Go To Yourself

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This Week’s Parasha / Weekly Torah Reading – Hash-m tells Avram (soon to become Avraham) – Lech Lecha … – Go For Yourself from your land from your birthplace from your father’s house to the land that I will show you. Avram goes.

Lech Lecha – can also mean “Go to Yourself”

People say “I want to be Me!” but they end up imitating friends, society, media characters and the like. Hash-m is telling Avram – Be Yourself. Develop the good you have in yourself and express it outside. Avram is well known for his kindness. He has guests. He defends the lives of wicked people – Sodom – from being destroyed.

When Defending Sodom – he asks G-d are there righteous people within the city. When G-d says no. Then Avram relents. Why – righteous people “within the city”? A righteous person is like a candle – they can bring light to a room full of darkness / evil. Avram asked this to assure that these people “within the city” – ie, influential people – would influence the others to become better.

Becoming Your Real Self

One way for a person to reach their real selves is to learn & observe Torah. This allows a person to become their true good self. It allows them to bring out the good in them. The Torah is like salt – it brings out a person’s true nature. Thus one should work on perfecting their nature – while learning Torah. For if one has a bad nature – it might bring that out as well.

One way for a person to more easily become their true selves is to move a way to a community that they can be positively influenced to the good. A community that has a good Orthodox Jewish congregation that encourages personal growth.

When I was younger – I moved to Geneva, Switzerland for a Job as a Marketing Director for a Private Banking Software Company. There – I was away from my old environment. I attended Shiurim / Torah lectures. I participated in community Shabbat gatherings. Being away from my home town helped me to reflect and to grow.

 

The Motorcycle of My Youth – Dreams Dashed for the Good

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In my youth, our family took vacations with my cousins in Washington, DC. They really lived in Silver Spring – Maryland. But we called it Washington anyway.

I would hang out with my cousins. We would go on trips together. We roasted marshmallows by their fireplace. My older cousin would tell me spooky stories with a funny ending. On Shabbat I would take long walks and talks with my cousin. For some reason we would end up by some parking lot – when we would then return home.

My uncle – Jacques – married to my father’s sister – would welcome us. We were part of the family. At the Shabbat Table and in general – he would tell puns and jokes that required some thinking. We dubbed them “Tonton Jacques Jokes.” (“Tonton” is Uncle in French).

One of his classics was when we were walking on Rosh Hashana to do Tashlich on – when we go by a body of water to release our sins – like it says in the Pasuk / Verse in Micha 7:19 :

יָשׁ֣וּב יְרַֽחֲמֵ֔נוּ יִכְבֹּ֖שׁ עֲוֺֽנֹתֵ֑ינוּ וְתַשְׁלִ֛יךְ בִּמְצֻל֥וֹת יָ֖ם כָּל־חַטֹּאותָֽם׃

He will take us back in love;
He will cover up our iniquities,
You will hurl all our (iHeb. “their.”) sins
Into the depths of the sea.

Walking to Tashlich, Tonton Jacques turned back to us and said with a smile “Depeche Vous!” / Hurry Up You (pl).

Peche in French Means “Sin”. “De” as a prefix in French – like in English means to remove – like in Desalinate. His words had a double meaning – “Hurry Up” & “Remove Your Sins”. I guess the joke is funnier when you hear it in French.

Tonton Jacques loved to buy old stuff from the auctions. I remember walking into his office. He had all these neat machines. Once he took me to an auction. I eyed one of the items – it was a spiffy motorcycle. Although – I was around 10 at the time – I really wanted him to buy the Motorcycle for me. I imagined myself riding it. I hinted to him – wow – that motorcycle looks like a bargain. He didn’t get the hint. I think He ended up buying a box full of miscellaneous office items. I was upset – but I got over it.

Looking back I am grateful he didn’t buy that Motorcycle. I don’t think the police would have taken kindly to a 10-year old riding a Motorbike. Also – it is safer to drive a car. I also wanted a car in Washington. I was attracted by the Triumph TR7. But that faded as well.

I didn’t get the Motorcycle – but I did take some serious bicycle trips in Washington. I would take a bottle of water and some Moroccan cookies and went riding into the city. Once I ended up next to Walter Reed Veteran Hospital. I didn’t know how to get back. No GPS in those days. No Cell Phones either.

I was lost. I wasn’t so observant when I was young. But I did pray. I remember connecting to G-d. I spoke with Him in my own language. I remember praying once when walking to school “G-d – if You exist – make a lightening bolt strike next to where I am walking far enough for me not to get hurt.” Lightening never struck. I didn’t see the proof of G-d that way – but I saw it in other ways.

I needed help finding home base. Hash-m kept me – a young boy lost in the streets of Washington DC – without a helmet (it wasn’t required by law those days) – safe.

I knew my cousins lived by Second Avenue in Silver Spring and 16th street. I guess I asked some people and I found my way home, Barukh Hash-m.

Leadership – Eight Qualities that Made Moses a Great Leader

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Moses or Moshe Rabbeinu / Our Teacher – was the ultimate leader. He was a king of Ethiopia. He confronted Pharaoh to let the Jews out of Egypt and initiated plagues against him. He led the Jews out of Egypt. He negotiated with G-d / Hash-m to save the Jewish People. He Fought wars against Amalek and other Enemies of the Jews. One of his most challenging tasks was to Judge and lead the people of Israel for 40 years in the desert.

I recently heard a Shiur / Lecture of Rabbi Meir Eliyahu. He said the secret of Moshe’s success is found in the words : Hazak VeEmatz / Be Strong and Resolute – (in Devarm / Deut 31:7) – when Moshe is transferring the Mantle of leadership to Yehoshua / Joshua:

Then Moses called Joshua and said to him in the sight of all Israel: “Be strong and resolute, for it is you who shall go with this people into the land that the HASH-M swore to their fathers to give them, and it is you who shall apportion it to them.

These are the qualities that successful leaders have:

H’et – H’ochma – Wisdom and Haritza – effectiveness. It is not just any wisdom – it is Torah wisdom. Torah gives a person wisdom to deal with people and all situations properly. Torah is the thought’s of G-d. Thus after thinking a situation out according to Torah Hashkafa and wisdom – a person makes more intelligent decisions. Effectiveness comes from getting things done – Moshe wasted no time to implement decisions.

Zayin – Zerizut – alacrity / quickness. When Moshe received the commandment to make refuge cities – he quickly established them – even though they were only to be used many ears later. He did not push off the war against the Midianites – even though he knew he would die after the war ended.

Kuf – Kedusha – holiness – When a person is holy – according to Torah – he is able to see things the average man will not.

Vav – Vatranut – yielding and overlooking slights – Moshe overlooked slights to his honor and opportunities for advancement to make peace.

Aleph – Amitzut – Strength / Resolute – Moshe was resolute to do something when he made a decsion to do it.

Mem – Metivat Ishit LaTzibur – Doing personal good for the congregation / Metinut – thought Out and deliberate – Moshe’s primary interest was the good of the congregation – not his personal popularity in the public’s eyes. His concern was to find favor in the eyes of G-d and man. He did not seek votes – seek the lowest common denominator of morality to get approval. He had and lived by the standards of Hash-m & His Torah – and sought to bring people up to those standards.

Tzadi – Tzadik – being righteous – Righteousness is a trait that helps a person keep their position. How many people have fallen because they took bribes, or worse holding a public office.

Moshe was the most humble of all men – yet he was the ultimate leader.

Seeing the Glass Full in Life – a Torah Concept

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Everything is in the Torah

In Pirkei Avot (5:22) – one of the Tractates of the Talmud – it says:

Ben Bag Bag says: Delve in it [the Torah] & delve in it & learn it for everything is in it…

When G-d gave us the Torah – he gave two Torahs – the Written Law – the Five Books of Moses & the Oral Law – Now known as the Talmud – that explains the written Torah.

I was discussing last week’s parasha – Noach – on 7 couples of clean animals & 2 unclean animals that were to enter Noah’s ark. What are clean animals? What is an unclean animal?

Later in the Torah – the Torah says – the clean animals are the Kosher animals – those that chew their cud & have split hooves – like the cow, sheep, and goat. The unclean animals are the ones that are non-Kosher. The From here we learn that Noah knew the Torah before it was given – for he knew how to distinguish between Kosher and non-Kosher animals. The Talmud further explains – what is Kosher.

In the Talmud – Ben Zoma says (Pirkei Avot 4:1)

…Who is the rich person? The one who is content with his lot as it says: “When you eat the effort of handiwork – happy are you & it is good for you” (Tehillim / Psalms 128:2) “happy” — in this world; that “and it will be good for you” – in the next world…

It is not what you have. It is how you see what you have. One can have all the luxuries & want more & be dissatisfied. One can have happy with the little he or she has.

When we internalize that all is a gift from Hash-m / G-d, we live a life of appreciation. We turn our dissatisfaction to satisfaction.

It depends only upon how we look at things. Choose Happiness!

Getting a Sunny Personality – Accepting Insult with Grace

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People insult.

The Giving End of Insults

We are sometimes on the giving end. I try not to insult people. I think – what do you gain? You make another person feel badly and you didn’t gain anything. Now that they are more angry at you because you insulted them – they are going to do what you want?

The concept of “Sticks and Stones may break my bones – but names will never harm me.” is not a true concept according to Torah. Words can hurt. Onaat Devarim / Pain With Words are a set of halachot / Jewish laws that Jews learn to not hurt others with words.

The Receiving End of Insults

We sometimes are on the receiving end of insults. I try not to get insulted by insults. I figure the other person had a bad day or something. Because the other person called me a donkey – did that make me into a donkey? No. It says in Torah – if someone calls you a donkey – prepare a saddle for your back. (Baba Kama 92b) Meaning – Don’t answer their insult – and acquiesce – rather than respond angrily – to their words.

The Healthy Sun

A French expression says “Sickness does not enter where the sun is.” So it is good to live in a place that has sunlight. Also – when a person has a sunny personality – he or she is less likely to become ill. People who let insults slide – do not hold grudges and feel anger or hatred. They avoid negative emotions & stress to have a negative physical effect on their bodies.

The Reward for Not Responding to Insults

The Torah says “Someone who is insulted but does not insult, One Who hears their degradation and answers not is like the Sun in it’s zenith” (Talmud: Tractate Shabbat 88b)

The atonement that does for all of his sins is greater than any other reparation he can make.

When One is Like the Sun

I was speaking with my friend Yossi. He explained to me why that kind of person is compared to the Sun. Why not say – he is like a lion?

Why is the Moon Smaller than the Sun

He answered – when Hash-m created the sun and the moon He created them the same size.

The moon complained – he said – “Hash-m there cannot be two rulers in the sky. G-d answered him – you are right. Make yourself smaller.”

When the sun was summoned to the discussion by Hash-m – Hash-m asked the sun – what does he have to say? The sun responded – with astonishment. He didn’t understand why he was summoned. He meant to say: “I don’t understand why I am summoned – It is You Hash-m who knows all. It is You who are the ruler of the world – what can I say?”

In that – the insulted who does not respond is like the sun. He accepts Hash-m’s judgement favorably, without complaint.

King David’s Reward

When Shimi ben Gera insulted David HaMelech / King David – His general said this man is rebellious against the King – let us kill him. David Hamelech replied – it is not he who insulted me – it is Hash-m who organized this.” His reward was so great – that his face was placed on the Throne of Glory.

The Best $250 I Ever Lost – Finding the Right Jewish School for Your Child

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I remember “Back to School” days. I was so excited. I had fresh new notebooks, new pens and pencils in a tidy pencil case. Everything was spiffy and new. I had new clothes for the new school year. I was eager to meet my new classmates and talk with my old friends.

It was a time of innocence.

The Jew Who Started Formal Education

By the way – the person who started schooling for the general population was a Jewish sage – Joshua ben Gamla – who lived about 1900 years ago. He – the Talmud (Tractate Bava Bathra 21a) states – instituted formal Jewish education and primary schooling. Prior to this, parents taught their children informally. He instituted schools in every town and made education compulsory from the age of 6 or 7.

Consulting G-d About Your Child

Three partners are responsible for the creation of man – the father, the mother and Hashem. The man and woman provide the physical parts – and G-d provides the soul. Thus I mention that before deciding on the welfare of one’s child – they should consult all partners – meaning the Mother, the Father and Hash-m. So when a person wants to send their child to a school – they should also consult the Torah opinion – which represents the view of Hash-m – by asking a competent Orthodox Rabbi.

Difference Between Torah Day Schools and Secular School

Today’s Torah Day Schools teach Kodesh / the Holy – Torah Subjects – and Hol / the Profane – like Math, English, History, Science and the like.

Secular schools do not teach ethics, proper behavior or religion. In secular schools it may even be prohibited. Torah schools – teach Torah topics – which teaches the children to respect parents, do kindness, respect the environment, respect authority and more.

Secular schools offer free tuition. One pays tuition for children enrolled in Torah Day schools. Many offer scholarships. Even if one cannot afford the tuition – they work with parents.

Is Free Really Free?

Free is not free. The money Jewish parents save in sending children to a secular school – is lost by the lack of respect, involvement with drugs and immorality children learn in the secular schools. The secular studies in Torah day schools is of high quality – reaching or exceeding the levels of the secular schools.

Jewish Continuity and Torah Schooling

Those who enroll in a Torah day school are much more likely to adhere to the continuity of the Jewish people – by eventually marrying within the faith. A statistic from a National Jewish Population Study found that Over 95% of those that attend Torah Day schools for 12 years marry within the Jewish faith – as opposed to 30% of people who marry within the Jewish faith of Jews that never had a Jewish education.

Reward for Parents and Kids

Every word of Torah learned gives tremendous reward to the learner – so parents and kids benefit in two ways – the children become better individuals & they get rewarded for learning Torah. The parents get part of the reward because they chose to put their child in an Orthodox Torah Day school.

Better Children

Torah day schools teach – mussar – how to be a better person – but also kids learn Yearat Shamayim – fear of Heaven or of Hash-m. I heard a child develops their awe of G-d before the age of three – so it is well worthwhile to put a child in a Torah day school from a young age.

Neutrality or Partiality of Secular Schools

I heard from school faculty – that Public Schools Today are not as “Parve” / neutral as one would think. A lot of secular schools impose societies “mores & morals” on children. Many which go against Torah ideals. So today it not a neutral thing to place a child in a secular school – the schools try to indoctrinate the children with society’s values.

G-d is with You – the Importance of Yireat Shamayim – Fear of Heaven

Some will ask why is fear of Hash-m important? A person is most of the time on their own. They act the way they feel. Nothing is really stopping them from doing, saying or thinking things that are harmful to others or themselves. When one fears Hash-m – they act with more restraint – for they know G-d is always with them watching them. But it also teaches a child that they are never alone – One of their parents – Hash-m is always with them.

The Choice between Two Jewish Schools

About 20 years ago – we were trying to select a school. We had a choice between – a Traditional Torah day school and a more Modern “Jewish” Nursery School. After weighing the Pros and Cons – we decided to enroll in the Modern “Jewish” Nursery School. We paid $250 for registration fees.  We went to the orientation session. Sitting in the little children seats – the teacher was proudly explaining what they were going to teach the innocent children.

As part of the demonstration – she proudly pointed to a large Television. She said “and every day we show the kids cartoons of popular cartoon characters.” A red flag went up in my and my spouse’s mind. “What? You want children to learn Torah values – from Mickey Mouse?! What kind of Jewish education is that? Is a misrepresentation to call yourself a Jewish school and teach the children street values.”

After the orientation – we politely exited and registered in a Traditional Torah Day School – not far from our home – that was under the auspices of a well-known and respected Orthodox rabbi. We lost the $250 registration fee from the other school. If I remember correctly – the Traditional Torah Day School – waived the registration fee. We were very satisfied with the education and the Yireat Shamayim they learned there.

The Torah day school staff was kind in letting us register at such a late date. Usually – registering for a Torah day school takes place about 8-10 months before school starts. We registered last minute.

That’s the best $250 I ever lost.

Of Angels and Animals – How to Rule Over Animals.

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Last week we read the first Parasha / Torah Reading of Bereshit / Genesis. Speaking of the creation of Man it says “You will rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the sky and all living creatures.” (Bereshit / Genesis 1:28)

When G-d made man the Torah says “Let us Make man… and He created man.” It should say let ME make man. Why does it say “Let US make man.” One explanation is that he was talking with the Earth. Man is composed of a physical Body made from earth and Spiritual soul that Hash-m supplies. Thus He said to the earth let us make man.

Another Explanation why it says “Let US make man” is that G-d has 10 attributes / Sephirot (Crown, Understanding, Wisdom, Strength, Kindness, Beauty, Splendor, Victory, Foundation & Kingship). He wanted to include them all in Man.

G-d wanted to teach the world a lesson – one should consult other people – even if they may not be as great as yourself. G-d consulted with the angels before creating man – Thus he said – “Let US create man.” When Hash-m actually created man – The Torah says “And Hash-m created {singular verb form} man.”

Another explanation is that G-d created man with all kinds of “animals” in him – at times he is bold like a leopard, or quick like the eagle, (see Pirkei Avot 5:20) or lazy like a sloth. It is up to man to overcome those animal instincts inside him. Thus it says – “You shall master over … the living creatures” – the creatures – inside a person.

When we do mitzvot, learn Torah and rule over our negative inclinations – we dominate our animals and become the way that man intended us to become. We become more like an angel. But really man is greater than an angel – if he uses his time for growing spiritually through Torah. If he follows his passions he becomes more like an animal.

Animals are naturally afraid of man. But when a man follows his animal inclinations – the animal sees the man as another animal and attacks him.

Once the Ohr HaChaim Hakadosh / Rabbi Haim Ben Attar – from Morocco – who wrote a commentary on the Torah – was sent into a lion’s cage by the sultan. The sultan was upset that he – a Jeweler by trade – did not make the Sultan’s Jewelry by the deadline. He took his Talit & Tephillin and Torah Sepharim / Books and sat there learning in the cage. The hungry lions were afraid to approach him.

The sultan saw this, realized that he was a Holy man and released the Ohr HaHaim – and apologized for doing so.

One of the ministers – sneered – perhaps the lions are not hungry. The sultan threw the minister in instead and the lions devoured him.

We can rule over the animals – if we rule over ourselves first.

Are People Really Insulting You? – the Woman Who Beat Up Her Husband

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A friend came up to me on Shabbat. “I am really upset – This person treated me like a bum. My aide and I were sitting quietly and he told me that we don’t sit here like a bum.”

What am I to do? Tell him that he didn’t do it. He did it.

I said – maybe the person who complained thought you were someone else.

I told him a true story.

Once a rabbi with a beard was peacefully walking down the street. A woman walked up to him and started yelling. “How dare you come to my neighborhood! After all the pain you caused me when we were married! You have no shame?!” Her anger turned violent. She started hitting him with her purse. “take that!”

“Excuse me lady. I am not your ex-husband.” She took a good look and apologized. Oh I am sorry – I thought you were my ex. He caused me so much pain. Forgive me.”

A friend asked him – were you upset at her after what she did to you? He replied “No. She wasn’t beating me up – she was beating up her ex-husband.”

At times a person insults you. He might not be angry at you – perhaps he or she had a bad day and you happen to be in the way of that person’s anger.

You can take it personally. You can use it to change for the better. Or you can say perhaps the anger is directed at someone else or something else I did at another time.

Who is Watching Over You

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I was pouring sugar into a spoon to put into my Coffee. The container suddenly let out a spurt of sugar over my spoon. Apparently – it was equal or less to the amount of sugar I usually put into my coffee. I thought – “why did that happen?”

Nothing is chance. I figured either G-d wanted to give me the amount of sugar I needed without me having to make the effort of measuring it out – or He wanted me to limit my sugar intake by allowing less than I usually take to fall into the coffee – yet, an amount that I would be satisfied with. I figured it was something that a parent would do.

Where is G-d

As a child prodigy, Rabbi Yonathan Eibeshutz was asked – I’ll give you a Ruble if you tell me where G-d is. He replied “I’ll give you a Ruble if you tell me where He is not.”

G-d is Everywhere

Hash-m is everywhere. In Hebrew G-d is called “HaMakom” – “the Place” because He is every place. It is not that G-d is in the world – the world is in G-d. G-d is infinite – the universe is finite.

Hash-m Helps based upon Belief

Hash-m helps all people. Yet he helps people based upon how much one believes in Him. One who has strong belief in Hash-m He will help more than one who doesn’t believe as much.

Winning the Lotto

My aunt – once needed to go to visit her parents. She has much emuna. She needed to pay for the plane ticket and travel expenses. She bought a lottery ticket and prayed very sincerely to Hash-m to help her make the money she needed.

She won over $2000 dollars that week – enough money to buy tickets and to pay for traveling expenses.

 

Hospital & Doctor Statistics – Should They Have Checks & Balances & Standards to Live up to as Well?

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In Torah it says – you shall surely guard your soul. One Meaning is – you should do your utmost to be, and remain healthy.

I was discussing the Covid era. Some Hospitals were marking the cause of certain non-covid related deaths as Covid-related. For Covid patients – they might have received $50,000 dollars per patient from the government.

I heard one hospital reported a Covid related death – when a person fell from a ladder.

OK. They can Report what they want. But there should be a consequence or a check and balance. For instance – let’s say they are obligated to report – amount of people treated – based upon who they bill. Then they would report – how many people healed. For instance let’s say 100 people were treated for covid – and 98 people survived. So they would have a 98% covid healing rate rate.So if they report more Covid related deaths – yes they would get more money from the government – but they would lose in terms of “percent of people healed by ailment” statistics. Thus they would not be so quick to report a death as Covid related. Their income might go up. But in the long term that doctor or hospital would lose customers because people would “shop” for the best hospital or doctor based upon statistics.

Caring Doctors would apply for jobs to hospitals that have high healing statistics. Or Caring doctors might go to hospitals with low healing statistics – to help bring up the healing statistics of the hospitals.

These statistics should be readily available for a person to make informed decisions. They do it for cars – shouldn’t they do it for hospitals.

I think also they should have statistics for amount cesarean sections per pregnancies. If the hospital is high in that statistic – women would have the information necessary to choose a hospital best suited for her needs.

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This Post is Dedicated to My Friend Reuven Ohayon, z”l – who recently succumbed to Covid.