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Don’t Let Others Make Life Difficult – Do it Yourself or How to Avoid Problems

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There are two worlds. This world & the after-world.

A big difference exists between this world and the next apart from this being a physical world, while the next world is a spiritual world.

The difference is this world one works. The next one gets rewarded. The reward is great. There are many allusions to the two worlds in Pirkei Avot / Ethics of the fathers.

In this life we are to produce. To do. To build. For the good.

What is Good?

Your first question is : What is good?

That one can find by following the Torah. The Shulhan Aruch / Code of Jewish Law by Rabbi Yosef Caro for Jews and the 7 Noahide commandments for Gentiles.

But more than that one must do more than what is proscribed by the Torah. One must know and use their strengths to use to achieve their particular purpose in life –

In the Parasha / Weekly Torah reading of Vayeshev. And Yaakov Dwelt in the palce his father Sojourned… These are the descendants of Yaakov – Yosef was 17 years old …

The question the commentators pose is why does it start talking about Yosef’s story as the descendant of Yaakov / Jacob.

Rashi Answers: Yaakov wanted to sit in Serenity – kaftza alav rogzo shel yosef – the difficulty with Yosef (that he was lost from his father for 22 years) jumped upon him. G-d said “Is it not enough for the righteous to sit in serenity in the next world that they have to sit in serenity over here.”

Meaning – this is the world to produce. To do good for the world. If one is not producing, G-d sends messages to us.

These messages we hear every day. Maybe you overhear a conversation of people saying “Joe Smith” is dishonest. It might mean that you must look into your own deeds – if there is a bit of dishonesty in them. In Talmud Berakhot 63a it says “One who sees a Sotah in her degradation should remove himself from wine.” A sotah is a woman suspected of adultery – that may have come into temptation through drinking wine. Someone who sees this woman – should take a firm resolution to limit consummation of wine. One explanation why is because G-d is showing him this for he has a similar trait of falling to temptation – and he should take steps to curb himself of it.

G-d does only good. He does what is in our best interest. G-d sends us difficulties – not always to punish us – but to motivate us to produce or to follow the good path. If one follows the good path of Torah, and produces as much as he or she can – even through difficulties – G-d has no need to send difficulties to the person.

If one still feels they have too many difficulties they can always consult a friend, preferably who has daat Torah / Torah knowledge – who can lend a sympathetic ear.*

Once my uncle was angry at my cousin. He said to his father “I learned my lesson by your explanation – there is no need to punish me.”

Correcting ourselves – is proactive problem solving – you prevent the problems from even occurring.

I learned this lesson from past experiences. Now you have the knowledge that I had to learn through suffering.

Use it wisely.

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*Anyone who needs help should seek someone to talk with. If you have certain concerns and want the Torah perspective you can contact us – Jerusalem Life via email at info@jerusalemlife.com

Four Questions & Three Words to Make You Smarter & More Successful

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The Four Elements in Personality of a Person

A man is composed of Earth, Water, Air and Fire. People’s personalities are a combination of all of them. You have:

Airy people – like social butterflies.

 

Firey people – hot tempered or very take charge.

 

People like water – fickle or unstable or go with the flow.

 

People that are down to Earth.

 

Each one of us has some of these traits.

The personality is a combination. Some have more of one than the other. I think I am of the down to earth kind.

Each element trait can be used for good or bad.

That is our goal in life. Using our personality and talents to do the greatest possible for the World.

The Guide to Reach Success

G-d gave us the Torah to reach that potential.

Nothing else will do.

Here are proofs that the Torah is the true path to Success.

A rich man – who beats his wife? Successful as a person or not? Obviously not. The Torah prohibits lifting a hand against another. An woman Executive who is a tyrant at home? Successful or not? Obviously not. The Torah says not to be a tyrant at home. A wealthy young millionaire – who spends his time texting rather than helping others around him? Successful or not? No. The Torah teaches the value of helping others. A middle class person – who raises a family with good values. Successful? Yes. The Torah teaches us the value of being a good person and transmitting it to our children through a Torah education.

The Problem of Religious Stereotyping

I met many people. Some shy away from religion. Some don’t want to here about it. Some want to convert you. Some are open minded. Some are thirsty to learn. Some will cross the street when they see you.

I can see all their points of view. I myself find organized religion – lacking to say the least. Worshiping a man – doesn’t make sense to me. Worshiping objects also is irrational. Killing innocent people in the name of G-d is also unbearable to support.

The problem why many shy away from Judaism is because they throw all religions in a pot – including Judaism – and reject all.

Basically it’s stereotyping.

Judaism is Life

Judaism is not a religion. The Torah is called “a Tree of Life”. What are the fruits of a tree of life? Life. Torah is life.

Judaism is based upon the laws of the Torah. The Torah is the only divine law that was given to a people, by G-d himself, in which millions of people heard him speaking. Compare that to any other religion. Many say – this person had a vision or a dream or a prophesy. That cant be compared to millions of people personally hearing G-d speak to each one of them. No vision. Millions actually witnessing and hearing the transmission of a Divine Law – the Torah.

Will the Real Law of G-d Please Stand Up

The first step in becoming smarter than others – is to recognize the true law of G-d – the Torah. Defining Smart as being ready, willing, able and active in achieving your potential in life.

Someone asked me – “If you could do any transgression, and not be held accountable, what would you do?”

I thought about it.

“Nothing.” I replied.

Not that I was not tempted. But the Torah teaches that a person only sins if a spirit of folly enters into them. It basically means that any transgression will lead you farther from achieving your goal and potential in life.

If I was to follow transgression – I wouldn’t be true to myself, my goal, my purpose and my ability to help others. Instead of achieving my goal, I would be following after futile pleasures and be left with nothing. Achieving nothing – like dust in the wind.

See the difference between Yaakov / Jacob and Esav / Esau. Jacob followed after Torah. At life end, He had a beautiful family – children, grand children & great grand children following in his path of wisdom, exceptional values & being models of those that represent the G-d that his father discovered. People of the world would believe in G-d because of them.

Esav, on the other hand, who followed his passions, had many Generals, armies and much money. But what did he do for the world? Nothing great. Came after him, his way – was the Greek culture. Look at external beauty – but it’s no problem to be rotten inside.

This is the victory of Hanukah. The victory of values over external looks. Being good rather than following after dead-end pleasures.

I deviated many times from the Torah path, unfortunately. Every time finding, I am not achieving. Just churning water.

Your Most Important Asset

I never was too religious. Pain was my motivator to get me to think. After many years, I found that your most important asset is your ability to think. Your mind should be in control of your emotions not the other way around is what my Rebbi used to say.

Determining the True law of G-d and the Path to Success

G-d had to give a way for people to determine the true law of G-d. it must be simple enough for the average man or woman – be able to determine what that law is. Otherwise only smart people would be accountable for transgressions. We are all responsible for our acts – whether we are smart or average.

One can find G-d through an emotional event. But it will not necessarily help you find the true G-d. You can find G-d – but still not know who he is. But emotions are not a determining factor to find G-d or His law. One person can feel that one religion is right for him, while another will feel something else. So one cannot find the true G-d through emotion or feeling.

The way for one to find G-d is through rationality

Finding G-d through Rational Thought

The Four Questions

G-d, our Father, like a human father – wants us to be successful. If one thinks things out he will be able to come to the conclusion that Torah is the true way of G-d and thus success. How? By asking four questions and answering them rationally.

The four questions are:
1. Is there a G-d?
2. Did He Give a Law?
3. What is that Law?
4. Did G-d Change His “mind”?

 

In short here are the answers:
1. Yes. Rationally, It doesn’t make sense that random atoms formed the world and nature.

 

2. Yes. Rationally, It doesn’t make sense that G-d created a magnificent world to allow others to destroy it.

 

3. The Torah. Rationally, G-d would have to give a law to millions of people, rather than one man, otherwise a person could always say – why should I believe that man. The Torah is the only Divine law given by G-d, witnessed by millions of people.

 

4. No. Rationally, It doesn’t make sense that G-d, who knows all, is omniscient – knows past, present and future, is the most intelligent existence, will change his mind about His laws.

Once one has accepted this train of thought – now one can propel himself through life on a different level. Following the laws of Torah will help a person become a well-balanced, productive, kind individual to reach his personal potential in helping others.

There are three words that help a person to reach his potential. I learned these words the hard way. Through suffering. I believe the suffering was imposed upon me – possibly for my past failings, lack of concern and consideration for other people. But the sufferings woke me up to a new world – to focus on doing good to others, looking at the good in others, being concerned for others – rather than my personal pleasures and whims at the expense of others.

Every day is another opportunity to grow. Every day I try to improve. It’s a never-ending process. Sometimes I take a step back – but at least I know I am on the right path. It is a process of going up and down – but the trend line generally goes up.

What are those three words?

“Hash-m Knows Best.”

A man is full of temptations. He is fickle. One interest drives him here. Another in another direction. But having Torah as a guide will help a person keep his eye on the ball. Even if it is not convenient. Even if it is not comfortable. People don’t like to change. But by changing for the better one becomes the real You. Becoming a better you is the path traced by the Torah.

You become You. With three words You become You.

“Hash-m Knows Best.”

If you don’t know what is good – ask an Orthodox Rabbi. Look in the Shulchan Aruch if you are Jewish. Look in the 7 Noahide laws from the Torah if you are not. But Use the Torah as a guide, Pray to Hash-m to help you find the right path and follow it – and you will go far.

Very far.

The 4 Questions to Ask to Solve a Problem

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When I was a Young Lad – about 25 – I was hired by a company ERI Bancaire, SA. They were in Geneva. A small start-up company. Running things as a good company would. But they needed structure & marketing. They hired me for that.

I got interested in Quality Assurance. I learned the key concepts – like Total Quality Assurance, Continuous Improvement, the House of Quality. Interesting concepts to improve. A Person can also use Quality Techniques to improve themselves.

In Quality Circles, people get together, not to place blame, but to discuss ways to improve the procedures of the company.

I came up with 4 questions – which involve using some of the Quality Tools – like Brainstorming and the Fishbone / Casue & Effect Diagram.

The 4 Problem Solving Questions:

  1. What is the Problem?
  2. What are the main Causes of the Problem?
  3. What are the Best Possible Solutions?
  4. How Can we Implement Them?

The First part involves getting the people involved who know the most or are most concerned about the problem or concern. This is called a Quality Circle. The First Step is to Decide by Consensus, the exact problem. The more precisely it is worded the more accurate solution. Remember to assure that the problem is the real problem – not just a symptom of a greater problem. Like people are coming late, might be a symptom of low moral. Or it might be a problem in itself.

Step 2 is to Brainstorm all of the causes. No idea is criticized. It is just to generate ideas. Not to evaluate. Even if some ideas are a bit off the wall, write them down on the board.

After causes are exhausted. These causes are then placed on a Fishbone or Cause & Effect Diagram. The Fishbone Diagram is looks like box with a horizontal line attached. Attached to the line are other lines that are the major categories of causes. Like “Material, Methods, Machinery, Manpower, Environment, Mindset & Miscellaneous.” You Choose the subcategories of causes. Useful software for making a fishbone diagram is called “Mind-map” Software.

Then discuss by consensus (or vote) what are the major causes. Remember the 80/20 rule also called the Pareto Rule. 80 percent of wealth is in hands of 20 percent of individuals. Or 80 percent of problems come from 20 percent of causes.

The next step is to find solutions to the Causes. Each cause is taken and discussed to find the best possible solution. One Can brainstorm for solutions or decide by consensus or do both. The Idea is to determine what, why where, who, when, & how.

One of the reasons that the Japanese have been successful in their quality campaigns is because their decisions by consensus. It takes more time than a vote, but ultimately a more thought out solution is made. The kinks and considerations are worked out in the discussion rather than after the product or service is implemented. Thus it might make more sense for a person to take the time in the beginning to iron out the details, than to have a detail or error produced and reproduced once it the product is manufactured.

It is more costly to catch an error after it is manufactured than to do so on the drawing board.

The last step is to implement the solutions. People have to be given responsibility and accountability. There should be methods to measure the effectiveness of any solution that is implemented.

There are many Quality Assurance Tools to use to Find solutions. You just have to find the right ones for you. Some include:

Quality Circles – Meetings to solve management, manufacturing, service quality concerns.

Fishbone or Cause & Effect Diagram – which helps to pinpoint causes of problems;

Brainstorming – to Generate Ideas;

House of Quality – used to find relationships between aspects of quality;

Software Quality Assurance Tools – which include endurance (hacker) testing;

Pareto’s Rule – which says that 80% of wealth is found in 20% of individuals – that applies to quality concepts;

Statistical Process Control – which analyzes statistically implementation of quality solutions;,

Force-Field Analysis – Analyzes forces that are working towards a positive outcome and forces against them.

Shewart Cycle, PDCA (plan–do–check–act or plan–do–check–adjust) is an iterative four-step management method used for the control and continual improvement of processes and products. Also known as the Deming circle/cycle/wheel, Shewhart cycle, control circle/cycle, or plan–do–study–act (PDSA).

Many tools are at the disposal of a business. The smart manager uses them to find solutions, avoid finding the person to blame. The smart person can use them to improve themselves.

A problem is sometimes an opportunity in disguise.

Using quality tools and involving others in decisions also have another advantage. People are given responsibility & importance that will help them to be more motivated – as seen in the Theodore Herzberg Motivation Theory – which states people are more motivated when you give them more responsibility, opportunities for achievement and appreciation.

Obviously, we must make our effort to solve problems. Our diligent efforts combined with Sincere & Precise Prayer to G-d / Hash-m will help you to find the best solution and solve problems. Hash-m has all the answers.

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Keywords: #motivation #fishbone #solutions #qualitytechniques #selfhelp #totalqualityassurance #houseofquality #brainstorming #qualitycircles #paretorule #pdsacycle #forcefieldanalysis #consensus

Dear Friend or Dead-End

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Be nice with everybody.

Do kindness with as many people as you can.

But choose your friends.

Have as many as you can.

Make sure they bring you up not bring you down.

I was looking at the dead-end sign today. I noticed something interesting. If you add an upside down “V” to the bottom of the last “D” of the word “DEAD” – you get the word DEAR. And if you add the letters “FRI” to the word “END” you get the word “FRIEND”.

Interesting?

The Weekend Friend

I don’t know if it’s a coincidence that “FRI” are added to the word “END”. Because sometimes you a friend who’s just a friend on the weekend. Meaning to have a good time. But when you need them you cannot find them.

Just a thought. But I do know people like that.

A Real Friend

Once two drunkards were lying in the gutter. One asked the other “Do you love me?!” The other replied “Of course I love you!”

He responded “If you love me, tell me what I’m lacking!”

A friend is here more than just to have a good time together. A good friend will help you to make yourself greater.

He will tell you the truth so that you will improve. Obviously in a tactful way. But nevertheless, a good friend will be there to help you be the best that you can be.

Good Friends Make Good Spouses

Our best friend is supposed to be our spouse.

One of a woman’s roles, in Judaism, is to help her husband become the best that he can be. That’s what we call her in Hebrew “a help mate against him”  –”Ezer Kenegdo”. A helpmate – when he is doing the right thing. And against him – when he’s not.

That is the definition of a good friend.

A Friend in Need is a Friend Indeed

A good friend is one which one can learn Torah together with Him or her. A good friend is there to give you advice or just and ear to listen or a shoulder to cry upon or a hug when it’s needed. A good friend will answer your calls, even if he’s busy or not in the mood.

If your friend is dragging you into doing bad – obviously that is not a friend. Maybe an accomplice – but a friend, not.

Friends in the Torah

Avraham, our Forefather, had three friends – Aner, Eshkol & Mamre. Each one gave him advice regarding whether he should do circumcision at his age of 100. Yehuda had friends that he could confide his deepest secrets – like the incident of Tamar.

One can confide secrets and ask for advice from good friends. I had a question recently. I asked a rabbi for Daat Torah – what is the Torah’s perspective. The question had nothing to do with Torah Observance. The answer I received was different than I thought was good. I changed my decision based upon my consulting the Rabbi.

Family or Friend Priorities

One should not have too many friends over one’s house. Apparently because our main focus for Spiritual Growth and doing kindness is ourselves and our family.

In Tzefat / Safed in Israel, there was a period where there was tremendously great rabbis living in one epoch. The Ari z”l – the Kabbalist, Rabbi Yosef Caro, The Alshich, HaKadosh. They made groups – that some still emulate today – whose purpose was to learn Torah Mussar / Ethics together help to each member of the group improve.

If you see a friend is bringing you down doesn’t mean you you have to be cold to them. You can be warm – but it’s prudent to limit your involvement with them.

And involve yourself with positive people. This is one of the reasons why the Torah states – let the Torah scholars part of your household – because they will bring you up. You and your family.

At times a spouse also must be pushed away. If they are bringing the other spouse down in Torah and Mitzvot, a competent Rabbi must be consulted to determine whether the relationship should continue.

A spouse can improve. But if there’s no hope for improvement, a competent Orthodox rabbi should be consulted.

If a Jewish person married a non-Jew, the non-Jew has the opportunity to convert to Judaism with an Orthodox rabbi. Because if one is Jewish and the other is not they are on two different wavelengths.

A Jew is to observe the 613 commandments from the Torah. A non-Jew only required to follow the Seven Noahide laws for all humanity from the Torah. So it behooves the couple for the non-Jewish partner to convert to Judaism if they are already married. Otherwise, each member cannot really reach their potential. Because one is observing one set of laws from Torah and the other is observing the other set of laws from Torah. They live in two different worlds.

Our job in this world is to become as great as we possibly can be. The Torah teaches us how.

Real Success

Success is not measured based upon your bank account. Success is measured by how much you have in your “kindness account”. And how well one is performing serving God the way he wants us to serve – ie, in Torah and Mitzvot.

A simple way to prove that a person’s bank account is not correlated with his personal potential that he or she has achieved – is to look at many of the rich. Many have big bank accounts, but not necessarily the best character traits. A person that is kind is more successful in the eyes of most than a person who is rich yet beats his wife.

This is obvious.

Our goal in life is to become best we can be in terms of being a good person. Surrounding us ourselves with friends, family and Torah scholars that will bring us up – is one way to make the path easier and to improve your chance of success.

Break Out of Your Comfort Zone. The Search for Truth.

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geneva-canton-the-water-of-lake-leman-in-geneva-jetI used to live in Geneva, Switzerland in a nice, quiet, quaint studio – not far from the Synagogue. The people were friendly. When just I got there, They gave me advice – where to shop, the Kosher Restaurants, the supermarkets, the tourist sights – the Jewish community. They told me about the transportation system. I learned my way around town.

But there was a certain store to avoid – they said. Their prices were high. There were other stores that were much more reasonable, but further away. So once in a while when I needed the goods they had, I would travel a distance to purchase the goods.

One day i became acquainted with the store. I found that it had good prices and good quality. The store owner was quite a friendly man as well. But when I finally decided it was worth the while to go to that store, it was too late. I was soon to be returning to the United States – for I finished the project for which I was hired.

I learned from that experience to not always believe what you hear. People exaggerate. People have biases, hatreds, bad experiences. What might not be good for them, might be good for you.

But more importantly – I learned in order to find truth you must seek it sincerely. Not just take everything as truth because someone said it. Yes take words of people with a grain of salt – unless you have complete faith in them.

If someone tells you something – investigate it thoroughly. I also learned that in Yeshiva. If it doesn’t make sense – delve deeply, until you find truth.

I heard that many people believed that the nutritional value of spinach was great because of its high iron content. Then someone discovered, that the German scientist, who did the study of spinach – misplaced the decimal point – instead of 3.5 mg of Iron, he wrote 35.0 milligrams of Iron.

“A Diet for a Little Planet – What they don’t teach you in Harvard Medical School.” is a book that talks about nutrition. It includes a  story about a Harvard professor – that spoke frequently about the dangers of cholesterol. One student found some of his words to be a bit off. He investigated, and found that this professor was paid off by a Cholesterol Drug company, to preach the dangers of cholesterol. This was the company’s way to assure future Doctors would prescribe their medicine.

Unfortunately, this is the story of most people in the world. They follow friends, a religion, fad, fashion, a philosophy, a way of life – until they die or if they pray to G-d/ Hash-m to find truth and make the proper efforts, they find out the truth.

Most people do not make the effort to find truth. They would rather follow the easy path of lies than pursue the challenging path of searching for truth.

The problem is is that only in this world can a person correct themselves. In the world of truth – Heaven or the next world – you will find out the truth, but it will be to late to correct. This world is the world to work to do good. The next world is to receive the reward for ones deeds.

Better to know the true path here than only once one gets above.

The Jews had to leave Egypt very quickly. If they had not left so speedily, they would have sunk to the 50th level of impurity. And then they would have never been able to get out of it.

Our sages say today we are on the 50th level of Impurity. So how are we to get out of it, if our ancestors would not have been able to get out? Today we have the Torah. In Egypt they did not have the Torah, so they would not have been able to get out.

Today – with sincerity, a yearning to find and a serious effort to search for truth, the Torah as a guide, wanting to do the True Will of G-d, & belief in oneself – one can achieve the true will of G-d.

This is why it says in pirkei Avot – “Make for yourself a Rabbi.” A Rabbi that you can trust. A rabbi that makes sense. A Rabbi that is like an angel. A rabbi that speaks truth. A rabbi that follows Torah.

Thus you’ll be one step closer. But always use rationality and logic as a guide. The Torah doesn’t want a person to follow like sheep. G-d wants you to think, question, ask, challenge to find truth.

You just have to be willing to lose friends, popularity, your old habits, to find it.

But in the end one will be happier. For living a life of truth is not like living a life of lies. Living a life of purity is not like living a life of impurity. Living purpose, has no comparison to living aimlessly.

Many people are lost. The first step to break out of their self imposed shell of life is to be dedicated to truth – regardless of the price it takes.

When you are true to yourself & true to G-d – then one finds meaning and happiness.

People who hate are not happy. People who envy are not happy. They find targets to vent their anger that they are not content with their lives. It is easier to hate than to think and do what is good.

G-d gives us freedom of choice to choose – if we will lead a meaningful and great life or a life of the shallow pursuit of pettiness and hatred.

The desire to find truth is the starting point to get out of one’s self-imposed shell.

The Secret to Success – Be Proud of Past to Uplift Your Future

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israel-gate-e1399369688529These are the descendants of Yitzhak / Isaak son of Avraham, Avraham gave Birth to Yitzhak. (Bereshit / Genesis 25:19)

This week’s Torah Reading – Toldot – tells the Story of the descendants of Isaak. His children are Eisav / Esau and Yaakov / Jacob.

But it does not mention them in the first verse. We learned in a previous Parasha (Noah ) – that the main descendants of a person are his or her good deeds. When a person does a good deed, the repercussions have far reaching effects.

When the Torah says “Abraham Gave Birth to Yitzhak” – it is apparently telling us about Yitzhak’s Good Deeds.

Why was one reason that Yitzhak was so great in his deeds? Because Abraham, gave birth to Yitzhak.

Avraham was a Tzadik / Righteous Person. Yitzhak, realized this and followed his father’s ways – because he was a living emulation of the Torah. This is one of the secrets that made him great – that he was not only proud of his Father, but he followed in his footsteps because of the realization of Avraham’s greatness.

Recognizing One’s Greatness – Starts with Recognizing One’s Ancestor’s Greatness

Noah was a Great man. All people are his descendants. A Gentile that wants to become great and wants to break out of the path of meritocracy that the world traces – is to follow the Noahide laws.

Jews are descendants of Abraham, Isaak and Jacob. Thus emulating and respecting our lofty ancestors – will help us reach a higher level in the path to becoming great. Our past is replete of Rabbis and Torah Scholars. Emulating & Learning from them, helps us to become greater People – boosting us to levels much greater than the common man.

Like Rabeinu Yona Gerondi writes:

“The first gateway in the service of G·d is to recognize the value of oneself & to understand one’s loftiness & the loftiness of his ancestors, & their greatness, & their importance & their being beloved before the Creator, Blessed be He. One should strive & fortify oneself continuously to ingrain within oneself this value & conduct oneself with it always…”

Chapter of Shaarei HaAvodah / Gateways of Divine Service in His book Shaarei Teshuva / Gates of Repentance.

The Key to Living – Be Thyself

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5211d9b944b43a871b804169d610a13fParashat:* חיי שרה / H’ayey Sarah / the Life of Sarah*

*And Sarah Lived 100 years and 20 years and Seven Years. These are the years of the life of Sarah.”*

*Q: Why does Torah say “These are the years of the life of Sarah”, it seems redundant?*

*A: Some people follow fad, fashion, popularity, keeping up with Jones, what will the neighbor think. Sarah Lived her own life. She was true to herself. Thus she really lived. When one follows their essence – their soul – they truly live.*
Based on Arizal

*Shabbat Shalom* ????

People ask me about Israel. I say in Israel I feel like I’m living. Outside I feel like I’m existing.

That’s the question for all of us.

Am I living or am I existing.

G-d says : I give you life, Choose life.

Torah is not a religion. It is life itself.

Torah is not about doing rituals. it is about being best you can be. it’s about getting closer to the source of life, Hashem. the closer one is to Hashem , the closer one is to life.

The media turns people into puppets.

Making you believe what they want you to believe, what’s their agenda . they condition a person to be small.

Ask yourself about each action – Is it bettering myself or world? Am I helping others?

שני חיי שרה
These are the years of Sarah
Why? Zohar says these were her real years. These were her own years. She lived a real life.

Because she did not attach herself to the Yetzer Harah / the evil inclination, she attached herself to life. Thus it says ועל דא דילה הוו חיין , היא נדבקה בחיים ולכן שלה היו החיים

Some people live lives of others . One person wanted to be a doctor but he is only a paramedic. One person wanted to be a rabbi, but he is a businessman. His parents needed him to tend the store, so instead of following his dreams and aspirations, he gave in to parental pressure.

One person wanted to marry a girl, but didn’t because of his parents. One man wanted to be a successful business man but laziness stopped him.

One person wanted to become a great Torah scholar but didn’t because he gave in to his lack of self confidence.

One person wanted to be a fruit vendor but because of society pressure he became a lawyer. One person wanted to become a Tzadik / Righteous Person, but he didn’t because of his concern of what his friends would think.

One person wanted to become a great scientist, but didn’t because he was to addicted to technology. One person wanted to become a Shomer Shabbat / Sabbath Observant Jew, but did not because he was too addicted to women.

One person wanted to make his family all go to A Torah school, but he didn’t because his wife discouraged him. One women wanted to be completely Tzanuah / Modest in Dress & Comportment, but she couldn’t bring herself to go against the peer pressure.

One woman wanted to marry a Torah scholar, but didn’t because of her friends. One woman wanted to marry a good man, but didn’t because she gave into a friend’s advice who had a grudge against her friend’s prospective husband. One woman divorced her husband who was a Cohen, because she listened to her friends who were jealous of her. Since he was a Cohen, she could never remarry him.

The Torah gives us a way to break out of this costume of a life we are living and start living our dreams. Making ourselves into who we can be.

Torah is called Haim / life.

There is a Story of rabbi Ovadia Yosef. He wanted to Learn Torah. His parents wanted him to tend to the store. His Rabbi came to the store, took the storekeepers apron and said to his father – I’ll tend to the store, let your son go & learn Torah. The father wouldn’t here that the Rabbi would work in the store. He let his son go to learn and he become one of the greatest Torah scholars in the generation.

Rabbi Eliezer son of Hurkanus, was son of rich man. He wanted to study Torah. His father wanted him to tend to the field. One day he found his son crying. What’s the matter said his father. “I want to study Torah.” “You are passed the age of becoming a student.” Rabbi Eliezer ran away. He became a great Torah scholar. His father came to Jerusalem to disown him from his inheritance. His father didn’t recognize his son when he was saying beautiful Divrei / Words of Torah. His father was so impressed. He inquired about the young man. They told him it was his own son. He said I came here to disinherit my son. Now I want to give him my entire fortune. R. Eliezer disagreed. He was satisfied just learning Torah.

They both left against the will of others to become great scholars.

The first line of Mesilat Yesharim / Path of the Just explains achieving one’s goal in life. He says we have to get clear our purpose in life. The question we must ask is : Am i living the life i want to live to achieve my purpose or am I living the life imposed upon me?

The Torah is here to free us. Like it says in Pirkei Avot / the Ethics of the Fathers.

There is a Story of rabbi A. Henoch Leibowitz, former Rosh HaYeshiva of the Chofetz Haim Yeshiva, who wanted to become a doctor. His father asked why. He said I want to help people to be healed. His father said , learning Torah will prevent them from being sick.

The secret is to choose to follow truth , Truth of torah, and be prepared to lose. Lose your friends. Lose your appeal. Lose your popularity. Lose your projected income.

A rabbi said who is the greatest of the forest the Nesher. The king of all birds. It can fly the highest.

But other birds are more talented. They can catch fish. They can swim in the water. They can do many things. The reason why the Nesher is the king is because it is excels in one area. That’s why the Nesher , it is the king. That’s why it can fly the highest.

Free yourself.

Don’t criticize condemn or complain . That’s existing.

A Person who sends a child to a Torah school teaches them to live.

Remembering the Kind Hand of G-d – Washing Machine Lesson

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lgwashingmachineThe repair man called. “Please read me the error code on the Washing machine and the model and serial numbers” He seemed rushed and didn’t have time to come to check himself. “OK. that means there are two parts that must be replaced. I’ll order them and get back to you.”

That meant I had to drag loads of laundry to the laundromat. Put them in, take them out. put in dryers. Lug them back to the house – once a week. Every time taking 2 hours of my precious time.

After 3 weeks of the initial contact, the repair man comes. He inspects the machine and says “the water leading to the washing machine is almost off. That’s the problem.” He turns on the water and leaves.

All that trouble – weeks of going to the laundry to just turn on a faucet. I could have done it myself.

I learned two things. One is – If the repair man tells you to read him a code – tell him to come check it out himself.

Second is that – at times a person goes through all sorts of difficulties because there is a small matter missing from their life. In my case the small thing was that the faucet was not on properly.

In most people’s lives it is that – we overlook seeing the hand of G-d. Every thing that happens is for our personal good. A person loses a job. They complain. They criticize the boss. They condemn the company.

Hold on a minute. G-d was behind the fact that the person was fired. Maybe G-d has something better in store for you. Perhaps, he wants you to be careful not to work on Shabbat. Perhaps there was a misdeed that one did and now one is receiving their pay back. Perhaps, He wants you to not suffer in the hands of the new boss.

Many reasons. Don’t condemn. Look at the positive.

Emunah – the Small Attitutde Change –  Every thing G-d does is for the best. 

The missing ingredient in many a life is Emunah / Faith that every thing G-d does is for the best. This small attitude change, changes the whole picture. From being cloudy to sunny. From being miserable to being happy daily.

The Need to Knead – Rising to the Challenge or a Timeless Lesson from Abraham

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img_0380The Torah, the Five Books of Moses, was written by G-d.

G-d’s words in the Torah are concise. Something that can be said in three words, will not be said using four. He is not redundant. Every word is calculated. If there is a seemingly extra word or phrase found in Torah, it must be teaching a lesson.

In this week’s Parasha / Weekly Torah reading, Parashat Va’yera, we find several instances of seemingly redundant words.

Avraham Avinu, the forefather of the Jewish nation was exemplary in doing kindness. His Tent was open on four sides to accomodate guests, so that they would find a door on any side they approached.

He had great desire to do kindness. So much so that on the third day of his circumcision, the most painful day, he was sitting outside his tent in the scorching heat searching for guests.

G-d was speaking with Avraham, when he saw three angels, disguised as men. His desire for doing kindness was so great that he excused himself from speaking to G-d to invite these men for a meal.

He asked his wife to knead the dough and prepare bread.

Two questions – why did he have to ask her to knead the dough? Sarah, his wife, knew how to make bread. Also Sarah had many servants, why should she knead the dough?

One answer is, making dough is the most rigorous part of making bread. Avraham wanted to teach her that if a Mitzvah comes in one’s hands, do the most difficult part.

Apparently, he was telling her for self perfection, through mitzvahs / commandments, doing the more challenging part will help a person to better themselves. It will help them become closer to G-d and they will get the greatest reward.

Because it is difficult it is not bad. One has to rise to the challenge. Life without challenge is existance. Life with overcoming challenges is living. Life can be difficult but still be good for the person.

Some shy away from doing mitzvot because they are challenging. challenge is part of the Mitzvah. Challenge helps us grow. as opposed to challenges from exercise and sport, which can make a person a stronger athelete, Challenges from the Torah make us a better person.

when we overcome we feel better about life and ourselves.

This is one explanation of the saying in Pirkei Avot “According to the pain is the reward.”

Stress Killers – It’s all Attitude

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Why do some people get stressed and others do not?

Apparently, attitude.

I recently went to a talk about stress. The Lecturer, Dr. Peter Reznik, mentioned that expectations that are not met cause stress. He said do your effort but if your expectations are not met don’t get flustered.

This idea is found in Torah.

We find it in Pirkei Avot / Ethics of The Fathers (2:16) which was made into a song … lo alecha hamlacha ligmor…

It is not your responsiblity to complete the work (ie, learn the Entire Torah), but you are not free to desist from it.

G.d rewards us for our efforts. Many a time the result is not in our hands.

Worse than failure, is not trying.

The deadline. The pressure of being responsible for your family’s food on the table. The pressure of nagging spouses all can increase stress.

I don’t need this pressure on. so kick it off. It’s in your control to get stressed or not. You choose to be cool.

המעניין יותר שמצאתי הוא בספר העיקרים לר”י אלבו (מאמר שלישי פכ”ז):

“כי כמו שהזמן הוא דבר בלתי נמצא בפעל, כי העבר אינו נמצא והעתיד לא יצא עדיין אל הפעל וההוה אינו אלא העתה הקושר בין העבר והעתיד”

One statement we find that helps us to cope with worry is :

Time is something that has no real existance. The past is no longer, and the future hasn’t arrived and the present is now that ties the past and future.

or One should not worry because The past has past and the future is unknown and the present passes in the blink of an eye.

Even if a sword is on a person’s neck there is always hope.

Belief in a G.d that only does good and what is in our best interests also makes it easier to cope with the daily aggravations we encounter.

Beleif that there will be a positive outcome can lead to a positive outcome, and the contrary. That is the power of positive thinking.

One who has such strong belief in G.d can nullify any force. This is the power of Believing that ‘Ein Od Milevado” – There is only Hashe-m / G-d.