Some people irk you.

You remember the bad things they did vaguely.

Still have a bad feeling for what they did?

The Torah says “Don’t Bear a Grudge”

It explains the difference between revenge and a grudge.

Revenge is :

You want to borrow a shovel from your neighbor. He says no you can’t use his shovel. The next day he asks to use your lawn-mower. You say “Just like you didn’t lend me your shovel I refuse to lend you my lawn-mower”

This is revenge.

A grudge is :

You want to borrow a shovel from your neighbor. He says no you can’t use his shovel. The next day he asks to use your lawn-mower. You say “Yes I will lend you my lawn-mower, because I am not like you who refused me yesterday.”

This is a grudge.

So how can we get over these feelings of animosity.

One way is to write the name of the person on a piece of paper. Then write all the good things they did for you and all good things about them. Just brainstorm – write as much as you can, don’t judge the answers.

(This person can even be yourself)

Then look at the list to appreciate the person’s good.

Another way :

I noticed that if a person sometimes meets an acquaintance in another city, they are very happy to see them. So imagine that you are in another city when you meet your acquaintance.

Read books about the importance of loving one’s fellow – like loving one’s fellow Jew by the Chofetz Chaim.

Let positive thoughts flow in your mind and push out the negative.

When animosity leaves, peace of mind enters, and your self control is boosted.