret language. Solomon cautioned him that it would serve him not well and lead to disaster, but the friend was relentless. Upon learning how to understand the chirping birds, the man heard two birds conversing and was shocked to hear that they were speaking about himself, warning that tomorrow his house would burn down. Shrewdly, the man raced to the market and sold his house to a idolatrous gentile. How happy he was to incur no loss when the house burst into flames on the morrow.


A week later he heard the birds warn that his cattle would die of a plague. Once again he shrewdly sold them quickly and suffered no loss. Finally, the last avian warning was that HE was about to die. Terrified, the man ran to Solomon begging for advice.

Solomon explained there was nothing he could do; the man had tried to outsmart the Al-Mighty, and deserved his fate. The merciful G-d had tried to awaken him to repentance by depriving him of a somewhat painless monetary loss; a house, some cattle, etc. But NO, HE was too smart to allow G-d to do this. So finally, there was nothing left with which to punish his sins except to take his very life.And that was That.

And so the Torah warns us in Deuteronimy 18:13 Tamim Tihihey Im Hashem Elokecho: Be WHOLEHEARTED with Hashem your G-d. Refrain from astrology, divination, fortune telling and tarot cards in order to outwit your fate. It can not be done and it is a sin to try. Instead TRUST in His love that whatever befalls you was not only necessary, but also the best outcome that is beneficial to your soul. Trying to outsmart the Al-Mighty is really for the birds!

Spending $1000 for a new Intake Manifold isn’t so bad – after all.

Jewish Inspiration Hotline

Need inspiration?

Apparently the word inspiration comes from – the same latin root at spirit. Spirare in Latin means to breath. I looked it up:

Middle English enspire, from Old French inspirer, from Latin inspirare ‘breathe or blow into’ from in- ‘into’ + spirare ‘breathe’. The word was originally used of a divine or supernatural being, in the sense ‘impart a truth or idea to someone’.

The Best inspiration is Torah inspiration – Why? Because Torah inspiration – inspires the soul. It imparts a truth from Hash-m – the Divine.

Every day at 1:00 PM Eastern 10:00 AM Pacific is the OU’s Daily Tehillim Call: Where you can Connect with Jews across the world for daily Tehillim and Inspiration
Call 773.377.9170.

I was on yesterday.

You can get great inspirational cards at our freebies / store section.

Choose to Be Happy

The Blessing of Freedom of Choice

We recite the Morning Blessings every day. One of the Berakhot is “Asher Natan LaShechvi Bina Lehavchin ben Yom uben Layla” – We bless G-d that he gave the rooster the ability to distinguish between day and night. We thank G-d that rooster wakes us up in the morning. In the Chumash of Rabbi Eli Munk he brings the Chidushei HaRim. He says that the word Shechvi – can also mean the heart of man.

Thus the blessing’s meaning becomes “We bless G-d that he gave the heart of man the ability to distinguish between day and night.” We thus thank G-d for giving us freedom of choice daily. Freedom to choose between day – which is an allegory to doing Good. And the freedom to choose night –  an allegory to evil.

Choose Life

In this week’s parasha / Torah reading – Re’eh Hash-m says – See that I place before you a blessing and a curse. The Blessing that you observe the Mitzvot / Commandments …

Why does it say The blessing that you observe the Mitzvot. It should say the blessing if you observe the mitzvot? It’s teaching that not only do we get blessing by observing Torah and mitzvot – but the Torah & Mitzvot are a blessing in itself.

When we observe Shabbat – it is a blessing to spend time with family and connect with Hash-m and community.

See the Good in Life

We just have to see it. So we can see that everything I present before you is a blessing – we choose to view it as a blessing or a curse. It is our freedom of choice.

Choose to Be Happy

We can view the good in every situation or the opposite it is our choice. Like it says in pirkei avot – who is the wealthy person? the person who is happy with his lot. It is not our situation that makes us happy but our choice. We choose to be happy.

What makes us Happy

In Shir HaShirim / Song of Songs – written by Shlomo Hamelech – it says Yishakeini MeNishikot Pihu – ki tovim dodecha miyayin.” – Kiss me with the Kisses of Your Mouth for your love is better than wine.

The Vilna Gaon says The kisses are the 2 commandments we heard directly from Hash-m. Anochi / “I am Hash-m..” Implanted the Torah in our hearts. “Lo Yehiye” / “Do not have any gods aside Me…” – removed the evil inclination from us.

Spiritual vs. Material Pleasure

When we learn Torah we receive this love. More than that – it is saying that Hash-m’s love is greater than wine. Meaning that Spiritual pleasure – being close to Hash-m through Torah – gives us greater pleasure than wine – material pleasure.

Why is this – because our essence is a soul. The soul does not gain pleasure from the physical world (except for aromas) – but it gains pleasure from the closeness to Hash-m. Thus – when we do good – and Hash-m is “close to us” we are happy. When we do the opposite – Hash-m “distances” Himself and thus it gives the soul sadness.

Is “the L-rd” the L-rd?

Joe ate the sandwich.

A Simple sentence.

The editor edits it – “The person ate the sandwich”

Who ate the Sandwich?

OK. What’s the difference?

Before the sentence is edited – we know who ate the sandwich. After it is edited – we do not know who ate the sandwich.

The Proper Translation of the Five Books of Moses

I don’t know if “editors” or “translators” changed the proper noun of “Hash-m” to the common noun of “the L-rd” on purpose – to mislead people or to refrain from mentioning the true name of G-d because it is forbidden – but that’s what they did to The Torah / the Five Books of Moses. In many translations or editions of the Five Books of Moses / Humash it says “And the L-rd spoke to Moses Saying.”

That is not an accurate translation – in the Hebrew it says “Vayomer ‘Hash-m’ el Moshe Lemor.” Hash-m Does not mean the L-rd. The Word Hash-m replaces the actual name of G-d. Since we are not allowed to use the name of G-d we use Hash-m.

Hash-m refers to a the Name of the Jewish G-d.

It should say “And Hash-m spoke to Moses Saying.”

What is the difference?

When it says “the L-rd” people think it is a generic name of G-d – so anyone can be misled to believe that it is the god of their choice.

But really it says “Hash-m” – the Name of the Jewish G-d.

Some more recent translations of the Humash / 5 Books of Moses accurately translate Hash-m’s name properly. One such edition is The Artscroll Stone Chumash.

Removing the Wool from the Eyes

In the entire Tanach / Torah – 5 Books of Moses, Neviim – Prophets, Ketuvim – Witings – Only Hash-m – the Jewish G-d – is mentioned as G-d of the Universe.

100 Blessings a Day Keeps the Calamities Away

In the time of David HaMelech / King David a plague was killing 100 people a day. He thus instituted that people say 100 Blessings a day. People stopped dying.

Various types of blessings exist –

Blessings on gaining benefit / Birkot HaNehenim – like the blessings before eating food & before smelling pleasant aromas.

Blessings of Praise – like blessings on lightning, blessing on the new moon.

Blessings of Thanks – like saying thanks that we lived till today – on new clothing, new fruits, on new holidays

Blessings on Mitzvot / Commandments – like before washing hands, before putting on tefillin / phylacteries, before shaking lulav and etrog

The Torah (5 Books of Moses) writes “What Does Hash-m Your G-d ask of you – only to fear him” The Word “What” in Hebrew is “Mah”. Rabbi Meir Baal HaNess says the Word Mah similar to the Hebrew word – can be read as – “Me-ah” – meaning One-Hundred.

Meaning to fear G-d, Hash-m wants us to recite 100 blessings a day.

Why 100 Blessings A day?

In a Shiur / Lecture of Rabbi David Itmar Bitton /הרה”ג דוד איתמר ביטון – I believe on the Parasha / Torah Reading of Ekev recently – he asks why 100 blessings? Why not another amount?

He says that when Adam HaRishon / the first man – was created by Hash-m he was tall to the sky. When he sinned he was reduced to 100 amot. (1 Amah is 1.5 – 2 feet). Adam before the sin was a highly spiritual being. When he sinned – he changed to more of a physical being. (He used to have clothing of light (Ohr – with an Alef) – that were changes to clothing of animal skin / hide (O’hr – with an Ayin).

100 amot is the point – between heaven and earth. Adam’s new goal was to uplift the physicality into spirituality. Thus we recite 100 blessings a day – to change the physical – as food – to spiritual – by reciting blessings.

Are You Eating Soul Food

At times a soul is reincarnated to animate or inanimate object. When one recites the blessing on the food – if a soul was in that object – it is uplifted allowing it to go to a higher plane of existence. We are fortunate to be humans. Our soul was reincarnated to being a human – thus we have freedom of choice to elevate ourselves through spirituality or the opposite by pursuing pleasure without a higher purpose.

 

 

There is No Coincidence Unless … You Believe in Coincidence or G-d’s Daily Providence

As the Joke Goes: A guy is running late to an interview in Manhattan. He’s looking for parking. He prays to G-d : “Hash-m – please help me find a parking space. If you do I will start keeping Shabbat, putting on Tephillin regularly, and keeping Kosher. He turns the corner and right in front of his appointment site – he finds a parking space. He declares “What a Coincidence!”

G-d’s Individual Supervision

Hashgacha Pratit is Individual Supervision. For certain individuals – who believe in Hash-m’s Providence – He will guide the situation. If not He will leave the situation to “chance” – rather let things be guided without His help. Bar Kochba was a great warrior. He believed in Hash-m. He won battles consistently. Rabbi Akiva thought that he was Mashiach / Messiah. He asked Hash-m to “step aside” and let him take care of his battles. He was killed soon afterward.

The Divine Matchmaker

Once a Noble Woman asked a Rabbi – after G-d has created the world – what is G-d doing? He replied he is matching couples. The woman said – that’s all? I can do the same thing. She took 1000 menservants and maidservants and married them together. After the Marriage – they came back to her complaining – one had a broken arm, one a black eye, each with another wound. She told the Rabbi – “Your G-d is truly superior.”

Rabbi Michael Toledano of Ohr Baruch Yeshiva in Yerusalayim explained – “It is not just that G-d is matching couples for marriage. Hash-m is matching a person with a toothache with the right dentist, a building contractor with someone who needs a house, etc. That is the meaning of Mezaveg Zivugim / matching couples.”

If one prays to Hash-m – Hash-m will help. If One believes in Hash-m’s providence He will help. One who does not – He leaves to the hands of “chance.”

Hearing G-d’s Messages

Emmanuel AssarafTo see and understand G-d’s providence we are to be observant to the daily messages he sends us. About a Month ago – my cousin Emmanuel passed away in Florida at the ripe age of 28. He was a kind, smiling, soft-spoken soul.

I feel a bit guilty that I should have reached out to him more. I should have learned Torah with him. If I did perhaps  he would have had the merit to live longer. I regret my indolence towards him. He was a good person.

But with all my other activities it slipped my mind. But G-d apparently did send me messages. I looked on my Talit and Tefillin bag today. I noticed on the tag the name of the artist who made it – embroidered there was “Emanuel”. I didn’t pay attention to that detail. I didn’t make the connection that it should have reminded me of my cousin – perhaps to reach out to him.

I regret. What now? Let’s learn to reach out the people we can help.

Emmanuel in Hebrew means “G-d is with us.” Let’s also learn Hash-m is with us.