Motorcycle Man and the Pitfalls of Dating

Motorcyclist Hitting the Open RoadMotorcycle man.

That motorcycle. So sleek and Strong. Attracts glare and stare.

What is 40K when you want to impress.

Wow. Look at the rider.

Muscles galore. And handsome too. Probably has a big wallet to afford that bike.

Smooth talker. Cool walker.

Maybe make a date?

No. Got to wait.

There is something to contemplate.

He has the personality – but what about the family?

Is the personality an act? or is it a fact?

what happens when the cards or down? Or the times? Does his facade come tumbling down?

Is the guy serious? Does he want to marry?

Is he nice? Or does he care too much about his bike?

Will he make a good father?

Will he bring his kids up to respect land and G-d?

Or just his hot-rod?

Does he even care about others. Or just his mother?

Is he in the relationship just for the fun? Does he care about anyone? Including you?

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I read a book – I believe it was called – The Magic Touch by Gila Manolson. She is an experienced teacher from the Discovery Seminar offers the thought-provoking Jewish perspective on Touching.

A story in the book is an eye opener on Dating. She is a professor and asks the class – How many are dating. Many raise their hands. She challenges them not to touch for one month. She leaves hurriedly. Some take her up on the challenge.

Those that take her up on the challenge lead them to discover their partner and some eventually get married. Why. Because when the physical aspect is put aide, it allows them to appreciate the other’s personality.

In the book she causes rife between certain couples because of the following question:

How many of you have the intention of marrying your dating partner?

A few raise their hands. One woman was sincerely ticked off because her dating partner who was taking the class with her did not raise his hand to the affirmative. All those years of dating was to satisfy his desire for companionship and fun. But he had no intention of tying the not. All those years, that she could have been building a family were lost with one question.

In Jewish Law a man does not generally touch a woman unless she is his mother, daughter or wife.

Touching and familiarity leads to intimacy. When intimacy starts, the heart takes over and objective thinking takes a backseat.

There’s more to touching than most of us realize.

Today, people date for a good time. They swing from person to person – till they realize it is too late. They should have thought about building a family or getting married when they were younger.

Dating according to Torah is to get to know if the person is right for marriage.

Sit down. Take some time off from the rat race. Where are you going. Are your relationships fruitful or dead-end.

The Torah tells us look at the good character traits.

Before you are entangled in a relationship – ask:
Is the partner Jewish? (If you are Jewish)
Will the partner follow the 7 Noahide laws?
Will they make a good husband or wife?
Will they want to keep a kosher home?
Do they have values that are in congruence with the Torah’s?
Are they kind hearted?
Are they honest?
Are they open to growth or do they want remain at the status quo?
Will they bring up the children according the pleasant paths of the Torah?
Will they send the children to a Jewish Day school or a Yeshiva?
Do they want to learn Torah regularly?

Nice Motorcycle. But how far will it get you?

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