Once a ruler wanted to know how Moshe Rabbeinu / Moses looked. He summoned a painter to paint a picture of him. Looking at the picture – the ruler said – this cannot be Moshe. This person gets angry, can be violent and has other negative tendencies. The ruler was right – Moses by nature had these negative tendencies – but he overcame them.

This is our Job in life to overcome our negative tendencies and use our positive traits to reach or potential in perfecting the world with the guidance of the Torah.

Some people say – just accept me the way I am. But really, everyone can improve.

Using Face Reading for Sensitivity

The basic principle of the Torah is to love a fellow like one’s self. In order to do that – one is attuned to the needs of others.

Once a Rabbi & Director of a School in Israel (I believe it was R. Aryeh Levine – the Tzadik of Yerushalayim / Righteous person from Jerusalem) was watching children enter the school building. He asked his son: “What do you see?” He replied – this one has a nice book bag, this one has a ball, this one has a hole in his pants… His father replied – I see this one is happy to come to school, this one did not have a good breakfast, this one was upset by a family member. He was looking at the needs of others to be able to help them in the way that he could.

To one he would give breakfast, another a kind word, another a pat on the shoulder. This is a goal for us as well to better ourselves – to be attuned to the needs of others. One way is through face reading.

Face Reading Secrets for Successful Relationships Lecture

The face is the window to a person’s soul. The Hebrew word for face – פנים panim also means the inside. With Face Reading one is able to understand the ways people think, the reasons for their behavior, and the means to satisfy their needs. Face Reading or Human Morphology is used by human resource directors to determine the personality of job applicants. The married use it to explore the feelings of their spouse. Singles use it to gain an idea of the potential mate’s personality.

Dr. Peter Reznik, LCSW, Ph.D. Author of “Face Reading Secrets for Successful Relationships: A guidebook to understanding yourself and others” gave a Free lecture on Face Reading in Forest Hills – MJO Shaar HaShamayim Synagogue.

He Explained the 4 personality types – Bilious, Sanguine, Nervous & Lymphatic. Each one has unique qualities associated with them. Bilious is results oriented and likes to be right. Bilious is less-social but positively pessimistic. Lymphatic – is kind and sensitive. Sanguine is the sports person. Nervous is social but negatively pessimistic. Based upon the shape of someone’s face one can determine the other’s unique personality traits.

He gave examples of each temperament using contemporary popular personalities.

Using this powerful tool he explained how one gains vital, life saving knowledge. Human Morphology can help one to resolve misunderstandings and power struggles in existing relationships. Morphology can aid in the start off a new relationship with someone who has character traits that complement one’s own temperament and personality;

Singles & Face Reading

Today, singles use a plethora of aids to find out about their potential mate. The ask references – like teachers, co-workers & friends. They examine their dating resume. Now they have a new technique – Face Reading – to help them determine if the person before them is a potential marriage partner.

Although one cannot read minds, one could still tell what a friend is thinking with face reading. You can tell the aspects of a person’s personality or his or her thoughts based upon cues from the person’s face.

What can a single glance tell you about a person? If you know what to look for…PLENTY! The Science and Art of Face Reading (Human Morphology) is a key to discovering essential information about the people in your life, the people you are going to meet and yourself! There are references to Face Reading in the book of Shemot / Exodus, the book of Yehsahya/ Isaiah, Kohelet / Ecclesiastes and Zohar.

The Lecture is a part of New Community Outreach initiative of the MJO / Shaar Hashamayim Synagogue in Forest Hills. The initiative includes – programs for children – like children’s Shabbat Parties, Hebrew School & Father & Son Learning. Adults participate in Services, Shabbat Lunches & Sunday Breakfasts & Free Torah Study for Teens & Adults. This Lecture was followed by a chance to speak with the Author. For More Info please contact – MJO Shaar HaShamayim Synagogue, 112-21 72nd Ave, Forest Hills, NY 11375. 718.962.4872

If one would like the recording please email us at jenet@iname.com.

Young. Bold. And daring, I didn’t care to conform to the norm. I used to wear two different color sneakers. I believe one was red, the other black. I wore two watches on one wrist and a Felix the cat hat. In university, i got stares, but after a quick look they would continue on their way.

No matter. I didn’t care what people thought. But i did care what people felt.

I don’t think anyone ever asked me why i dressed such.

I was making a statement. Nothing about fashion. It was about not conforming to society. My clothes were to get people to think. But apparently no one got it.

I subscribed to the old adage that parents use to make the children feel guilty or at least hope to make them feel guilty for mimicking a no-no of their friend “If your friend jumped out the window would you do the same?”

Be Yourself

Other students also were different, but apparently for another reason – to fit into the cool group. It was cool to be different. But that reason was antithesis to being unique. They were being unique to belong. I was being different to say to the world “Don’t just follow. Be Yourself!”

There was a method to my distinctiveness.

Many years later I find myself alone in my mission. Many of my acquaintances faded away into their own lives. Faded into the background of conformity. Passed that stage of life or just matured. Each one going their own way.

The Problem of Conforming

So what’s so bad about conforming?

Nothing, if you are conforming for the good.

On the other hand conforming can destroy, when many people do the popular, without thought of the long term negative effects.

I mimic my newspaper. I mimic my society. I mimic my work associates. The best way to melt into the melting pot and dissolve your own uniqueness.

For a person to be happy, they must be themselves. In trying to belong they gain friends but lose themselves.

Like a rabbi I know said “If you try to be like others, you are not the other. You are not yourself. You are nobody.”

Strong, but true.

How To Be Me

Being oneself starts with asking questions. The Torah tells you to question.

Is it right? Is it wrong?
Is it good? Is it bad?
Is it good for society or not?
Is it in my best interest?
Is it good for the long term education & upbringing of my kids?
Does it make sense?
Am I accomplishing the good that I can be or am I wasting my time?
Am i being myself? Or am i being a clone?
Am I achieving my purpose? Do I know my purpose?
Am I achieving my potential?
Am I true to myself?
Am I true to my G.d?
Am I fair? Or am I biased?
Do I hate? Why? Is the hate justified? Are my emotions driving my behavior?
Are my thoughts consistent with G-d’s view?
Are my views and actions consistent with Torah halacha / law?

Am I afraid of truth?
Am I afraid of Judaism?
Do I put Judaism into a stereotype of religions?
Is my religion true? How Do I know?

Is there one true law of G-d?

What does G-d want from me?

What is the true law of G-d? Why?

Am I being biased by my upbringing, newspapers I read, society I live in?

Do I care? Are my positions rational?
Do I believe in G.d?
Do I recognize the kindness of G.d to me on a daily basis?
Do I recognize my blessings?
Am I consistent?
Am I being me? Or am I just doing the convenient swinging from one branch of pleasure to another going around in circles?

How do I Perceive Myself? How do others Perceive me?

What are others attitudes towards me?

Is my Torah observance correct in the eyes of G.d?
Am I or am I not?

The Torah is the guidepost that G.d gave us to determine if we are achieving.

Truth – the Antidote to Conformity & Secret to Living

What is the path to not conform? It is to do the truth. Many people following religions without thinking fall into the category of conformists. I do it because others do it. Before one does one should see if it makes sense. Is it the right thing to do in the eyes of men & G-d? Liberalism, Capitalism – all the “ism”s can be regarded as a religion. The only one that cannot is following the path of truth and goodness.

Mercy can be cruelty. If one is merciful with a terrorist – he is cruel with the society. Being merciful – is good – if the repercussions are taken into account. But Being merciful – just because one’s heart says so – may lead to cruelty.

Liberalism is letting people do what they want. Yes, that is fine as long as it does not impinge on the long-term good for the society. Who knows what is good for the Society in the long-term? G-d – who wrote the Torah.

Thinking out Your Position Before You Adapt it

Let’s take same gender marriage. G-d says – No for it is forbidden in the Seven Noahide Laws. The US Supreme Court says Yes. In Ancient Rome – same gender relations caused the dwindling of the population that lead to it’s destruction. Lack of population growth lead them to take mercenary soldiers – soldiers that they had to pay from other nations – which lead to their downfall.

But worse than that is same gender relations causes a person to lose his potential. A person’s goal in life is to bring the most good to the world as possible – using his qualities & talents. Part of that is bringing children to the world. Same gender marriages – prevent children from coming into the world. A person who chooses same gender marriage – prevents unique children from coming into the world. Their choice may prevent an Einstein or a Motzart from entering the world. Their choice is in essence selfish – for although they please themselves – they withhold beautiful children from entering into the world.

Those are just some examples.

Abandoning the Religion of Secularism & the Congregation of Conformists
Secularism is a religion. It’s the religion of following whatever is comfortable. It leads to falling to the lowest common denominator. What is acceptable to one group and unacceptable by another becomes acceptable to society. What is unacceptable in one year becomes acceptable the next year – until society falls into the abyss of immorality. That is what happened in Sodom. Giving charity became forbidden.

Truth is not a religion. G-d is truth. The truth He gave is in the Torah. So in reality Judaism is not a religion – it is truth.

When a person puts his mind on hold for what is popular and acceptable – they do disservice to the world. But even more so, they do disservice to themselves. For they veer off the path of what they are to achieve in this world.

Truth – the Secret to Achieving one’s Potential

The first Jew was Abraham. He changed the world because he dared to question. He questioned the rationality of idolatry. He questioned The “righteousness” of sacrificing children. He questioned to determine who is the true G.d of the world.

He was a pillar of Kindness & he always followed truth. He was a beacon of hospitality – whose house was open on four sides to strangers. He reached his potential for doing good through the pursuit of truth and kindness.

Apparently that is the role of the Messiah. He will get the people to think.

In the interim we have the Torah and Torah scholars as guides.

We need an Abraham in this world today.

People want money.

ok. good. i have a million dollars.

now what? i am not going to parade with my bank statement on my lapel.

i’d rather be the son of a king – without worry about my account. no need to check how much i have, because my account is unlimited.

Emunah / Faith in Hash-m – the Unlimited Bank Account

those who have emunah – faith in Hash-m / g-d – are sons and daughters of the King of Kings. So, in reality they have an unlimited bank account. If you believe it will be good, it will be good. If you believe in Hash-m enough, you can have what you want.

once a rabbi was discussing with another rabbi – whether one must need a particular thing and believe that G-d will give it to him (if he has faith in G-d) – or is the need irrelevant – and G-d will give a person what he wants regardless if the person needs the object. the rabbi defending the no need position said “Look. I don’t need a gold watch. but i believe G-d is going to give it to me.” A short time later, someone knocked on the door. The man said “Rabbi. We were discussing an inheritance of our family. We couldn’t decide who would receive the Gold watch. So we decided we would give it to you, the Rabbi!”

so really – you don’t need a bank account – if you have enough faith in Hash-m. But you must be on the level. That’s why I carry a debit card.

my rebbe used to say – once a rabbi would make money – by finding lost money in the street. he believed – he found.

i am not on that level – but having simple faith can open doors that seem to be locked.

money is not evil

money is like fire. it can be used to build or to destroy. one can give money for charity, to a poor person, a worthy Torah institution or Yeshiva. Or it can be used for gambling, alcohol, or other vices.

Spending on Priorities

some people spend money for luxuries but skimp on necessities

i believe – that a necessity today for the spiritual upbringing of the children is – a solid Torah Day School. Some will spend thousands on a vacation, a wedding, a car – but when it comes to Torah education – they send children to the most convenient, free school. When one spends – priorities should come first.

Stinginess & Destruction

People can use their money for good. Or they can hoard it.

Once a ruler – spent the treasuries his family amassed to give to poor people. When they complained, He said to them – you didn’t benefit from your money, i did benefit from the money (i spent it for a mitzvah – of which the reward is eternal). You lost your money, I saved the money (in an account in heaven). You put it in place that it had to be guarded, i put it in a place where it needs not be guarded.

There are people that are penny-wise but dollar foolish. They refuse to get married because they don’t want to spend on their spouse. They destroy their marriage, because they are demanding to the penny about spending. There is a category of people that their money is like their blood. Interesting – in Hebrew blood & money – have a common word – Damim. Damim in Hebrew means blood & money.

In Pirkei Avot it says “Who is Rich? The one who is content with their lot.” (Chapter 2:1)

A friend told me – if one puts their faith in money or makes their happiness dependant upon money – if their stock goes up – they are happy. If it goes down – they are sad. When one puts their faith in Hash-m – regardless of the stocks going up or down – one will be happy. Because he or she knows that all that the Merciful One (Hash-m) does – He does for the good.

Giving Priorities

Priorities exist in giving – one should give to a close family member before a stranger. One Should give to members of his community before other communities. One Should give to people following Torah before those that do not. One should give to Torah institutions before giving to Secular institutions.

One should know where his or her money is going to help others.

Be big. Give to the Poor. Give to the Torah institutions. You chase them. Don’t let them chase you. Do good with your money.