Little Acts that Changed lives

A screen writer wrote an article. Once he was eating in a non-kosher restaurant on Shabbat. He was sitting with a friend. His friend remarked that a religious Jewish family was walking together from a Kollel / Torah Study Institute. They were dressed in beautiful clothing, walking and interacting naturally happy. The friend remarked “I feel sorry for those kids.” He replied “I am sure they feel much more sorry for you.” The sight and his own words stirred something in his heart. Little by little it influenced him to investigate Judaism and eventually he became an observant orthodox Jew.

That family had no idea that they influenced the man. But after they go to the next world they will be rewarded for having brought this man back to Teshuva / Repentance to Judaism.

This story is found a in a book called – “One Small Deed Can Change The World” by Nachman Seltzer. Rabbi Feifer of the Agudah Yisrael of Bayswater said a story.

Once an overprotected child was sent on a bus from Benei Berak to Jerusalem to deliver a package to his uncle. His uncle was to wait for him at the bus station in Jerusalem. The boy boarded the bus with the package in his suitcase.

He fell asleep. When he woke up – he found himself in Teveria. Scared, he disembarked and searched for a phone. A hippy kiosk owner was closing up shop. He let him phone his parents. The boy didn’t know where to spend the night. The kiosk owner told him to sleep by him. He did so. He remembered that he did not say Arvit / the night prayer. He was shaken by the entire experience. He prayed fervently Arvit. The next day he was woken by the man and took a morning bus to Jerusalem.

About 20 years later – he decided to search for the kiosk owner to pay him back for the money he gave him to take the bus to Jerusalem. He finally found him in a kiosk next to the bus station. He reminded him who he was. Exuberant, the man lifted the young father in the air. The kiosk owner took out a picture. He showed him the picture of his observant Jewish family. He told him – after he witnessed the boy praying Arvit – he realized a person can have a personal creation with the Creator / Hashem.

His fervent prayer influenced the kiosk owner to explore Judaism and motivated him to have a close connection with the creator and build a beautiful Jewish family. One Small Deed Can Change The World.

Judging Your Fellow Favorably

A student of the baal shem tov – saw a fellow talmid – student praying on Yom Kippur.  The student – feeling weak – pulled out a box of tobacco snuff to take a sniff.  Noticing the gesture,  he looked at the act with derision. “on one of the holiest days of the year he is looking to sniff tobacco?” he thought.

The baal shem tov took note of this.  The student was studying one day before him.  He prayed that he would be distracted.  Distracted, the student could not concentrate.  He tried to concentrate to no avail.  Finally he took out his snuff box and took a sniff. He realized his distraction was due to his derision of the other talmid on Yom Kippur. He did teshuva – repented for his lack of judging favorably and was able to concentrate again.

Shana Tova U Metukah – A Good and Sweet Year

The way something starts sets the tone for the continuation. Thus we make signs to eat in the Rosh Hashana Seder.

Once someone proposed a shidduch- match to a young bachur – Torah learner. He said – “ask me after Rosh Hashana – the new year. Because I didn’t pray to Hashem for a good shidduch last Rosh Hashana. I will pray on the new year so the prayer will be fulfilled and have an effect on the shidduch. “

Shana Tova.

Learning from the Royal Family of England

We are the family – a royal family.

Royalty obliges royalty to act in a manner befitting them.

Things to learn from the Royal Family.

Story number one –

Once the royal family of England held a reception. Margaret Thatcher – then Prime Minister- attended. She was dismayed when she noticed that the queen was wearing the same dress as she was wearing. It was not proper respect for someone to wear the clothes same as the queen. She tried to find a way to be inconspicuous, but was unable. After the reception she wrote a letter to the queen excusing herself. The queen responded that she did not even notice she was wearing the same dress. Royalty is above little Petty details. Noblesse oblige.

Another story:

Once an Orthodox rabbi attended the Royal Banquet in England. He notified the staff that he only ate kosher and had special needs. The
staff made special Arrangements the rabbi to eat kosher. In the Royal banquets special cutlery and China is used that has the insignia of the
Royal Family. The staff arranged that he would have new silverware and China that was dipped in a Mikvah and obviously kosher food be served
to him.

Somehow seating arrangements changed and he had to move from his seat. To take the silverware and the China with him to the new seat would be uncomfortable for him to do in front of all the people. Nevertheless he took his China and his silverware to his new seat. Prince Charles (now the king) noticed him carrying his plate. After
the reception Prince Charles asked him why he carried his plates. The rabbi replied that he kept kosher and he had to take his special plates
that was arranged for him with him to assure that he ate kosher.


Prince Charles was impressed. Another Jew that was not observant of the Jewish laws of Kashrut / keeping kosher remarked to the prince “I
am also Jewish”. Prince Charles replied “I didn’t notice you carrying your plates to your new place.”

Two messages:

1 – Learn from nobility. We are the children of Israel. The children of Hashem. Thus we are also nobility. Nobility overlooks petty details.

2. By observing the Torah we gained favor in the eyes of others. But more importantly, we gain favor in the eyes concussion of Hashem.

The Man who Converted to Judaism because of Shoes

I was speaking with a friend. He said people commented to him that they would observe Torah Judaism (a better name for Orthodox Judaism) if there weren’t as many prohibitions. He told them “But look at all the things you can do!”

I told him it’s much more than that. It’s that by doing Mitzvot you improve your world tremendously. By doing Shabbat – one person will say – I can’t do it. I can’t drive.. I can’t go shopping. I can’t light a fire. I can’t use the phone, internet, other media and electronic games

But really, by not doing all those things you are guided to spend time with your friends and family. you are guided to focus on priorities in life. After 120 years, when a person is about to die he or she will not say, it is too bad I should have shopped more. They will say it’s too bad I would have liked to spend more time with loved ones.

Doing Mitzvot you change the world for the good. You have more meaning for every mitzvah that you do. Every mitzvah is an opportunity to improve. it’s a beracha – blessing.

A religion or movement that tries to reduce the commandments from people is completely missing the point. Every mitzvah is an opportunity to connect in a meaningful way with others and with Hashem. why do I want to limit connection?

A man converted to Judaism. Asked “why?” – he responded “there is a mitzvah – commandment (rabbinical ) to tie your shoes a particular way. I wanted to be in a religion that G-d is with me even agent I tie my shoes.”

Rabbi Yissocher Frand Transcript of Speech at 12th Siyum Hashas

I was looking up the Transcript of the speech of Rabbi Yissochar Frand – Rosh Yeshiva of Ner Yisrael Yeshiva in Baltimore – he made During the 12th Siyum HaShas at MetLife Stadium in 2012. I didn’t find it. Here is one I tried to put together:

 

Birshus Rabbanan verabosai. The DAF – it’s become so common an expression that it is no longer the DAF Yomi but merely the DAF. It’s become a proper noun. It’s part of our daily manner you’re speaking. Expressions like did you do the DAF, where’s the DAF holding are part of our lexicon. But according to Mayor Shapiro, it’s so much more than a mere figure of speech.

The Gemara in, Yevomos, relates how Raban Gamliel once saw a ship sink with Rebbi Akiva aboard. He was sure that he had drowned. Rabi Akiva miraculously appeared before him. Raban Gamaliel asked him, How were you saved? Amar Li Daf Shel Sefina Nizdamen Li. The simple translation of that is that Rabi Akiva was saved by holding on to a plank [Daf] of the ship, a daf. But the word daf in the word daf. Mayor Shapiro saw clear metaphor. It’s the daf that saves so many of us from drowning as well. Maybe not in the turbulence of the sea. But the turbulence that sometimes is our lives.

Put succinctly via the haunting pasuk nigun that we know the haunting pasuk that we know, from that haunting Nigun Lulay Sorascha Shaashuai azavadi beoni. If not for your Torah that was my delight, I would have been lost in my pain. And this is what Rav Mayer Shapiro try to convey. That it is Limud HaTorah, Bichlal. And the Daf Yomy befrat that is our life preserver. It’s the life line that we all need.

And that’s very expression “lifeline” – someone wrote to me to describe his relationship with Daf Yomi. Suffice it to say that this person had had a difficult life. He was a Yasom [orphan] at an early age, she had very little money. He had several medical medical issues, and he did have an easy time socially. And here here’s what he wrote me after the last Siyum HaShas [completion of the Talmud] seven and a half years ago. I have been out of yeshiva for two years, and I had barely learned a word. I was not all that happy with myself. I would come home at night and stare at my 19 inch color companion. And I realized that this had to stop. So I tried Daf Yomi. As I sat in Madison Square Garden last Tuesday night, I was on the ail tail end of a roller coaster ride. I had not had the greatest muscle socially, job wise, city wise, and the list goes on. But what I did have was a lifeline. A constant companion on the train at the doctor’s office late at night, early in the morning a trusted companion who would never let me down even if everything else and everybody else would. All this companion asked for me is that I visit it every day for an hour or so. So I can hear what he has to say.

It’s the same message that the Gerer Reber once told it’s a tzebrachen Yid, a broken Jew who had recently lost his wife, and was very, very lonely and he cried to the Reber from the depths of his solitude. The rebbe told him Ov Yid the hot a blatt Gemara. Is a Kanmal nishta lane. If a Jew has a blatt Gomorrah, he’s never alone. Which one of us wouldn’t want such a companion?

Limud HaTorah is so much more than just another mitzvah. It is life itself. Those words “Ki Hem Hainu veOrech Yamainu” are to be taken literally which helps us explain the famous Gemara in Masechta Yuma that Hillel hazaken used to spend half of his daily wages to gain entry into the Beis Hamedrash, and one day when he couldn’t find work and had no money, he went up to the roof in the dead of winter, and listened from the skylight. Aloי venitlah veyashav al pee I Aruba kedai Sheyishma divrei Elokim Haim Mipi Shemaya veavtalion [Yoma 35b] the Hofets Haim asks, that this Gomorrah seems to contradict the well known Halakha that one should not spend more than 20% of his assets in the performance of a mitzvah. Why then did Hillel seemingly violate this halacha by spending 50% of his meager wages in the performance of a mitzvah?

I once heard the Chofets Haim himself in Likutei Halakhas alludes to this, and that is because the Gomorrah uses an expression that the Gomorrah rarely used. Matter of fact, it’s the only time in all of Shas Bavli that the Gomorrah uses this expression to describe a Shiur. And that is “kedai Sheyishma divrei Elokim Haim Mipi Shemaiah veAvtalion.” This wasn’t just a shiur. This wasn’t just another mitzvah to Hillel. This was divrei Elokim haim. This was life itself. And for life itself. There are no spending limits. To Hillel. This was his lifeline. And when he couldn’t afford it, he listened from the skylight he Hillel truly believed in those words, Ki hem Hayeynu veOrekh Yamenu.

And in some level, we all feel like this, perhaps not consciously, but somewhere in the recesses of our souls. We know this to be true.

Rabbi Aaron Paperman was a chaplain during World War Two and after the war was over, he would visit DP camps to provide for the needs of the Holocaust survivors. And he’d ask each of the survivors Vas daf dir. What do you need? And the answer would invariably come back “Ich daf a porshich”. I need a pair of shoes. Ich daf a poor Hoisan. I need a pair of pants. However, there was one Yid, his name was Mr. Seeger. He was a bobover Hasid. He had a strange request Rabbi paperman asked him “Vas Daf dir?” What do you need? His response was “ich DAF a Baba Kama”

Rabbi Paperman said to him, Y’a, y’a ober “Vas Daf dir?” What do you really need? And again, the same response ich DAF a baba Kama – until Rabbi Paperman finally realized that that is what he really wanted. And it was successful and getting him a gemara Baba Kama that he Yid knew with his entire being that besides for clothes and shelter, and food and water, every Yid needs something else he needs a Baba Kama. Ki Hem Hayeinu Ve Orech Yameinu.

And there’s another factor that motivates people to learn the DAF Yomi even in our day and age, when our Mayer Shapiro started this magnificent program. It had a natural attraction. A Jew in Europe, who toured it toiled a menial job during the day, saw learning at night as an escape from a difficult reality. This was his hour of enjoyment. This was his relaxation, a respite from a life that was full of privation. But today, there are so many distractions, so much to occupied one’s time, so much out there that dazzles the eye on the imagination. And yet, people will rise at 5am or begin at 11pm. To do what? to study a text written more than 1500 years ago, in a difficult language, which is intellectually challenging, with many arcane subjects. And this has to compete with other pursuits that seems so much more alluring. They will do this in planes In some trains and in buses, they will do this during Hasanus this waiting for the Huppa they will do this in doctor offices and in Supermarket checkout lines, they and their wives and their family and their children will bend their schedules to make this happen. Why? How do we explain the inexplicable? Perhaps it’s because people realize that Torah is real, and everything else, no matter how dazzling is just fake.

The Pasuk / passage describes mattan Torah as the Ribono Shel Olam speaking to Klal Israel Kol GadDol velO yasaf a mighty voice Velo yosaf. Rashi says that the words Velo yasaf means that the voice never stopped. But where is that voice? Have you heard it? My good friend Rabbi Jakob luban told me that he heard from his rebe rebe Elya Svae, who heard from his Rebe, Reb Ahron Kotler that that voice is the voice of the rebono Shel Olam talking to the man through the Torah and when one Yid learns Torah He still hears the reverberation of the Rebono Shel Olam. Speaking to man, that is the power of Limud HaTorah – that is how the DAF competes and the DAF Trumps.
because it is the real thing, and everything else is just fake. It is the power of the authenticity of Torah and we’re hearing another voice today.

The MedDRAsh says on Reb Yehoshua ben Levi Bekhol yom veYom bas kol, yotzat mehar horev ve omeret oy lahem la beriot me’elbona shel Torah that every day, a heavenly voice bemoans the fact that Yidden not learning enough. Well. Have you ever heard that Bas Kol? If you’re like most people, you will answer No, I haven’t. But in truth, we’ve all heard that bas koll all be it faintly the Baal Shem Tov was said that that Bas Kol is the herehurei Teschuva the thoughts of Techuva that we have from time to time, when we think I really should be learning more, or unreasonably wasting my time with this. That is that Bas Kol. But sometimes it’s too fleeting. It’s too faint. And we squelch it. And we quash it and we ignore it. But today, sitting here among 90,000 people we do hear that Bas Kol – it’s the clarion call that emanates from the stadium that shouts “learn more.”
We can’t say we don’t hear it. We hear it loud and clear. And today we cannot squelch it.

Today we must respond. And today we must leave here with a plan.
if you’ve never learned that DAF Yomi then tomorrow is the day to start. If this is your second or third time finishing shas that you ask yourself must ask yourself how am I going to do better next time around? Maybe go to a shear Iyun once a week on the Sugya of the DAF maybe learn the daf in the morning and go to shiur hazara At night. maybe be so bold as to take tests on the Daf. And if you can’t learn then a Daf a day then make it an Amud day are a daf of Mishna Berura a day or a mishna a day but something a day

But we must respond to that bas kol that we can no longer ignore and leave here with a plan. And that was the message there of Nosson Tzvi shared with the Yid named Reb Nochom Stillerman, Mr. Stillerman after retiring moved to Eretz Yisrael in honor of his 70th birthday, he finished Masechta Shabbos an accomplishment he proudly shared with Nosson Tzvi Finckel. Rav Nosson Tzvi congratulated him but told him that that’s not enough, go back and figure out a plan how you could finish Shas. He came back with a printout and figured out that by learning 10 hours a day, it would take him 23 years to finish Shas. Rav Nosson Tzvi’s reaction was “now that’s a plan.”

Mr. Stillerman, however, had a different reaction. I’ll be 93 by the time I finish, how can I undertake a plan that I cannot possibly finish? Rav Nosson Tsvi Finkel – by then afflicted with debilitating Parkinson’s disease for more than 28 years, struggled mightily from his seat. And while shaking, he reached under the table cloth and pulled out more of his plans for the expansion of the Mirrer, Yeshiva. And he turned to Mr. Stillerman. And he asked Him “and do you think I can do what I’m doing? Look at me!”

But he had a plan. And that’s what he demanded from Mr. Stillerman – a plan. And that’s what’s demanded from us today. A plan and if it’s sometimes B, B seems beyond our koachos [power]. All we have to do is picture in our mind’s eye Rav Nosson Tsvi Finkel. Mr. Stillman once had another conversation with Rav Nosson Tsvi. Years earlier of Nosson Tzvi had commented to Mr. Sillerman incredulously that maybe his Parkinson’s disease was an onesh a punishment for not learning Torah Lishma.

Mr. Sillerman sometimes sometime later offered a different approach as to why the Rosh Yeshiva had to suffer based on Yerushalmi Masechta Horayos, Yerushalmi says in Masechta Horious. That would Moshe Rabbeinu learned Torah on Har Sinai, from the Rebona Shell Olam, he would forget immediately what he learned until at the end the Rebona Shell Olam gave him the entire Torah as a gift. But why did Moshe have to suffer and endure this frustrating experience of learning and forgetting and learning and forgetting and learning and forgetting? Says the Yerushalmi – Koll Kokh lama? la haChzir es hatipshim, so that people who forget their learning won’t give up and say, what’s the use? It’s an exercise in futility. I forget anyway. MoShe Rabeinu provides the counterargument Mr. Stillerman suggested that maybe the Rosh Yeshiva had to suffer from his illness to provide living proof that one can learn even if it’s difficult, like. Like the man I heard about two nights ago, who was member of A daf yomi me in Brooklyn, but in the middle of the cycle, became blind. But he would go to the DAF every day in spite of his blindness. He was the first to come and the last to leave to learn real Torah She Be’al Peh.

Rav Nosson Tsvi leaned over and kissed Mr. Stillerman and quoting the Gomorrah in Masechta Maccos. He told him Akiva Nikhamtanu. Akiva Nikhamtanu. You have comforted me. In our generation, we had a Rav Nosson Tsvi Finkel, an American born boy, raised in Chicago, Illinois. A graduate of every crown day school who became a gadol beyIsrael. Most of us will never become a Rav Nosson Tsvi Finkle. But he taught us all something. Even if we never stepped here in the Mirrer Yeshiva. He taught us never to give up. He taught us not to say this is too hard. He taught us to always have a plan. He taught us to aim higher. He taught us to reach beyond. And he taught us that beyond your reach is really within your grasp.

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SUMMARY KEYWORDS daf hayomi , torah learning , stillerman , daf yomi , torah , life , finkel , gemara , hillel , rav , people , bas kol , shiur , mitzvah , shapiro , plan , daf , lifeline ,

Story of R. Chaim Kanievsky and the Man with Half-Face Paralysis

A man suffering from paralysis of half the face – possibly Bell’s palsy ailment – where half the face droops – came to Rabbi Chaim Kanievsky, zt”l. He explained his disorder to him and asked for a blessing. Rabbi Kanievsky thought a moment and asked the man “Are you willing to wear a beard?”

After some contemplation – he replied “Yes”.

R. Kanievsky said “it Says in the Torah ‘VeHadarta Penei Zaken'” (Vayikra / Leviticus 19:22) – you shall honor the countenance of the elderly – meaning you shall respect an elder. Words in Hebrew have vowels separate from the consonants. The Word Zaken (Zayin, Kuf, Nun) can also be pronounced Zakan – meaning “beard”. Taking the phrase with those vowels now the verse would read ‘VeHadarta Penei Zakan’ – which changes the meaning to “A Bearded face will be Beautified.”

He grew the beard and the slowly his Bells Palsy was cured.

 

The Secret Parallels in the Megillah of Esther

I Listen to a Rabbi named Rabbi Shaked Bohdana / הרב שקד בוהדנה.

Everything is accounted for in life. What goes around comes around is a Jewish concept. It is called Midah Keneged Midah / measure for measure. You are kind – the kindness comes back.

There is reward and punishment. There is a second chance. G-d allows us to do teshuva (repent).

Rabbi Bohdana says that the Ariz”l says that Mordechai was the Gilgul / reincarnation of Yaakov Avinu. Haman was the Gilgul of Esav – Yaakov’s Brother.

Yaakov erred in bowing to Esav. He bowed to Esav 7 times. His 4 wives followed his action and bowed to Esav. Each of the 11 sons of Yaakov also bowed. Yaakov caused 22 bowings to Esav. In the story of Purim Mordechai – refused to bow to Haman. He repaired the error he made. We read the word “BeOmram” as “KeOmram”. One is written with Bet. The other with a Kaf. The values of each are 2 and 20 respectively. Added together is 22.

Yaakov bought the Birthright from Esav. Esav had animosity because of this. Mordechai bought Haman as a slave. Haman had animosity because of this.

It uses the word “VaYibez” when Esav denigrated the Birthright in Bereshit / Genesis.

It uses the word “VaYibez” when Haman denigrated that it would not be proper to destroy Mordechai – because it would look like a personal vendetta.

Another Parallel is – the 10 sons of Haman are hung. In the Megillah Esther asks the King to Hang the sons of Haman again Tomorrow. When it says “The King” in the Megillah – it also refers to Hashem. She asked Hashem to kill the sons of Haman / Amalek again.

In the Megillah – the Book of Esther (9:6-10), where the 10 sons of evil Haman are killed, three Hebrew letters are written smaller than the rest. These letters [Taf (400), Shin (300), Zayin (7)] when added to 5000 (Hay”), add up to 5707. This is the Hebrew year (1946-1947 C.E.) when 10 Nazi war criminals were hung in Nuremberg, Germany (October 16, 1946) for their atrocious crimes against humanity.

The Motorcycle of My Youth – Dreams Dashed for the Good

In my youth, our family took vacations with my cousins in Washington, DC. They really lived in Silver Spring – Maryland. But we called it Washington anyway.

I would hang out with my cousins. We would go on trips together. We roasted marshmallows by their fireplace. My older cousin would tell me spooky stories with a funny ending. On Shabbat I would take long walks and talks with my cousin. For some reason we would end up by some parking lot – when we would then return home.

My uncle – Jacques – married to my father’s sister – would welcome us. We were part of the family. At the Shabbat Table and in general – he would tell puns and jokes that required some thinking. We dubbed them “Tonton Jacques Jokes.” (“Tonton” is Uncle in French).

One of his classics was when we were walking on Rosh Hashana to do Tashlich on – when we go by a body of water to release our sins – like it says in the Pasuk / Verse in Micha 7:19 :

יָשׁ֣וּב יְרַֽחֲמֵ֔נוּ יִכְבֹּ֖שׁ עֲוֺֽנֹתֵ֑ינוּ וְתַשְׁלִ֛יךְ בִּמְצֻל֥וֹת יָ֖ם כָּל־חַטֹּאותָֽם׃

He will take us back in love;
He will cover up our iniquities,
You will hurl all our (iHeb. “their.”) sins
Into the depths of the sea.

Walking to Tashlich, Tonton Jacques turned back to us and said with a smile “Depeche Vous!” / Hurry Up You (pl).

Peche in French Means “Sin”. “De” as a prefix in French – like in English means to remove – like in Desalinate. His words had a double meaning – “Hurry Up” & “Remove Your Sins”. I guess the joke is funnier when you hear it in French.

Tonton Jacques loved to buy old stuff from the auctions. I remember walking into his office. He had all these neat machines. Once he took me to an auction. I eyed one of the items – it was a spiffy motorcycle. Although – I was around 10 at the time – I really wanted him to buy the Motorcycle for me. I imagined myself riding it. I hinted to him – wow – that motorcycle looks like a bargain. He didn’t get the hint. I think He ended up buying a box full of miscellaneous office items. I was upset – but I got over it.

Looking back I am grateful he didn’t buy that Motorcycle. I don’t think the police would have taken kindly to a 10-year old riding a Motorbike. Also – it is safer to drive a car. I also wanted a car in Washington. I was attracted by the Triumph TR7. But that faded as well.

I didn’t get the Motorcycle – but I did take some serious bicycle trips in Washington. I would take a bottle of water and some Moroccan cookies and went riding into the city. Once I ended up next to Walter Reed Veteran Hospital. I didn’t know how to get back. No GPS in those days. No Cell Phones either.

I was lost. I wasn’t so observant when I was young. But I did pray. I remember connecting to G-d. I spoke with Him in my own language. I remember praying once when walking to school “G-d – if You exist – make a lightening bolt strike next to where I am walking far enough for me not to get hurt.” Lightening never struck. I didn’t see the proof of G-d that way – but I saw it in other ways.

I needed help finding home base. Hash-m kept me – a young boy lost in the streets of Washington DC – without a helmet (it wasn’t required by law those days) – safe.

I knew my cousins lived by Second Avenue in Silver Spring and 16th street. I guess I asked some people and I found my way home, Barukh Hash-m.

Are People Really Insulting You? – the Woman Who Beat Up Her Husband

A friend came up to me on Shabbat. “I am really upset – This person treated me like a bum. My aide and I were sitting quietly and he told me that we don’t sit here like a bum.”

What am I to do? Tell him that he didn’t do it. He did it.

I said – maybe the person who complained thought you were someone else.

I told him a true story.

Once a rabbi with a beard was peacefully walking down the street. A woman walked up to him and started yelling. “How dare you come to my neighborhood! After all the pain you caused me when we were married! You have no shame?!” Her anger turned violent. She started hitting him with her purse. “take that!”

“Excuse me lady. I am not your ex-husband.” She took a good look and apologized. Oh I am sorry – I thought you were my ex. He caused me so much pain. Forgive me.”

A friend asked him – were you upset at her after what she did to you? He replied “No. She wasn’t beating me up – she was beating up her ex-husband.”

At times a person insults you. He might not be angry at you – perhaps he or she had a bad day and you happen to be in the way of that person’s anger.

You can take it personally. You can use it to change for the better. Or you can say perhaps the anger is directed at someone else or something else I did at another time.