The reason we were brought to this world is to achieve our purpose in life. The Torah was given not only for the commandments that guide us to act with propriety but also to guide us on a path of purposeful pleasure – like doing acts of kindness – to help us achieve our purpose in life. Only through Torah Observance and regular Torah study will a person learn and achieve the purpose that their soul was brought down to achieve.

A woman is the crown of her husband and the Queen of the house. She is the foundation of the home. Through her mitzvot – being Tzanuah / modest according to Torah, following laws of family purity, enrolling her children in Torah day schools, encouraging her husband to learn Torah – she builds a bedrock foundation for the family for the future generations. She is more appreciated by her husband. She achieves her purpose and finds happiness in all her toil – for it is to help build the Jewish nation.

When Selecting a Proper Life-Mate, the Torah advises that one should act like a King – Melech. (Mem, Lamed, Chaf)

Mem – First One Should Use their Moach / Mind to reflect upon the qualities one is searching for in a mate, see if the potential mate is Jewish, has solid Torah values, wants to grow in Judaism, Has Good Character traits, & are attractive. Once all considerations are in order, one can marry.

Lamed – After marriage comes love coming from Lev – heart

Chaf – Caved – Liver – the Initiator of Passion.

One Should not do the Opposite, First Have Passion, then Have feelings for the other and then Think if this is the right mate. At that point one is no longer completely rational or impartial for feelings taint the decision. If one does follow this order – Caf, Lamed, Mem. They become kalem – embarrassed.

One Reason that Intermarriage is disallowed in Judaism is because the way to achieve one’s purpose is through Torah. The spiritual growth of the family is dependant on Torah observance. When both members of the couple are Jewish – the family can have a common bearing point to grow – the Torah. If they are not it leads to confusion of the children, lack of achieving one’s purpose in life and stress between in-laws and grandparents. Those that are already intermarried can at least have the non-Jewish spouse convert.

Chosing a life of purposeful pleasure is the way of the Torah. Let’s not squander precious years of life pursuing pleasure without purpose by following infatuation. The Torah says to choose Life – Life of the Torah.